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Dispute Resolution

Dispute Resolution

Dispute Resolution

To resolve disputes, you might use:

  1. Persuasion - Convince the others to change their mind.
  2. Negotiation - Find practical solutions that are mutually beneficial to all parties.
  3. Coercion - "Do it or I will make your life a misery!"
  4. Force - The application of physical force or a threat to do so.
  5. No deal - Get away from the person or situation.

1. Persuasion.

By using persuasion to change the other person's mind, you convince them that your way of seeing things, is the correct and right way.

Alternatively, you convince them that their way of seeing things is incorrect, wrong or bad.

It is notoriously difficult to persuade people to change their mind about anything and since it is so difficult, your time may be better spent in negotiating.

2. Negotiating.

Negotiation is the act of finding a mutually agreeable position by finding the common ground between three fields.

  1. What you want.
  2. What the other wants.
  3. What is logically possible.

The phrase that you need to remember when negotiating is, "if - then".

  • If you do this for me, then I will do that for you.
  • If you give me this, then I will give you that.
  • If I do this, then you must do that.

Negotiating is the art of finding practical solutions that are mutually beneficial.

Negotiation is to be contrasted with coercion.

3. Coercion.

Coercion is inducing someone to do something by threatening to make their life miserable if they don't comply. Coercion presupposes that you can carry out the threat, (or at least the coerced person believes you can.)

We recommend you do not coerce people, because coercion induces resentment and fosters a desire for retribution.

Coercion is to be contrasted to force.

4. Force.

Force means the application of violence, or the threat of violence to make a person act in a particular way. Force means physical force.

Many people misuse this term, and claim they were forced to do something when in fact they were not forced.

For example, "I was forced to take a lower paid job, because nobody would pay me what I thought I was worth". The word "forced" here is being hijacked.

Force in a human context, relates to physical force being used.

For example, the police use forced to apprehend the criminal. They beat him to the ground, hand cuffed him and dragged him to the cells. This is force. That is why they are called, the police force.

Don't hijack the word, "forced". "I was forced to take a later plane because mine was delayed".

Here is the rule to remember: Except in self-defence, you must not use force, nor threaten, nor imply the use of force on anyone.

Instead of force you should use; persuasion, negotiation, coercion, or you could walk away.

5. No deal.

No deal means walk away, or even run away.

In some cases, no resolution is possible without using force, which you don't want to use. So, under these conditions, no deal is a good result.

Run away, walk away, have no more dealings with the other side. Instead, find someone else that you can deal with on proper terms.

Five ways to resolve disputes:

  1. Persuasion.
  2. Negotiation.
  3. Coercion.
  4. Force.
  5. No deal.

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