Building Rapport
Building Rapport
Communication skills training
Have you ever met someone who seems to be able to "connect" with everyone?
Have you noticed how people like this are more effective in their role?
Life seems to be easier for them, doesn't it?
This ability to connect with others is called Rapport.
Creating rapport is one of the most valuable skills you can learn.
Would you like to discover some secrets that will allow you to produce the same rapport in your own life?
What is rapport?
Rapport is a feeling of harmonious understanding.
It is also a feeling of mutual trust and friendship.
Rapport is something that you value, but also something you may sometimes find elusive.
You instinctively know when you are in rapport.
When rapport is missing, you can feel it.
The most interesting question however is;
How do you know when you are in rapport?
Rapport is a special form of communication.
In order for your subconscious mind to know that now is the time to feel rapport with someone, there must be something happening during the communication between you and your listener.
What is that "something"?
You know that rapport is a form of communication.
You also know that communication is built up primarily of three elements:
- Physiology - your body language
- Tonality - the pitch volume and rate of your speech
- Words - the words and ideas that you are using to express yourself
Rapport has elements of these three processes.
Like likes like
Isn't it true that we tend to like people who share our beliefs, interests, attitudes backgrounds, religion, or social class?
In other words,
We like those who are like ourselves.
How can you use the processes of communication to build a feeling of "likeness"?
You know that much of your communication comes from your body language and voice tonality.
Therefore, if you make your body language and tonality similar to the person you are communicating with, you will deliver a powerful unconscious message to him which says "I am like you......"
In other words, you will begin to build rapport- even if the words you speak are in disagreement.
Let's examine how we can match other people and gain Rapport.
Look...
Look closely at the other person's body language and physiology. Specifically observe their:
- Posture
- Appearance
- Gesture
- Eye contact
- Facial expression
- Breathing rate
For example
If the other person is energetic, animated and very mobile as they speak, and you are sitting down, immobile and passive, as you speak, then can you see there is a mismatch of the intensity of communication style?
On the other hand, if the other person is energetic, animated and very mobile as he speaks, and you therefore sit up straighter and begin to animate your own body language a little to reflect him, then can you see there is more of a match in the intensity of communication style.
If you want to build a rapport with the other person, then try to match the person's general posture, rate of gestures and expressions. If you do only this, then you will begin to create higher levels of rapport.
Listen....
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Listen carefully to the way the other person speaks: specifically pay attention to their:
- Volume
- Rhythm
- Speed
- Pitch
Try to match some or all of these elements.
For example:
If the other person speaks quickly you might speed up in your own speech.
If the other person speaks loudly then you might speak a little louder too.
Pay attention.....
Pay attention to the phrases and style of language. Does this person speak:
- Using slang?
- Does he use metaphors?
- Does he use humour?
To a degree, try to reflect his style and you will begin to create rapport even if the content of what you are saying is in disagreement.
In summary
To gain rapport, match the communication style of the other person.
Match the communication style by:
- Matching his body language: his posture, gestures and other nonverbal elements of communication.
- Match his tonality; His voice speed, volume, pitch and rhythm.
- Match his choice of language patterns.
Please note that you do not have to agree with what he says to remain in rapport.
Put this to use
Make a decision to begin matching the communication styles of those around you.
You will have to be ready to become very flexible in your behaviour.
In return you will begin to experience new results. You will begin to experience the power and the magic of being a Rapport Builder.
For more information about communication skills training visit the Corporate Coach Group website
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About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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