Communication Methods

Methods of Communication

Communications skills training is mostly concerned with the proper use of language.

The degree of your communication skills and your use of language can even determine how successful you will be.
Those people who are training their communications skills and therefore, can more effectively handle words do far better than those with few communications skills who are therefore inarticulate, inexpressive and illiterate.
If you were to devote some time to additional communications skills training, then this investment would repay you a thousand times. Why?

Because if you are anything like the rest of humanity, then you may have the following situation:

1. You are NOT getting all of what you DO want, AND
2. You ARE getting some of what you DON'T want.

There are many reasons for that: These reasons fall into two categories:
Group one: Reasons that are emanating from outside of you and are not caused by you. You cannot change these.

Group two: The reasons that ARE emanating from inside of you and ARE caused by you. You can and should change these.

One of the causes of your problems is HOW you word some of your messages.

NOTE the following:

You sometime pepper your message with words and phrases that are:

1. Highly subjective
2. Highly emotional
3. Highly evaluative

These words and phrases are RED RAG phrases to others.
They trigger a negative emotional response in others.
It may be that you are triggering negative emotional responses in others around you.[communication Banner]

Examples of red rag language: Calling other people: "In-appropriate, unprofessional, prejudiced; selfish; unfair".

Sometimes, you account for the behaviour of others, by claiming knowledge of the other person's motives and thought process: this is knowledge which you do not have.

Example:
"Obviously John said that because he feels threatened by my abilities and wants to make me look bad in front of Roger".

In addition:
You sometimes distort what you actually hear and respond emotionally to what you think they mean.

The truth is that:

1. You sometimes use too much emotive language
2. You sometimes claim knowledge of other peoples thinking
3. You sometimes inaccurately put words into the mouth of the person you are debating with

You sometimes fail to gain the results you need to get from other people because you sometimes fail to use your language skills to your own advantage.

I suggest that you do the opposite, specifically:

1. When you are unhappy: use objective language (non-emotionalised, non-opinionated factual language).
2. Refrain from assuming that you know "what they are thinking".
3. You should try to listen more carefully to what people ACTUALLY say; Respond only to that.
4. Do not translate it into what you think they might mean.

Your major goal in life is to succeed:

In order to do that you must gain the cooperation of others.
You are having trouble gaining all the cooperation you need PARTLY because of the points listed above.