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Assertiveness Skills Blog

Chris Farmer's Leadership and Management Training Blog

Chris Farmer

Welcome - the purpose of the blog page is to provide you with a never ending source of valuable, practical and entertaining information designed to help you get the best performance from yourself and others.

In these blogs you will find all the information you need to make faster progress in less time and effort. Here you will find all the information you need to achieve your goals. In addition to helping yourself to achieve your goals, you can use the same information to help others to achieve their goals.

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Assertiveness Skills Blogs

Assertiveness is a special communication style that occupies the middle ground between “Coming on too strong” and “Not coming on strong enough”.

Some people are too pushy, and they tend to come on too strong: they seem aggressive or overassertive. The results is that other people move away from the overassertive, (aggressive) personality.

On the other hand, some people are too timid. They lack assertiveness. Their message is too weak to make an impact.

The middle ground is the right amount of assertiveness. Assertiveness has three components:

  • Assertive words and phrases
  • Assertive body language
  • Assertive voice tones

The assertive use of words means developing speech habits that convey strength but are at all times polite and respectful. Assertiveness means avoiding words and phrases that are too aggressive, such as “You had better…….”.

And it means avoiding words that are too passive, such as, “Sorry, but I think this might…..”

The assertive use of body language includes the proper: Posture, Hand gestures, Hand shake, Eye contact, facial expression, proximity and orientation.

The assertive use of voice tones means the proper volume, (how loud or soft) the proper pitch, ( how shrill or base) the proper pace ( How fast or slow) and the proper emphasis.

Assertiveness Skills Blogs

Don't Let Them Get to You

9 September 2016 Don't Let Them Get to You Thumbnail

If you are surrounded by negative people, make sure you don't let them get to you. Don't let them stop you aiming for your goals.

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How Assertive are You?

9 June 2015 How assertive are you? Thumbnail

You need to develop the ability to communicate with the correct amount of assertiveness. This will enable you to express your opinion in meetings, or be able to withstand the pressure of a social bully.

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Emotional Intelligence Training

4 August 2014

Emotional Intelligence Training In any given situation, how you feel emotionally, strongly affects how you act. You would agree with me on that, wouldn't you? If you feel like a winner, then you will be more likely to win. If you feel like a loser, then you will be more likely

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How to Develop a More Attractive Personality

31 December 2013

Develop a more attractive personality Question: Would you like to be more attractive? Most of us would. Most of us would like it if we could attract more people. We would like to attract more customers; we would like to attract employers, members of the opposite sex, and we would like

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What is Assertiveness Training?

18 December 2013

What is assertiveness training? Assertiveness training is training that will teach you the skills you need, in order to find the, "middle ground", between being too "meek and mild", on the one side, and being too aggressive and rude, on the other side. The middle ground between being "too soft" and

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Five Principles of Confident Communication

18 April 2013

Five principles of confident communication Are you a confident communicator? Or do you sometimes say to yourself, "I know what I mean, but I can't explain it?" Do you sometimes feel nervous when you are expected to express yourself to a group of other people? If you lack confidence as a

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Where can I Find a Good Assertiveness Training Course?

1 March 2013

Where can I find a good assertiveness training course? A good assertiveness training course will be able to help you to tread the middle ground between being, "too meek," on one side, and being, "too pushy", on the other side. You need to be able to stand your ground and make

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Interpersonal Communication Skills Training

20 February 2013

Interpersonal communication skills training Interpersonal communication skills training is training designed to improve your ability to gain the cooperative help and understanding of others. Interpersonal communication skills training is important for some of your people, because some of your people, who are technically proficient, are not proficient at handling other people

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How to Create More Self-Confidence and Energy

1 February 2012

How to create more self-confidence and energy Self-confidence is the result of believing that you DO possess the necessary attributes that will allow you to successfully achieve the tasks that you must. Self-confidence then is based on self-belief. If you believe that you will win then your confidence increases. If you

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Assertive Vs Aggressive

10 July 2009

Assertive vs Aggressive People often ask me how they can tell the difference between Assertiveness and Aggressiveness You need to be assertive You must not be aggressive So, you should know the difference. Assertiveness Assertiveness is a form of communication that is rational, based on a logical interpretation of the facts

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Blog Categories

Accelerated Learning (7)

Accelerated learning techniques are special methods of organising information, so that you can more rapidly memorise and more accurately recall it on demand. Accelerated learning also includes mind mapping and creative thinking techniques.

Assertiveness (10)

Assertiveness is a both a communication style and a mind-set which, when combined, allows a people to express their meaning using just the amount of forcefulness, in relation to their body language, voice tone and spoken language.

Change Management (20)

Change management training is how to use the fact of continuous change, to work FOR you, rather than against you. It is a fact that all improvement implies change, but many people hate change. Change management is about training people to love change as a means of making the future better.

Coaching, Mentoring and Developing Staff (8)

There is a pressing need to develop the next generation of leaders, managers and technical experts. One way to develop staff is through coaching and mentoring. To be an effective coach and mentor is not an easy skill to master. These blogs discuss the skills of coaching, mentoring and staff development.

Communication - Clear Communication (60)

One to the most important facets of communication is clarity. Whenever you write or speak, your words should denote only one possible meaning. If your words can be properly interpreted in multiple ways, then you are creating the conditions for confusion, error and misunderstanding. These blogs discuss the nature of clear communication.

Communication - Listening Skills (8)

Communication includes the ability to attend to, understand and memorise what people say to you. Effective Listening is an active, not a passive process. These bloggs discuss what it takes to be a good listener.

Communication - Nonverbal Communication (7)

Communication includes a large visual component. How you appear, as you speak, makes a big difference to how your message is received. These blogs are about how to best use your body language. (Eye contact, posture, dress, hand and arm gestures, etc.)

Communication - Persuasive Communication (34)

Persuasion is the art of convincing others that your ideas are good, right, fair and practical, and in addition, persuasion includes motivating people to put your ideas into action. Persuasion is a key communication skill that everyone should study. These blogs discuss how to be more persuasive.

Communication - Written Communication (9)

A part of your communication is in the written form. Writing well is a skill that most people do not study, though it is of immense importance. These blogs discuss how you might improve your written communication.

Conflict Management and Handling Difficult People (29)

Conflict is inevitable, and when it occurs, you need to resolve it quickly and efficiently. Conflict management (and handling difficult people) is about managing your communication and your emotions, so that you arrive at a negotiated solution as quickly as possible. This series of blogs discusses the various ways you can best manage conflict.

Decision Making and Problem Solving (16)

Decision making is the skill of selecting the best option from many options. And problem solving is the skill at determining the causes and implications of a problem and finding efficient remedies. This series of blogs discusses the elements of effective decision making and problem solving.

Goal Setting (10)

Success is the achievement of a worthwhile goal. And therefore, the first step to achieving a goal is to set it. Goal setting is the starting point of all achievement and is one of the most important topics you could study. This series of blogs discuss the elements of goal setting.

Leadership and Management (131)

Leadership is the art of setting a clear goal and inspiring others to achieve it. Management is the art of organising resources so as to most efficiently achieve that goal. This series of blogs discuss the details of leadership and management.

Mental Health (6)

Mental health is the skill of managing your own mind so as to achieve mental stability and a high degree of rationality. Mental ill health is the opposite, mental instability and irrational actions. This series of blogs, discusses how you might manage your mind.

Motivation (23)

Motivation is an emotion that induces action. Without motivation, nobody would achieve anything of value. This series of blogs discusses the various ways you can motivate yourself and others.

Other (40)

Whilst interesting and informative in their own right, these blogs don't fit into a category.

People Management (4)

People management is a combination of skills including goal setting, communication, planning, handling conflict and motivation skills. This series of blogs discusses people management skills.

Personal Development (91)

The best investment you can make is in your own personal development. If you develop your skills, knowledge and experience, then you will maximise your potential to produce excellent results. This series of blogs looks at the details of personal development.

Personal Effectiveness (82)

You are not paid for how hard you work; you are paid for your effectiveness. It is possible to improve your effectiveness and get more valuable work done in less time and effort. This series of blogs discusses how you might improve your personal effectiveness and therefore speed up your rate of progress.

Stress Management (2)

Stress can be both good for you and bad for you. Good Stress triggers improvement. Bad stress grinds you down. Stress management is about using stress to help you to improve, and to avoid the negative effects of too much stress. These blogs discuss the various aspects of stress management.

Supervisory Management Skills (4)

Supervisory management skills are a combination of five major skill sets, setting goals, communication skills, planning, performance management and motivation. These blogs discuss the details of supervisory management skills.

Team Leadership (3)

For the most part, we all work in teams. Leading the team effectively can make all the difference to the performance of the team, as a whole. This series of blogs discuss the details of team leadership.

Teamwork (22)

Teams are often composed of people who have very different personalities and skills. In order to perform well, the members of the team must work well together and play to each other’s strengths. This series of blogs covers the importance of team work skills.

Time Management (66)

Time management is about prioritising, planning, organising and delegating, so that, at any moment, you are always adding the most value, and setting the conditions for your future success. This series of blogs investigates how you might better manage your time.