Gain the Co-Operation of Others
Gain the Co-operation of Others
If you would like to make your life better, then learn to gain the willing co-operation of others.
Can you imagine how great your life would be, if you could talk to people in such a way, that everyone you met really wanted to help you?
Imagine what it would be like, if you could simply talk to people, and when you had finished talking, they felt an urgent desire to help you and to give you exactly what you asked for.
This is your goal: Your goal is to work on your communication skills so that people warm to you and you are able to gain their willing co-operation.
Now imagine the opposite: Imagine a person with such poor communication skills that they tend to upset people with the way they speak. Let's call this person Antagonistic Annie.
Antagonistic Annie is not a bad person, but she speaks to people in a way that is antagonistic, blunt, careless and annoying. As a result, her negative energy-field sets up a resistance in the minds of others around her and people don't want to be around Annie.
Annie has arguments every day, with all kinds of people; with the receptionist, with the driver, with her boss, with one of her suppliers, and with her partner. Antagonistic Annie feels downhearted and frustrated that she seems to be surrounded by idiots, who won't see sense.
And this sense of frustration causes her to use more harsh language, which upsets those around her, and therefore maintains the negative atmosphere in which Annie lives. Annie never realises that the cause of her troubles, is in her failure to understand how to talk to other people in ways that are likely to trigger a positive emotional response.
Instead, Annie talks to people in ways that are likely to trigger a negative emotional response. She is so super-annoying, and she doesn't even know it!
How can you talk to people in ways that are likely to trigger a positive emotional response?
Here is the list:
- Always be polite. Rather than saying, "I want you to do X"; use the phrase, "Would you please, do X?"
- "Would you please, (plus a polite request)", is a good speech habit to develop.
- Never swear. You don't know what silent damage you are doing to your reputation when you swear.
- When making a request, always give the reason for it. If you don't give a reason, then your request may appear, (from the perspective of the listener) to be a senseless or unreasonable request.
- If a person does something for you, always give verbal appreciation. Even if they are paid to do it, then you should still give them an appreciative comment, of thanks. For example, if a waiter brings you your coffee, say to him, "Thanks for bringing the coffee, I appreciate it".
- That small word of appreciation will work wonders for you.
- Avoid destructive criticism of others, to a third party. If you denigrate others to Bob, then Bob will soon begin to wonder if you are denigrating him to others.
- If you have to criticise others, do it to the person himself/herself, but do criticise them in as constructive manner as possible.
- Always talk as if you think the world is going to get better, i.e. talk in optimistic terms.
- Avoid talking in pessimistic, fearful or angry terms.
- Remember nobody likes a grump. So do NOT become a grump.
- If you are a grump, then hide it.
- Talk to people in cheerful ways and you will find that they will warm to you and will want to be around you, and will even be willing to help you.
- Shine the warm, bright light of language on them.
See what wonders you can perform with your words.
Quiz: Are you a positive influence on others?
Try our fun quiz to see how you influence other people: Do you have a positive influence on other people?
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About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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