The Nlp Meta Model - Clear Thinking, Clear Communication
The NLP Meta Model: Clear Thinking, Clear Communication
The NLP Meta Model is a tool used in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) to help us understand and clarify the way we think and talk. In daily conversations, people often make mistakes that can lead to confusion or misunderstandings. These mistakes fall into three main categories: Deletions, Distortions, and Generalisations. The Meta Model helps us identify these mistakes and ask the right questions to get to the root of what someone truly means.
The beauty of the Meta Model is that it is a systematic and learnable way to ask probing questions. By learning how to ask these questions, we can uncover missing information, correct misleading thoughts, and break down assumptions.
Deletions: Filling in the Missing Gaps
In conversations, people often leave out important details, either because they think it's obvious or they want to keep things short. This is where deletions come in. When we delete parts of information, we create gaps that need to be filled.
- How do you know? - If someone says, "Germans lack a sense of humour," you can ask, "How do you know?" This requires them to explain how they know this.
- Challenge Comparisons - If someone says, "It is very small," ask, "Compared to what?" This pushes the person to explain the comparison.
- Unspecified Subjects - When someone says, "They always mess up the order," ask, "Who is 'they'?" This brings clarity to the discussion.
- Unspecified Verbs - If someone says, "I need to improve my results," ask, "Exactly how will you improve them?" This challenges vague verbs and clarifies the action.
Distortions: Correcting Faulty Thinking
Distortions happen when our mind changes its description of reality without us realising it. We may exaggerate or oversimplify situations. By spotting distortions, we can correct our thinking and find the truth.
- Nominalisations - When actions (verbs) turn into things (nouns). For example, "There's a lot of anger." You can ask, "Who is angry about what?"
- Cause and Effect - If someone says, "I failed because I'm not smart enough," ask, "What else could have caused the failure?"
- Mind Reading - If someone says, "You think I'm lazy," ask, "How do you know what I'm thinking?"
- Complex Equivalence - If someone says, "You didn't answer my call, so you must be angry with me," ask, "How does not answering mean I'm angry?"
- Passive Voice - If someone says, "Mistakes were made," ask, "Who made the mistakes?"
Generalisations: Breaking Down Personal Rules
Generalisations occur when people create broad rules based on limited experiences. These rules are often unfair or untrue but are treated as if they apply universally.
- Universal Statements - Words like "always," "never," or "everyone" are common examples. If someone says, "You always forget everything!" ask, "Always?"
- Necessity and Impossibility - If someone says, "I must finish by 3 PM," ask, "What would happen if you didn't?"
- Questioning Assumptions - If someone says, "Why am I so unlucky?" ask, "Who says you're unlucky?"
The Power of the Meta Model in Daily Life
By understanding these common errors in thinking and communication, you can use the Meta Model to improve both how you speak and how you listen. When you ask the right Meta Model questions, you challenge assumptions, clarify thoughts, uncover missing elements, and validate presumptions.
About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
Blogs by Email
Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!
Further Reading in Communication - Clear Communication
-
Communication Skills Training (Advanced)
Recognising arbitrary statements Communication is a vital skill to master. You can define the term "Communication" as: "the transfer of information, from one mind to another." And you could define "excellent communication" as: The accurate transfer of information, from one mind to another, without error, omission, distortion". Excellent communication is no...
Read Article > -
Communication: Negotiation Skills
Every organisation has to trade successfully with others and being able to negotiate skillfully is vital to your success. Negotiation skills training will enable your team to agree the best possible outcome from any negotiation situation.
Read Article > -
Ten Top Tips For Sending Professional Calendar Meeting Invites
To ensure your meetings are well attended and productive, you need to ensure that your meeting invitations are professional. These tips will help you to clearly communicate the purpose of the meeting and help attendees prepare.
Read Article > -
Mastering the Art of Conversing Knowledgeably on Unfamiliar Topics
Learn to discuss unfamiliar topics adeptly with a five-step approach, avoiding uninformed statements while engaging in knowledgeable conversations.
Read Article > -
The Importance of Communication Skills
Use these three simple tips, to make sure that you communicate your message to others, in such a way as to gain their co-operation and agreement.
Read Article >
Looking for Communication Skills Training?
If you're looking to develop your Clear Communication Skills, you may find this Communication Skills Training Course beneficial:
Open Training Course Pricing and Availability
Next Open Course Starts in 4 days, Preston, places available