Established, since 1997, leading UK based training provider.
Celebrating 25 years in business! CPD Member - The CPD Certification Service ilm Recognised Provider

Building Rapport

Building Rapport

Building Rapport

Communication skills training

Have you ever met someone who seems to be able to "connect" with everyone?
Have you noticed how people like this are more effective in their role?

Life seems to be easier for them, doesn't it?

This ability to connect with others is called Rapport.

Creating rapport is one of the most valuable skills you can learn.

Would you like to discover some secrets that will allow you to produce the same rapport in your own life?

What is rapport?

Rapport is a feeling of harmonious understanding.
It is also a feeling of mutual trust and friendship.

Rapport is something that you value, but also something you may sometimes find elusive.
You instinctively know when you are in rapport.

When rapport is missing, you can feel it.

The most interesting question however is;
How do you know when you are in rapport?

Rapport is a special form of communication.
In order for your subconscious mind to know that now is the time to feel rapport with someone, there must be something happening during the communication between you and your listener.

What is that "something"?

You know that rapport is a form of communication.
You also know that communication is built up primarily of three elements:

  1. Physiology - your body language
  2. Tonality - the pitch volume and rate of your speech
  3. Words - the words and ideas that you are using to express yourself

Rapport has elements of these three processes.

Like likes like
Isn't it true that we tend to like people who share our beliefs, interests, attitudes backgrounds, religion, or social class?

In other words,
We like those who are like ourselves.

How can you use the processes of communication to build a feeling of "likeness"?

You know that much of your communication comes from your body language and voice tonality.

Therefore, if you make your body language and tonality similar to the person you are communicating with, you will deliver a powerful unconscious message to him which says "I am like you......"

In other words, you will begin to build rapport- even if the words you speak are in disagreement.

Let's examine how we can match other people and gain Rapport.


Look closely at the other person's body language and physiology. Specifically observe their:

  1. Posture
  2. Appearance
  3. Gesture
  4. Eye contact
  5. Facial expression
  6. Breathing rate

For example
If the other person is energetic, animated and very mobile as they speak, and you are sitting down, immobile and passive, as you speak, then can you see there is a mismatch of the intensity of communication style?

On the other hand, if the other person is energetic, animated and very mobile as he speaks, and you therefore sit up straighter and begin to animate your own body language a little to reflect him, then can you see there is more of a match in the intensity of communication style.

If you want to build a rapport with the other person, then try to match the person's general posture, rate of gestures and expressions. If you do only this, then you will begin to create higher levels of rapport.


Communication Skills Training Communication Skills Training Course Logo

Communication Skills Training

Do you ever think to yourself, "I know what I mean, but I can't explain it"? You need to be able communicate facts, feelings, information and ideas, in a clear, professional and confident manner. If you want to learn more about our communication skills training, please click here.

Listen carefully to the way the other person speaks: specifically pay attention to their:

  1. Volume
  2. Rhythm
  3. Speed
  4. Pitch

Try to match some or all of these elements.

For example:
If the other person speaks quickly you might speed up in your own speech.
If the other person speaks loudly then you might speak a little louder too.

Pay attention.....
Pay attention to the phrases and style of language. Does this person speak:

  1. Using slang?
  2. Does he use metaphors?
  3. Does he use humour?

To a degree, try to reflect his style and you will begin to create rapport even if the content of what you are saying is in disagreement.

In summary
To gain rapport, match the communication style of the other person.

Match the communication style by:

  1. Matching his body language: his posture, gestures and other nonverbal elements of communication.
  2. Match his tonality; His voice speed, volume, pitch and rhythm.
  3. Match his choice of language patterns.

Please note that you do not have to agree with what he says to remain in rapport.

Put this to use
Make a decision to begin matching the communication styles of those around you.
You will have to be ready to become very flexible in your behaviour.
In return you will begin to experience new results. You will begin to experience the power and the magic of being a Rapport Builder.

For more information about communication skills training visit the Corporate Coach Group website

FREE Training Needs Analysis Free Training Needs Analysis Logo

FREE Training Needs Analysis!

In order to get the best from your training, you need to discover your relative strengths and weaknesses. Take our FREE training needs analysis questionnaire now and get a report in less than five minutes!

About the Author: Chris Farmer


Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.

Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.

Blogs by Email

Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!

Further Reading in Communication - Persuasive Communication

  • The Power of Evaluative Questions
    Our emotional responses are largely dictated by our evaluation of situations. By asking the right type of questions you can cultivate a confident and problem-solving mind set.
    Read Article >
  • Gain the Co-operation of Others
    How you can talk to people in ways that are likely to trigger a positive emotional response and gain their co-operation.
    Read Article >
  • How to improve interpersonal communications skills
    How to improve interpersonal communications skills Here is an interesting question: "What makes some people more effective communicators than others?" Let us investigate! Communication is defined as "the transfer of information and-or emotion". Communication skills training is important because, in order to achieve your goals, you need to be able to...
    Read Article >
  • Ten Ways to Persuade Someone
    To be effective, we often need other people's co-operation. Sometimes you need to persuade someone that your idea is worth their time and effort. Here are ten persuasive tacts for you to try when persuasion is needed.
    Read Article >
  • Tips to Improve your communication skills
    Tips to improve your communication skills It's true, isn't it, that almost everyone would benefit if they improved their ability to communicate? Since, in order to achieve your goals, you need to gain the cooperative assistance of others, and since you are not telepathic, then you rely on your ability to...
    Read Article >

Looking for Communication Skills Training?

If you're looking to develop your Persuasive Communication Skills, you may find this Communication Skills Training Course beneficial:

Open Training Course Pricing and Availability

7 December
£475 +VAT
Course Full
13 December
Manchester City
£475 +VAT
18 December
London - Central
£475 +VAT
18 December
Online - Teams
£475 +VAT
Course Full
More dates and locations available
Save £50 on this course

Next Open Course Starts in 8 days, Manchester City, places available Book Now >