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How to Handle the Workplace Bully

How to Handle the Workplace Bully

How to handle the workplace bully.

Bullying is intended to intimidate the victim.

The bully may be bullying in the hope of achieving; compliance, deterrence, dominance, status or ego.

  1. Compliance. To induce somebody to do something.
  2. Deterrence. To prevent somebody from doing something.
  3. Dominance. To gain emotional power over another.
  4. Status. To show-off to an audience.
  5. Ego. To feed the bully's self-worth.

Bullying is a destructive form of communication and it needs to be dealt with quickly.

Handle the workplace bully by using the following method.

1. Refuse to give what the bully needs to survive. To survive, bullies need a "submissive response" from their victims. You should absolutely refuse to be submissive: You must NOT give the bully the submissive response he/she seeks.

2. Look the bully the eye and say the magic word, "No".

3. Remember, you always have a choice; to submit to the bully or not.

4. Remember also that with every choice comes a consequence of that choice. The consequence of submitting to bullies is that they are "paid-off" for bullying. (Psychologists call this "Reinforcing the bullying behaviour").

The consequences of saying NO to bullying and refusing to back-down is that the bully is not "paid off" (ie NOT Reinforced) and then the bullies will do two things in quick succession.

  • First, they will intensify their bullying behaviour and try to break your will to resist.
  • If that fails, they will go and find an easier target; someone who will not give them so much resistance and trouble.

Bullying can only be defeated by challenge.

You cannot stop bullying by trying to "win-over" the bully by giving concessions.

Giving concessions to bullies always fails because you are reinforcing the bullying behaviour and by demonstrating to the bully that bullying "works".

You must bite the bullet and deliver a clear message to the bully: that bullying tactics do NOT work, at least they do not work here, on you.

1. Refuse to offer a submissive response.

2. Gather your courage and learn to say "NO".

3. Expect the bully to intensify their bullying in an attempt to break your will.

4. Keep saying NO: Refuse to comply and refuse to "pay him off".

Once the bully understands you are not ever going to submit, they will move on to someone else, to ply his wares. And you will be free at last.

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