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How to Develop your Personality

How to develop your personality

Develop a more attractive personality

Most of us would like to attract more customers; we would like to be attractive to employers, members of the opposite sex, and we would like to attract other attractive people.

We would like to attract more friends; we would like to attract those people who have it within their power to offer us promotions, opportunities and more wealth.

How could you develop the characteristics that combine to make a more attractive personality? How can you make people like you?

In principle, the answer is simple. We could make a list of what seems to us to be the characteristics of attractive people and then we could concentrate on developing and perfecting these qualities building them into our own habits of thought, feeling and action, until they become ingrained into our "soul". When we have the attributes of a more attractive person, we will be more attractive.

The theory is simple.

The first part of the theory, we can do now. We can now write down a list of characteristics that combine to make an attractive personality.

The second part of the theory, we must then do from today onwards.

We must strive to incorporate the following attributes until they become ingrained in our soul; our character, and thus take steps towards developing a more attractive personality.

All attractive people tend to share common traits. Here are some of those traits that make up attractive personalities:

1. Vitality

Vitality is a sense of aliveness! Vitality is energy; life force.

Vitality is a feeling that radiates from certain people that seems to say, " I am here. I am alive".

Vitality is both a physical attribute and an emotional one.

The physical element is one of vibrant health.

Vibrant health is more than merely the absence of illness. Vibrant health is a positive state of super energy; the possession of more life force than the average; the abundance of energy. This is an attractive element because we are genetically predisposed towards people who exude life energy, and we are predisposed to move away from people who radiate signs of illness, disease and death, (for obvious reasons).

Vibrancy also has an emotional component. The vibrant person's brain seems to be buzzing. The vibrant person thinks!

He / she has an active mind.

On the other hand, the dullard does not think. The dullard sits passively and you may get the feeling that his mind is flat lining.

If you were to spend some time talking to a vibrant person then his/her conversation would stimulate your mind; and that stimulation would continue long after you said good bye to the vibrant person.

This is vibrancy; and vibrancy is attractive.

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2. Compassion

Hitler was vibrant. But Hitler was not an attractive man.

Why not? Because the ideal man would have compassion.

Compassion is the quality of having care and concern for the welfare of other living things. Compassion is a life affirming quality. A person with compassion would show a care and concern for other human beings and also a concern for the welfare of animals. The compassionate person would not inflict needless or reckless harm on anyone, or any animal. The compassionate person is caring and has empathy for others, irrespective of their rank, creed, colour, or race.

Compassion is an attractive character trait. Develop more compassion.

3. Productivity

Productiveness is attractive. Productiveness is necessary for survival and so we are predetermined to admire the productive individual over the lazy individual.

In nature, productiveness is the name of the game. If an apple tree produces no apples, the farmer is not happy. If the guard dog lets the burglars in, the guard dog is no good.

If you are productive, then you will be in high demand. And the more productive you are, the more in demand you will be.

By contrast, the lazier, and less productive you are, the more of a liability you are, and the less attractive you will be to others.

Would you rather be associated to a person who earns more for the family or business, each year, or a person who sits around and watches TV all day whilst saying that nobody will "give him a job".

Laziness is unattractive. Productive is attractive.

Strive to be more productive.

4. Honesty

Honesty is respect for the property rights of others.

An honest person is attractive. If you know that you can trust a person to protect your rights, to safeguard what is yours, then you will be attracted to this person.

If you get the feeling that this person may take what is yours, may steal from you, may lie to you. Then to you will be repulsed by this person.

Honesty is a wonderful characteristic that gives a person a golden sheen.

Trust worthiness is attractive. Demand from yourself the virtue of honesty and you will be in high demand.

5. Sense of humour

One attribute that is most attractive is a keen sense of humour.

It is important to be able to laugh; to have a keen sense of humour. This does NOT mean that you have to be funny yourself. You don't need to be able to make people laugh, but you do need to be able to laugh, and to smile and to look as if you enjoy life's ups and downs.

A keen sense of humour means that you are ready to laugh at the other person's jokes.
A keen sense of humour means that you don't take defeat seriously.
A keen sense of humour does not mean that you laugh AT other peoples misfortunes, nor do you laugh at yourself and make yourself into a clown.
A keen sense of humour means that you are able to see the funny side of life and that you are ready to offer people a ready smile and are willing to have fun.

There is a joyous, childlike element to some people that makes them seem light-hearted and friendly. This does not mean they are juvenile or naive. It means that they have developed a keen and intelligent sense of humour.

Examples of people like this are Tim Minchin and Ricky Gervais. Both these people are intelligent, articulate and creative people with a keen sense of humour. Both are succeeding in life predominantly because of their sense of humour.

Remember that you don't have to be the comic to qualify as having a sense of humour. You simply have to be someone who smiles and laughs easily.

Put the same point the other way; don't be too dour; don't be too serious. Don't be stony faced.

And.... Don't become a clown. Don't laugh at other people's expense. Don't use humour as a weapon to downgrade the people around you.

Instead, laugh at your setbacks. Laugh at your troubles. Don't take defeat seriously. Stay cheerful. Smile.

This is an attractive element.

Summary How to Develop a more attractive personality

Focus on developing those characteristics that make up an attractive personality and, at the same time, assiduously avoid their opposites.

Some of the attributes that combine to make up an attractive personality are:

  1. Vitality: both mental and physical vitality
  2. Compassion
  3. Productivity
  4. Honesty
  5. A keen sense of humour
  6. A ready smile

How to develop your personality further.

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About the Author: Chris Farmer


Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.

Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.

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Further Reading in Assertiveness

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    Develop a more attractive personality Most of us would like to attract more customers; we would like to be attractive to employers, members of the opposite sex, and we would like to attract other attractive people. We would like to attract more friends; we would like to attract those people who...
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