How to be a Good Conversationalist
How to be a good conversationalist
To be a good conversationalist, you need to talk about only positive things, such as:
- Plans for a better future.
- Valuable information.
- Honest compliments.
- Honest thanks, and appreciation.
- Encouraging and motivational ideas and opinions.
- Anything that is good fun and of good humour.
- Stories of successful enterprise or the achievements of virtuous people.
1. Talk about (or ask about) plans for a better future.
People feel happier when they have reason to think that the future will be better than the past. Nowadays, there are so many people talking negatively about the future, that it is almost normal to be pessimistic and fearful.
But nobody likes to be afraid. So, be the one who talks in optimistic terms about plans for a better future.
2. Talk about BIG ideas and valuable information.
Talk about big ideas and interesting information. Don't waste time talking about the trivial and irrelevant things. Talk about science, technology, politics, religion, social issues, world events.
Make sure that what you say adds interest to the conversation.
3. Give honest compliments.
Everyone likes to receive a compliment, provided that it is an HONEST compliment.
Try giving more honest compliments by looking for, and finding, something upon which you can honestly compliment the other person.
4. Give honest thanks and appreciation.
In a similar way, everyone likes to be thanked and shown appreciation. No-one likes to be taken for granted. So be the one to give more honest thanks and appreciation to those you think have earned it.
5. Give encouraging and motivational ideas and opinions.
The world is full of demotivated people who have a negative effect on the others. Try to be the person who talks in encouraging ways, and expresses motivational thoughts and opinions. People love it.
6. Anything that is good fun and of good humour.
Be the source of good fun and good humour. Never be a grump. NOBODY likes a grump. Do you know any grumpy people? Don't be that way.
Be cheerful, even during demanding times and especially during difficult times, try to keep a sense of fun.
7. Talk about successful enterprise or the achievements of virtuous people.
Too much of today's world is driven by stories of conflict, failure and the exploits of evil people. The news is full of reports of murder, mayhem, criminality, corruption and death.
Instead, become the source of uplifting stories; talking about achievement, success and the exploits of honest, ethical people.
Being a good conversationalist involves:
Avoiding talk about:
- Fears or predictions of a bad future.
- Trivial or irrelevant information about things that do not contribute positively.
- Insults or derogatory comments.
- Berating and blaming people who are absent.
- Discouraging or demotivational ideas and opinions
- Bad temper or ill-humour.
- Stories of failed enterprises or the exploits of evil people.
Instead, talking about:
- Plans.
- Valuable information.
- Honest compliments.
- Honest appreciation.
- Encouraging ideas.
- Good fun.
- The achievements of virtuous people.
Quiz: Are you a positive influence on others?
Take our quiz Are you a positive influence on others? to see if you have a positive influence on other people.
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Definition: good conversationalist
In communication, a good conversationalist is a person who keeps talk upbeat and helpful. They discuss useful plans and ideas that lift the future, offer honest praise, thanks and support, stay cheerful and respectful, and avoid fear, gossip, blame or trivial chat. Lose any one of these traits and the name no longer fits.
Show CG4D Definition
- Shares positive, useful and future-focused topics
- Gives honest compliments, thanks and encouragement
- Keeps conversation cheerful, respectful and fun
- Avoids fear, gossip, blame and trivial chatter
Article Summary
Great talk lifts people; speak about plans, useful ideas, honest praise and bright stories, while steering clear of fear, gossip and blame, and you will soon be known as a good conversationalist who leaves others feeling hopeful and ready to act.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some questions that frequently get asked about this topic during our training sessions.
What is a quick way to open a positive conversation?
Why should I avoid talking about fears or gossip?
How do I give an honest compliment without sounding false?
Which "big ideas" keep conversation interesting?
How can I keep humour light yet respectful?
What phrases show real appreciation?
Does sharing success stories really build rapport?
Thought of something that's not been answered? Ask Us Today!
Did You Know: Key Statistics
86% of staff say respectful and positive talk is the main reason they feel happy at work (SHRM Workplace Culture Report, 2023). Communication skill is named in 91% of job ads aimed at 2025 roles, making it the top soft skill employers want (LinkedIn Learning Workplace Learning Report, 2024).About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years' experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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