Established, since 1997, leading UK based training provider.

Management Training and Advanced Communication Skills

Management training and advanced communication skills

Management training and advanced communication skills

Management training is about improving the performance of oneself and others.
In order to do that, you need people to develop themselves.

But asking a person to engage in an act of self-development means asking them to change; and many people don't like the idea that they should change. They like themselves, just the way they are.

You can hear them say "I am not changing for anybody".
"I am what I am".
"You can take it or leave it; cause I ain't changing!"

In addition:
Asking people to develop themselves implies that they need to develop themselves. I.e. asking people to develop themselves implies a criticism;

There is an implied message of: you are not good enough.

Asking people to attend professional management training may sound like:
"Our training needs analysis reveals that you are broken. You need to be fixed: therefore I want you to attend this course".

For these reasons, asking people to attend management training or other development programmes can invoke resistance and/or, a loss of self-confidence.

How can you get round this problem?

Answer: In language, separate the person from the performance.

In thought and language separate the personality from the performance.

  1. The personality is, the psychology: the "soul" or "the spirit" of the person.
  2. The performance is, the behaviour: "everything the person does and says".

Sometimes: It is important to separate the person from the performance

WHY?
Because if your message implies the others personality is imperfect, then you will almost always trigger a negative response in the mind of the listener.
BUT if your message implies that only the persons performance is imperfect (but his personality is fine) then you will trigger less resistance.

Remember that many people DO equate their personality with their performance
They believe they are what they do.

Example: If you ask someone at a party "And what did you say you are?"
Then nine times out of ten, he-she will give you their profession: "I am a doctor" "a lawyer", "a plumber".

The idea that "you ARE what you DO" can lead to a condition that afflicts many people:

This affliction is called:
Over sensitivity to criticism.

In addition: The idea that "you ARE what you DO" can lead to a different disease: many people are infected with:
"Over-inflated ego syndrome"

Both conditions are caused by the same thing:

You believe too strongly that you ARE what you DO.
You equate your personality to your performance.

If you equate your personality to your performance then every criticism of your performance will be regarded as a personal insult.
Mistakenly, John believes that the statement "John, the proposal you wrote, was bad", means "John, you are bad"

Equating your personality to your performance makes it almost impossible for you to accept criticism without a drop in your own self-confidence.

Example: in 2006, the actor/director/author, Stephen Fry went into a deep depression for months after his stage play gained poor reviews.
People often equate their personality with their performance
And it can make them go the other way too: they get "over-inflated ego syndrome"
They get too cocky.

Alf, from sales department mistakenly thinks because his sales performance was great last month HE is Alfred the Great.

The Hollywood actress who gives a great screen performance mistakenly thinks that makes her a GREAT PERSON!

Here is the point: DONT equate performance with personality

Instead: It is often helpful to;

Separate the performance from the personality

For example:
If the person is doing badly, don't tell him that HE is doing badly. Tell him he is doing fine, but his performance is in need of an improvement!
If Steve needs to attend a course, don't tell him "Stephen: you are terrible. You need to go on a time management course"
Say "your performance would be improved if you knew more time management techniques"

Example:
If the person comes up with a bad idea, don't say "You must be crazy- that won't work!"
In language, strive to separate the idea from the personality before you shoot the idea down.

"Thanks for the idea: It is an interesting concept, in theory.

Can you come up with an idea that is more practical?"
Separate the performance from the personality
If the person is too cocky, don't attack him for being too cocky.
Just say "Up till now Alf, with the help from the rest of the sales and marketing team your performance has been very good- keep it up!"

Remember: Separate the performance from the personality

For more information about management training courses visit the Corporate Coach Group website

FREE Training Needs Analysis Free Training Needs Analysis Logo

FREE Training Needs Analysis!

In order to get the best from your training, you need to discover your relative strengths and weaknesses. Take our FREE training needs analysis questionnaire now and get a report in less than five minutes!

Blogs by Email

Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!

Your Comments

Further Reading in Communication - Clear Communication

  • Communication Styles
    Communication Styles You could define "Good communication skills" as "the ability to accurately transfer information and emotion to /from the minds of others". And as a leader-manager, you need to be good at both, i.e. Explaining facts Explaining feelings A Thought Experiment: If you were to make a list of twenty...
    Read Article >
  • Communications skills - negotiation
    Communications skills: Negotiation Here is the question we are concerning ourselves with: During a negotiation, how can we get the best results? Answer: We can get the best results by developing our knowledge of the principles governing successful negotiation and, in addition, we can develop the associated advanced communication skills that...
    Read Article >
  • Good Communication
    Good Communication At work, in order to become a more effective communicator, you need to develop three qualities: 1. Clarity: Everyone should be able to fully understand what you mean, even if they don't agree with you. Remember that misunderstandings will cause problems. Clarity is your main communication goal. 2. Rationality...
    Read Article >
  • Why we love logic
    To be successful and achieve your goals, you must act on logic and be rational when dealing with people.
    Read Article >
  • Clear communication skills
    Clear communication skills You live in a complex society that requires that you express yourself in words, both written and spoken. You succeed only to the degree to which you can clearly express your thoughts both in the written and spoken form. You need to be more clear, accurate, convincing and...
    Read Article >