Communication Skills: Two Opposites

Important: GDPR Email Preferences

As you may already know, the EU General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) will be coming into effect on 25th May 2018. We take your privacy seriously and we are working hard to ensure we comply with the new data protection laws. You can find out more about how we're doing this in our privacy policy on our website.

We want to make sure you continue to receive the latest newsletters, blogs, special offers and more.

As someone who has opted-in to receive our emails in the past, we’d like to give you this opportunity to confirm what you wish to receive:

Just so you know, if you don’t let us know what kinds of emails you want to receive from us, we’ll stop emailing you on the 24th May 2018 - you'll be missing out!

You are of course free to change your mind at any time – just follow the link at the bottom of any of our emails.

Communication skills: Two Opposites

The definition of communication is "the transfer of information and emotion, from one mind to another".

The definition of "Excellent communication" is "the accurate transfer of information and emotion, from one mind to another, without error, omission or distortion of meaning."

The deadly enemy of excellent communication is vagueness or ambiguity in language. Ambiguity occurs whenever there is more than one possible, plausible interpretation for any given message.

Vagueness and ambiguity cause misunderstanding, and are, therefore, the deadly enemy of excellent communication. For example, does the sentence "I didn't say he kissed his wife," mean:

"I didn't say HE kissed his wife?" Or did it mean, "I didn't say he KISSED his wife". Or did it mean "I didn't say he kissed HIS wife".

You can see that ambiguity in language can be the cause of misunderstandings and conflicts. Any time that there is a word that has multiple meanings; you need to be on your guard for misinterpretation. (And that means; nearly all the time!)

I want to bring to your attention, an important example of a word with two meanings. Be especially wary of the fact that the word "opposite" has two different meanings.

The two meanings of "opposite" are:

• Opposite meaning; the contradictory opposite.
• Opposite meaning; the contrary opposite.

Communication Skills Training

Communication Skills Training

Do you ever think to yourself, "I know what I mean, but I can't explain it"? You need to be able communicate facts, feelings, information and ideas, in a clear, professional and confident manner. If you want to learn more about our communication skills training, please click here.

Most people don't know the difference between the two forms of opposition

1. Contradictory
2. Contrary

Do you know the difference?

IF not, then please keep reading....

• IF I said to you, "What is the opposite of north?", then you would probably say "south".
• IF I said to you, "What is the opposite of good?" You would probably say, bad, (or evil).
• IF I said to you, "What is the opposite of right?" You would probably say wrong, (or left).

All these are examples of the contrary form of opposition.

But you could have answered differently:

• If I said to you, "What is the opposite of north?", then you could have said "NOT north!"
• If I said to you, "What is the opposite of good?" You could have said NOT good.
• If I said to you, "What is the opposite of right?" You could have said NOT right.

This the contradictory form of opposition.

Here is the point:

• Try not to think in terms of contraries, (north/south type).
• Try to think, rather, in terms of contradictories (the NOT-NORTH type).

Question: Why is it better to think in terms of contradictory opposition, rather than contrary opposition?

Because; Contraries are divisive. Contraries tend to split the world into two polar opposites. Contraries are simplistic oppositions.

Examples of polar contraries:

• You are wrong, and I am right.
• It is black, or it is white.
• You are weak or you are strong.
• He is right or he is wrong.

But this is too simplistic.

• If you did not win, you are not necessarily "a loser". You are not a loser if you come fourth in the race.
• If you are not going north, it does not mean you must be going south.
• If you are not for me, it does not mean you are against me.

How many directions are there that are NOT north? Answer: there is infinity of directions that are not north.
How many directions are there that are the contrary of north? Only one: south.

Be very wary of the clown who talks in "contrary opposition pairs".

• Is it right or wrong?
• Is it black or white?
• Is it north or south?
• Is it good or bad?

Can you see how the above method of thinking can be more divisive and polarising? It causes unnecessary division by oversimplification.

Think more in terms of contradictories; ask instead:

• Is it right or not?
• Is it black or not?
• Are we heading north or not north?
• Is it a good use of time, or not?

Contradictory opposition breaks the world into its many directions, many colours and many opinions. It avoids the problem of polarisation. And Contradictory opposition maintains the clarity of the concept. Contradictory opposition is a more creative way of looking at opposition.

Here is the point to remember:

Try not to ask contrary opposition questions such as:

• Am I right or wrong?
• Is it black or white?
• Is it north or south?
• Is it good or bad?

Try instead to use contradictory opposition:

• Am I right or not?
• Is it black or not?
• Are we heading north or not north?
• Is it a good use of time, or not?

Remember that:

• Contradictory opposition: is good!
• Contrary opposition; is not as good.

FREE Training Needs Analysis

FREE Training Needs Analysis!

In order to get the best from your training, you need to discover your relative strengths and weaknesses. Take our FREE training needs analysis questionnaire now and get a report in less than five minutes!

About the Author: Chris Farmer

Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.

Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.

Blogs by Email

Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!

Further Reading in Communication - Clear Communication

• How To Take Constructive Criticism
  Feedback is vital for personal and professional development. Learn how to take constructive criticism in your stride with Corporate Coach Group.
  Read Article >
• Muhammad Ali: The Greatest Speaker in the World.
  Muhammad Ali was gifted. Gifted as a sportsman, as a speaker, as a writer, as a poet and as a politician.
  Read Article >
• Why is Communication Skills Training Important?
  Good communication is a key skill needed by people in every organisation to build good staff rapport and avoid misunderstandings. By attending communication skills training you become aware of what areas you could develop.
  Read Article >
• Communication Skills Training: Objective and Subjective Language
  Objective and Subjective Language It is important to distinguish between two kinds of language: Objective language and subjective language. Every day you experience your "personal experience". You have to experience YOUR experience of an event. But isn't it true that YOUR experience of an event, may be very different to the...
  Read Article >
• The Most Important Question
  Many people speak in vague terms, or they don’t make themselves clear, so don't be afraid to ask them for clarification. It is dangerous to guess their meaning; ask the all important question before jumping to conclusions.
  Read Article >

Looking for Communication Skills Training?

If you're looking to develop your Clear Communication Skills, you may find this Communication Skills Training Course beneficial:

Open Training Course Pricing and Availability

Next Open Course Starts in 4 days, Online - Teams, places available Book Now >