Understanding Human Motivation: Fear of Rejection

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Understanding Human Motivation: Fear of Rejection

All human behaviour is motivated by various combinations of desire, fear and anger.

This blog focuses on a particular fear that motivates many people: The fear of rejection.

Many people don't attempt to achieve their goals because of the fear of rejection they may suffer, if they were to try, but fail.

So, they don't even try.

Why is the fear of rejection so strong in some people?

The fear of rejection is strong because humans are social animals, which means we survive in groups, not as individuals.

For millions of years of our evolutionary history, if any individual were rejected - banished and expelled from the family or group, forced to try to survive alone - then that would amount to a virtual death sentence.

Consequently, we have evolved to be acutely sensitive of our position within our family, or social group.

Subconsciously we feel that acceptance from the family, or group, is essential - rejection may mean danger and even death.

This leads to people being afraid to do things that could result in rejection: Salespeople don't make sales calls, people don't enter competitions they would like to win, nor submit applications for jobs they would like to do, all because of the fear of rejection.

On the other hand, some people will do almost anything, however weird or unlawful, in order to gain the acceptance of the gang or "The Family", which is why some "good kids" do bad things.

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

Fortunately, humans are equipped with an advanced brain which allows them to override primitive instincts motivated by primitive emotions such as fear, anger and desire.

We can use our logical reason to override the irrational fears of rejection, because humans are no longer operating in a context of hunter-gathers surviving in small groups of individuals.

We live in communities of millions and so, you don't need to court the favours of any particular gang or family.

You can live life on your own terms.

About the Author: Chris Farmer

Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.

Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.

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Further Reading in Motivation

• How to Handle Uncertainty About the Future
  Uncertainty slows progress. But even in uncertain times we must learn to adapt and move forward, or risk being left behind. Learn how to handle uncertainty and you will continue to make progress.
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• Understanding Human Motivation: Fear of Rejection
  The fear of rejection can stop people from applying for their dream job, simply because of the fear of failure. Learn how to overcome this irrational fear and live life on your terms.
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• Six Scientifically Proven Ways to Motivate People at Work
  Keeping staff motivated is important to keeping your business efficient and productive and to avoid high staff turnover. Make your organisation a place where people want to work with these proven ways to motivate people.
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• Motivational Emotions
  Motivation comes in many forms: some positive and some negative. Which of these three motivational emotions do you think are the most effective: fear, anger or desire?
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• How to Stay Motivated During Lockdown
  Fed-up being on lockdown? It won't last forever, but in the meantime, here are some ways to stay motivated and make the most of this unique situation.
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