Reason Vs Excuse

Reason vs Excuse

Here is an important rule of thumb: Clear thought is good. Confused thought is bad.

The first step to wisdom is to have an accurate conception of things. Unfortunately, there is a series of "similar but opposite things" - dichotomies - that confuse the mind.

Dichotomies confuse the mind because their two branches seem to be intermingled.

Examples of such dichotomies are:

• Reason vs Excuse
• Determined vs Stubborn
• Fact vs Opinion
• Insult vs Criticism

It is important to distinguish between a "reason" and an "excuse".

It's good to be determined but not stubborn.

Learn to separate facts from opinions.

It is important to distinguish between a criticism and an insult.

Don't take valid criticism as a personal insult, and don't insult people and then pretend that it was merely "constructive criticism".

So what is the difference between these dichotomies?

Reason vs Excuse

Reason: A reason for not doing something.

If someone offers an explanation for why he can't do something, then, in order for it to be judged as a reason, it should be: logical, factual, verifiable, a one-off event, unavoidable, and commensurate.

Excuse: If someone offers an explanation why he can't do something, then, if it is judged to be false (a lie), illogical, un-verifiable, multiple use of the same old story, inconsistent, avoidable, foreseeable, disproportionate. Example: I can't come into work today because my hamster is sick.

Determined vs Stubborn

Determined: Determined means committed to the goal: no matter what temporary defeats you suffer, you keep adapting the plan and trying again.

Stubborn: Stubborn means committed to the one PLAN: no matter what temporary defeats you suffer, you keep doing the same thing over and over and refuse to change or adapt the plan.

Fact vs Opinion

Fact: A fact is information provided by direct sense perception (what you directly see, touch, hear, taste or smell) ie the redness of a tomato.

And/or the information that has been tested and verified by objective and independent experimentation and scientific investigation. ie the Earth has the shape of an oblate spheroid.

Opinion: Information that is gained by any other means: ie gut feel; majority vote, subjective feeling, revelations or wishful thinking.

Example: Modern art is not real art.

Don't get facts and opinions mixed up!

Insult vs Criticism

Insult: An insult is a feedback message that is: vague, subjective, opinionated. And does not suggest a specific corrective action.

Example: You are an idiot.

Insults are of no value to you or your organisation.

Criticism: A criticism is the opposite.

A criticism is a feedback message that is: Specific, factual, objective and does suggest a corrective action.
Example: You are twenty minutes late for the meeting. That is five times you been late this month alone. You need to be on time for meetings.

Criticism is of the highest value to you and your organisation.

Don't get criticism and insults mixed up!

The art of distinguishing between two similar concepts.

See how many dichotomies you can identify and define the distinguishing characteristics that make one good, and the other bad.

Here are some more dichotomies for you to ponder:

A false statement and a lie

A lady once said to me "Either you accept what I say as being true, or you are calling me a liar!"

What is wrong with this false dichotomy?

Critical thinker and Cynic

Do you know people who believe they are critical thinkers, but actually they are only miserable cynics?

If you do know some cynics, then what is it that defines them as cynics, not as critics?

Don't get critics and cynics mixed up!

Understanding and Agreement

Have you ever made an agreement based on a misunderstanding?

Never make agreements based on misunderstandings. So, what is the difference?

The first step to wisdom is to have accurate conceptions of things:

Clear thought is good. Confused thought is bad.

Summary

Dichotomies are similar but opposite things; that are confusing to the mind, because their meanings seem to be intermingled.

There are many dichotomies, see if you can find them. Then separate them out and distinguish between them. Finally never get them mixed up again!

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Definition: Reason

In business, a reason is a solid explanation for not doing a job. It is logical, can be proved with facts, rests on a single unavoidable event, and is in line with the size of the missed task. Remove any one of these points and it becomes an excuse.

Article Summary

Clear thinking means spotting the gap between a real reason and a lazy excuse, resolve and stubborn will, fact and opinion, insult and fair criticism; choose the right side of each pair and your choices, actions and team culture all improve at once.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some questions that frequently get asked about this topic during our training sessions.

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Did You Know: Key Statistics

About the Author: Chris Farmer

Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years' experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.

Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.

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Further Reading in Conflict Management and Handling Difficult People

• Dealing With Conflicts of Interest Within a Team
  Learn proven steps for conflicts of interest in teams: link every choice to the company aim, apply the three-circle compromise, and let a decision maker act.
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• Dispute Resolution
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• How to Handle a Difficult Person in Six Easy Steps
  Learn a proven six step method to handle a difficult person, switch anger to calm, reach clear deals, and close talks with less stress at work or home every day
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• Reason vs Excuse
  Master reason vs excuse, determined vs stubborn, fact vs opinion and insult vs criticism to slash delays, speed decisions and lead teams with clear thinking.
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• How to deal with a smelly person at work
  Need to tackle body odour at work? Learn a simple, six-step script to hold a private, respectful talk, handle every reply, and keep trust and team morale intact
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