Communication Skills: Two Opposites
Communication skills: Two Opposites
The definition of communication is "the transfer of information and emotion, from one mind to another".
The definition of "Excellent communication" is "the accurate transfer of information and emotion, from one mind to another, without error, omission or distortion of meaning."
The deadly enemy of excellent communication is vagueness or ambiguity in language. Ambiguity occurs whenever there is more than one possible, plausible interpretation for any given message.
Vagueness and ambiguity cause misunderstanding, and are, therefore, the deadly enemy of excellent communication. For example, does the sentence "I didn't say he kissed his wife," mean:
"I didn't say HE kissed his wife?" Or did it mean, "I didn't say he KISSED his wife". Or did it mean "I didn't say he kissed HIS wife".
You can see that ambiguity in language can be the cause of misunderstandings and conflicts. Any time that there is a word that has multiple meanings; you need to be on your guard for misinterpretation. (And that means; nearly all the time!)
I want to bring to your attention, an important example of a word with two meanings. Be especially wary of the fact that the word "opposite" has two different meanings.
The two meanings of "opposite" are:
- Opposite meaning; the contradictory opposite.
- Opposite meaning; the contrary opposite.
Most people don't know the difference between the two forms of opposition
- Contradictory
- Contrary
Do you know the difference?
IF not, then please keep reading....
- IF I said to you, "What is the opposite of north?", then you would probably say "south".
- IF I said to you, "What is the opposite of good?" You would probably say, bad, (or evil).
- IF I said to you, "What is the opposite of right?" You would probably say wrong, (or left).
All these are examples of the contrary form of opposition.
But you could have answered differently:
- If I said to you, "What is the opposite of north?", then you could have said "NOT north!"
- If I said to you, "What is the opposite of good?" You could have said NOT good.
- If I said to you, "What is the opposite of right?" You could have said NOT right.
This the contradictory form of opposition.
Here is the point:
- Try not to think in terms of contraries, (north/south type).
- Try to think, rather, in terms of contradictories (the NOT-NORTH type).
Question: Why is it better to think in terms of contradictory opposition, rather than contrary opposition?
Because; Contraries are divisive. Contraries tend to split the world into two polar opposites. Contraries are simplistic oppositions.
Examples of polar contraries:
- You are wrong, and I am right.
- It is black, or it is white.
- You are weak or you are strong.
- He is right or he is wrong.
But this is too simplistic.
- If you did not win, you are not necessarily "a loser". You are not a loser if you come fourth in the race.
- If you are not going north, it does not mean you must be going south.
- If you are not for me, it does not mean you are against me.
How many directions are there that are NOT north? Answer: there is infinity of directions that are not north.
How many directions are there that are the contrary of north? Only one: south.
Be very wary of the clown who talks in "contrary opposition pairs".
- Is it right or wrong?
- Is it black or white?
- Is it north or south?
- Is it good or bad?
Can you see how the above method of thinking can be more divisive and polarising? It causes unnecessary division by oversimplification.
Think more in terms of contradictories; ask instead:
- Is it right or not?
- Is it black or not?
- Are we heading north or not north?
- Is it a good use of time, or not?
Contradictory opposition breaks the world into its many directions, many colours and many opinions. It avoids the problem of polarisation. And Contradictory opposition maintains the clarity of the concept. Contradictory opposition is a more creative way of looking at opposition.
Here is the point to remember:
Try not to ask contrary opposition questions such as:
- Am I right or wrong?
- Is it black or white?
- Is it north or south?
- Is it good or bad?
Try instead to use contradictory opposition:
- Am I right or not?
- Is it black or not?
- Are we heading north or not north?
- Is it a good use of time, or not?
Remember that:
- Contradictory opposition: is good!
- Contrary opposition; is not as good.
Blogs by Email
Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!
Further Reading in Communication - Clear Communication
-
Delivering Effective Customer Service
Customers are more demanding and less tolerant of poor service than they used to be. Therefore, it is essential that your organisation gives customer service great importance, and that staff are suitably trained in the key customer service skills.
Read Article > -
16 Ways You Can Use Questions
Asking questions is the key to good communication. Take a look at the ways in which you can use questions to promote discussion, direct a conversation, inspire positivity and much more.
Read Article > -
How can I make my communications skills better?
How can I improve my communications skills? To a certain degree, your success is linked to your ability to communicate. If your communication skills are strong and you can easily express every idea and piece of information that you have, then you will be more convincing and persuasive. If you are...
Read Article > -
What is the Conversation Cycle?
Conversations involve the sharing of information, ideas and opinions. Each person in the conversation must have the opportunity to inform, invite, listen and acknowledge to complete the conversation cycle.
Read Article > -
Communication Skills: ABC Principle
Making sure that people understand your message is important, and there are three ways you can make this happen: By being accurate, being brief and being clear. We call this the ABC principle.
Read Article >
Looking for Communication Skills Training?
If you're looking to develop your Clear Communication Skills, you may find this Communication Skills Training Course beneficial:
Open Training Course Pricing and Availability
Next Open Course Starts in 8 days, Birmingham, places available