Understanding Human Motivation: Fear of Rejection

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Understanding Human Motivation: Fear of Rejection

All human behaviour is motivated by various combinations of desire, fear and anger.

This blog focuses on a particular fear that motivates many people: The fear of rejection.

Many people don't attempt to achieve their goals because of the fear of rejection they may suffer, if they were to try, but fail.

So, they don't even try.

Why is the fear of rejection so strong in some people?

The fear of rejection is strong because humans are social animals, which means we survive in groups, not as individuals.

For millions of years of our evolutionary history, if any individual were rejected - banished and expelled from the family or group, forced to try to survive alone - then that would amount to a virtual death sentence.

Consequently, we have evolved to be acutely sensitive of our position within our family, or social group.

Subconsciously we feel that acceptance from the family, or group, is essential - rejection may mean danger and even death.

This leads to people being afraid to do things that could result in rejection: Salespeople don't make sales calls, people don't enter competitions they would like to win, nor submit applications for jobs they would like to do, all because of the fear of rejection.

On the other hand, some people will do almost anything, however weird or unlawful, in order to gain the acceptance of the gang or "The Family", which is why some "good kids" do bad things.

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

Fortunately, humans are equipped with an advanced brain which allows them to override primitive instincts motivated by primitive emotions such as fear, anger and desire.

We can use our logical reason to override the irrational fears of rejection, because humans are no longer operating in a context of hunter-gathers surviving in small groups of individuals.

We live in communities of millions and so, you don't need to court the favours of any particular gang or family.

You can live life on your own terms.

About the Author: Chris Farmer

Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.

Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.

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Further Reading in Motivation

• Project Fear
  Project fear is motivating people by using the emotion of fear to get people to act in a certain way.
  Read Article >
• How to Motivate Someone to Change
  Many people dislike change and will do anything to avoid it. Motivating someone to change can be difficult, but the Pleasure/Plain Questioning Technique is a brilliant way to help motivate people to change. It's all about asking the right questions!
  Read Article >
• How to Gain Respect
  Respect cannot be demanded, it must be earned. Which of these character traits could you improve upon, in order to gain more respect?
  Read Article >
• Feed Your Brain the Right Thoughts
  You are guided by your thoughts. But who decides your thoughts? You do! If you want to achieve better results, then you must take control of the thoughts that occupy your mind. Overcome your self-doubts and fears.
  Read Article >
• Give Yourself Positive Feedback
  Giving yourself positive feedback is the art of recognising when you have done a good job, and remembering to praise yourself. This promotes a good self-image. A good self-image is important because it is the basis of a healthy personality.
  Read Article >

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