6 Step Method to Handle Difficult People

Important: GDPR Email Preferences

As you may already know, the EU General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) will be coming into effect on 25th May 2018. We take your privacy seriously and we are working hard to ensure we comply with the new data protection laws. You can find out more about how we're doing this in our privacy policy on our website.

We want to make sure you continue to receive the latest newsletters, blogs, special offers and more.

As someone who has opted-in to receive our emails in the past, we’d like to give you this opportunity to confirm what you wish to receive:

Just so you know, if you don’t let us know what kinds of emails you want to receive from us, we’ll stop emailing you on the 24th May 2018 - you'll be missing out!

You are of course free to change your mind at any time – just follow the link at the bottom of any of our emails.

6 step method to handle difficult people

On occasion, you have to handle difficult people.
But there are two major contexts in which that can occur:

1. When you are the one who is taking the initiative to speak first.
2. When the other person is the one who is taking the initiative to speak first.

Meaning: you are minding your own business, when suddenly, WHAM! out of nowhere, an angry person appears and starts to give you grief.
That grief may be born out of something that you did wrong, or it might be born out of some complaint over poor service or over what someone else has said.

Whatever the initial cause of the problem, the angry person has taken you by surprise and you have to suddenly deal with this difficult person.

What to do???

How should I deal with a difficult person?

Here are the six steps to deal with the difficult person

Here is the method in brief. Read it, and then we will go through it step by step.

1. Listen
2. Empathise
3. Question
4. Answer
5. Confirm
6. Close

Let us go through the 6 conflict management steps, one by one.

Conflict Management

Conflict Management Training

Conflict is inevitable, because people disagree. Therefore, you must be able to handle conflict situations effectively. You must know how to be assertive, clear and professional (not emotional, upset and angry) whilst in conflict. If you want to learn more on how to achieve this, please click here to see our conflict management training.

1. Listen

Listen without too much interruption.

Let the other person talk themselves out. Let them get it off their chest.
Don't argue. Just listen. Nod your head. Wait. Take some mental notes. Keep breathing.
After a while the other person will slow down and will ask you for a response.

2. Empathise

Show some empathy for the other person's feelings. Reflect back what you think is the essence of their complaint.
Say something like, "So if I am reading you correctly, you are angry because you have not received what you were promised, is that right?"

3. Question

Now you have got the emotions out of the way, it is time to uncover the facts.
Question the person to discover the facts behind the feelings.

What exactly has gone wrong?

What was the original agreement?

Made by whom?

With whom?

When?

What exactly has happened since that time?

Get the facts straight.

4. Answer

When you have your facts straight, then give the best answer that your knowledge and company policy permits.
Tell them what you can do. Tell them what you cannot do.

Make sure the other person understands your answer. Note that they don't have to like your answer. They don't have to agree with your answer. But they must understand the reason for your answer.

5. Confirm understanding

Summarise your answer and check that the other person understands your answer.

You must make your answer clearly understandable and logically reasonable.

• Be clear
• Be logical

If they don't like your answer, go back to stage one and repeat stages 1 through to 5.

6. Close the conversation

Once the answer is understood and if agreement is gained, then close the conversation and move away from the difficult person.
Once an agreement is gained, DON'T KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT.

If you have an agreement, leave the scene.
If you have no agreement, then refers the complainant to the next level up the organisational hierarchy.
If you have an agreement but can't leave the scene, then change the subject of the conversation.
In any case, don't keep talking about the contentious topic.

Once you have an agreement, stop talking.

Summary of how to deal with difficult people.

Here is the six step method, in brief:

1. Listen without interruption
2. Empathise with their feelings
3. Question down to get the facts
4. Answer their complaint
5. Confirm understanding of your answer. (If necessary return to point one)
6. Close the conversation

FREE Training Needs Analysis

FREE Training Needs Analysis!

In order to get the best from your training, you need to discover your relative strengths and weaknesses. Take our FREE training needs analysis questionnaire now and get a report in less than five minutes!

About the Author: Chris Farmer

Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.

Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.

Blogs by Email

Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!

Further Reading in Conflict Management and Handling Difficult People

• Six rules for better conflict management
  Six Rules for Better Conflict Management Are you looking for some ideas on how to better handle conflict and difficult people? If so, I have some good points for you. Over the last ten years, I have taught these ideas to thousands of people who find themselves in conflict situations similar...
  Read Article >
• How to Handle a Difficult Person in Six Easy Steps
  A simple six-step technique that will allow you to deal with argumentative people both at work and in your personal life.
  Read Article >
• Communication and Conflict resolution training
  Communication and Conflict resolution training Conflict at work is inevitable: you are bound to get some. The reason you are bound to see conflict is that people do not have the same ideas: What you think is good: they think is bad. What you think is unacceptable, they think is normal...
  Read Article >
• How to handle workplace conflict
  Learn how to manage conflict situations logically, confidently and quickly.
  Read Article >
• How to Handle Conflict Situations
  It is important that managers are able to handle conflict in an assertive, yet positive and professional manner. In order to do that they need to know the principles governing rational conflict management skills.
  Read Article >

Looking for Conflict Management Training?

If you're looking to develop your Conflict Management and Handling Difficult People Skills, you may find this Conflict Management Training Course beneficial:

Open Training Course Pricing and Availability

Next Open Course Starts in 4 days, London - Central, places available Book Now >