How can I Make People Like Me?
How Can I Make People Like Me?
Here are ten ways to make people like you:
- Ask questions about the other person, to encourage them to talk about themselves.
- Find topics of conversation that the other person knows a lot about; and try to learn from them.
- When you are talking, talk optimistically about the future.
- Don't complain, bitch, or moan about anything or anyone.
- Find things about the other person, which you HONESTLY admire and comment on it.
- Smile often and easily: And if it's funny, laugh out loud.
- If you do happen to disagree with the other, don't make an issue of it.
- Be honest and trustworthy in all your dealings with other people.
- Act as if your main mission in life is to help other people.
- Ultimately, you are judged by your actions. So, only say and do nice things.
1. Ask questions about the other person, to encourage them to talk about themselves.
Remember that people are more interested in themselves than they are in you. Use that fact.
Make the conversation more interesting for them (and easier) for you, by asking the person questions about what they think. Resist the temptation to keep talking about what you think.
People will like you more if you listen to what they have to say.
2. Find topics of conversation that other person knows a lot about; try to learn from them.
Everyone is an expert in something.
If you can identify the other persons "area of excellence" and ask the person to tell you more about it, you will tap into the other persons desire to be regarded as "knowledgeable".
If you make the other person feel knowledgeable, then they will love you for that feeling.
3. When you are talking, talk optimistically about the future.
Nobody likes a grump.
Everyone likes to feel optimistic about the future.
If you can make the future seem less fearful and more attractive, then YOU will seem to be more attractive and more likeable.
4. Don't complain, bitch, or moan about anything or anyone.
Nobody wants to spend their time listening to you complaining about other people, your poor health, or the traffic, or the political economy.
Nobody likes a grump, so don't be a grump.
5. Find things about the other person, which you can HONESTLY admire and comment on it.
People love to be admired. But people hate to be patronised.
So, it important to find something about the other person that you can HONESTLY admire, and then to make a nice comment on it.
The honest expression of admiration will make you a very attractive and likeable person.
6. Smile often and easily: And if it's funny, laugh out loud.
Smile and laugh often. People like happiness. So try to communicate happiness.
7. If you do happen disagree with someone, don't make an issue of it.
Simply say "I understand your point. That's very interesting, I've never thought of it like that before".
Unless you have to, don't argue needlessly over differing opinions. Don't tell the other person they are wrong. If you disagree with the other person, then use the above suggested phrase and let the disagreement pass without further comment.
8. Be honest and trustworthy in all your dealings with other people.
You are what you habitually do.
If you want to be liked, you must be likeable. And that means being honest and trustworthy. Nobody likes dishonesty. Nobody likes untrustworthy people.
Be honest and trustworthy and earn their love and respect.
9. Act as if your main mission in life is to help other people.
You will be liked to the degree to which you act in likeable ways.
If you assume that your mission here on earth was to help others to achieve their goals, and to feel good about themselves, then you will be liked and loved, and you will live long and prosper.
10. Ultimately, you are judged by your actions.
So, only say and do nice things.
Definition: Likeability
Likeability is a quality in personal effectiveness that stands on four habits: you show real interest in others by asking and listening; you keep talk upbeat and free of complaints; you act with honesty and keep your word; and you offer help and honest praise. Take away any habit and likeability fades.
Show CG4D Definition
- Shows genuine interest in others through questions and listening
- Speaks with optimism and avoids complaints
- Acts with honesty and keeps promises
- Offers help and sincere praise through kind actions
Article Summary
People like you when you focus on them: ask, listen, learn, speak with hope, skip complaints, give honest praise, smile, respect views, keep your word and act to help; these ten simple habits turn everyday chats into strong bonds.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some questions that frequently get asked about this topic during our training sessions.
What is the quickest way to make people like me?
How do I open a chat that keeps others engaged?
Why does a positive attitude make me more likeable?
What harm does constant complaining do to my social skills?
Does smiling really make people like me more?
How can I disagree without losing likeability?
What daily habit best grows trust and likeability?
Thought of something that's not been answered? Ask Us Today!
Did You Know: Key Statistics
The 2023 LinkedIn Workplace Learning Report found that 89% of UK hiring managers rate strong communication and people skills as the most important factor for career success, ahead of technical ability. Gallup’s 2022 State of the Workplace survey showed that teams marked by high trust and open communication record 23% higher profitability and 18% higher productivity than low-trust teams.About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years' experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
Blogs by Email
Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!
Further Reading in Personal Effectiveness
-
Actualising Potential: The Power of Purposeful Practice
Discover how purposeful practice, clear goals and feedback turn talent into mastery. Build mental resilience and unlock potential through focused daily effort.
Read Article > -
Better Emotional Intelligence Training
Learn how emotional intelligence training helps you control thoughts, manage emotions and guide talks to goals. Join our one-day course or try the free EQ quiz.
Read Article > -
The Memory Palace Technique
Learn the Memory Palace, a proven method of loci that turns facts into vivid images. Our clear guide helps you improve memory, recall faster and aid study.
Read Article > -
Why Self-Discipline Matters for Success
Learn why self-discipline fuels personal success. Discover proven tips to set goals, manage time, beat procrastination and build lasting habits that stick.
Read Article > -
What does it take to Develop Personal Effectiveness?
Learn how self discipline, daily habits and a positive mind lift personal effectiveness. Follow quick steps to avoid delay, set high standards and progress.
Read Article >
Looking for Personal Development Training?
If you're looking to develop your Personal Effectiveness Skills, you may find this Personal Development Training Course beneficial:
Open Training Course Pricing and Availability
Next Open Course Starts in 10 days, Birmingham, places available