Understanding Human Motivation: Fear of Rejection
Understanding Human Motivation: Fear of Rejection
All human behaviour is motivated by various combinations of desire, fear and anger.
This blog focuses on a particular fear that motivates many people: The fear of rejection.
Many people don't attempt to achieve their goals because of the fear of rejection they may suffer, if they were to try, but fail.
So, they don't even try.
Why is the fear of rejection so strong in some people?
The fear of rejection is strong because humans are social animals, which means we survive in groups, not as individuals.
For millions of years of our evolutionary history, if any individual were rejected - banished and expelled from the family or group, forced to try to survive alone - then that would amount to a virtual death sentence.
Consequently, we have evolved to be acutely sensitive of our position within our family, or social group.
Subconsciously we feel that acceptance from the family, or group, is essential - rejection may mean danger and even death.
This leads to people being afraid to do things that could result in rejection: Salespeople don't make sales calls, people don't enter competitions they would like to win, nor submit applications for jobs they would like to do, all because of the fear of rejection.
On the other hand, some people will do almost anything, however weird or unlawful, in order to gain the acceptance of the gang or "The Family", which is why some "good kids" do bad things.
Overcoming the Fear of Rejection
Fortunately, humans are equipped with an advanced brain which allows them to override primitive instincts motivated by primitive emotions such as fear, anger and desire.
We can use our logical reason to override the irrational fears of rejection, because humans are no longer operating in a context of hunter-gathers surviving in small groups of individuals.
We live in communities of millions and so, you don't need to court the favours of any particular gang or family.
You can live life on your own terms.
About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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Further Reading in Motivation
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Motivational Emotions
Motivation comes in many forms: some positive and some negative. Which of these three motivational emotions do you think are the most effective: fear, anger or desire?
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How to Motivate Myself and Others
All leaders need to develop the skill of motivation. Motivation is a specific emotion. All emotions are a product of thought, because whatever you think about causes an emotion. To be positive you need to think positively.
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Load the Dice in Your Favour
Success requires all three dice; representing you, others, and circumstances, to score a 6. Your excellence, others' performance, and favourable circumstances must align for success. A challenging feat, over which you only have partial control.
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How to Find Positive Motivation
People who have positive motivation are more likely to feel empowered and be more adaptable in difficult circumstances. Find out how to develop a positive mind-set.
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How to be More Fun
Nobody likes being round a grump. Being fun is a trait most people appreciate in others. Obviously, there is a time and a place, but on the whole you can develop a fun attitude that will give you joie de vivre (or the "joy of living").
Read Article >
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