How to Change Someone's Mind
How to Change Someone's Mind
If you want to change someone's mind, you need to be clear what you mean by that phrase.
It could mean one of two things.
- Change what someone thinks is true.
- Change someone's behaviour.
1. Change what someone thinks is true
If you want to change someone's belief about what is true, then your best bet is to NOT challenge the belief itself. Instead, question the source of the information that led to the belief.
For example, if he believes in socialism, do NOT criticise socialism directly. If you do, then he will defend socialism. And, in defending his idea, he will come to believe it even more.
Instead, ask him, where did (s)he get the idea from?
Every idea in your head, you got from somewhere. Rather than challenge ideas, question the validity of their source.
Ask questions such as, "Who told you that?"
Or "Where did you get that idea from?".
Or "Where did that idea originate?"
When you ask this question, you change the status of the idea from "a fact" to "something that someone once said, or wrote". The power of the idea is reduced.
It is no longer "a Fact"; only, "Something that someone once said, or wrote".
If you identify the source of an idea, then you can begin to go to work to question the validity of its source. This is a subtler challenge than a full-frontal challenge on the main idea.
Your technique is to question the source and the reliability of the idea.
When you have undermined the source, then it is up to you to suggest an alternative idea and name your source of the new idea.
The conversation would go like this:
"I believe in the redistribution of wealth by taxation."
"Where did you get that idea from?"
"It is a doctrine of socialist politics. I learned about politics in college."
"Where did your college teachers get the idea from?"
"Originally the socialism comes from Karl Marx."
"Karl Marx died broke and penniless and in debt to his friend Frederick Engles. Why do you rely on the economic ideas of a man who died broke and penniless and in debt to his friends?"
Don't Challenge Ideas Directly
The point I want to make is:
If you challenge their ideas directly, they will defend their ideas vigorously.
You won't shift them.
So, challenge ideas indirectly.
If you challenge directly, then they will fight you.
If you challenge the source of their belief, then they will find it harder to fight you.
2. Change someone's behaviour
I will be discussing this part of changing someone's behaviour in a forthcoming blog!
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Definition: Source-questioning technique
Source-questioning technique is a way used in business talks to change what people think without a fight. The speaker asks where the idea came from, moves the talk to how sound that source is, keeps a calm tone, and then offers a new view backed by a trusted source.
Show CG4D Definition
- Starts by asking the listener to name the origin of their belief
- Tests the strength and trustworthiness of that named source
- Keeps the discussion away from a direct attack on the belief itself
- Ends by presenting a replacement belief linked to a more credible source
Article Summary
The quickest way to change someone's mind is not to fight the idea itself but to ask where it came from; when the source seems shaky, the belief loosens and a new view can take its place.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some questions that frequently get asked about this topic during our training sessions.
Why should I question a belief's source instead of arguing the idea?
What questions expose where a belief came from?
How does source credibility affect persuasion?
What is the ‘source-questioning technique’?
Does challenging ideas directly ever work?
How can I apply this approach at work?
Is changing behaviour the same as changing beliefs?
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Did You Know: Key Statistics
The 2024 Deloitte Global Marketing Trends report shows that 68% of consumers change their view after hearing the same idea from a source they see as highly credible. A 2024 study in the Journal of Applied Psychology shows that indirect questioning leads to a 47% bigger shift in attitude than a direct challenge.About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years' experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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