Three Steps to Better Communication Skills

Three Steps to Better Communication Skills

Communication may be defined as: the transfer of information and ideas, from one mind to another.

"GOOD Communication" is the effective transfer of information and ideas, without any distortion, omission or error.

It is important for you to become a good communicator because, to achieve your goals, you need to gain the willing cooperation of others.

It is almost impossible to succeed without gaining the willing cooperation of others. And in order to gain their cooperation you will need to effectively communicate with them.

So the question we now need to answer is:

How can we more effectively communicate?

Here are three steps to more effective communication. Whenever you have a message to communicate; please remember these three steps:

• Step 1. State your message clearly.
• Step 2. Give your reasons.
• Step 3. Give importance to your message.

Step one: State your message clearly.

State your message in clear and distinct terms.

Your primary aim as a communicator is to be understood. If the other person understands you, then you are doing well.

If the other person does NOT understand you, or worse, if the other person MIS-understands you, then you are failing as a communicator.

Your primary purpose as a communicator is to be understood.

In order to be understood; state your point very clearly, using short sentences and easy vocabulary.

If you are using any abstract concepts, then give a definition.

For example, at the start of this blog I defined the term "Effective communication". I needed to do that because "effective communication" is an abstract concept.

Remember that your main aim is to be understood.

Your second aim is to be agreed with.

So now we move to step two.

Step two: Give your reasons.

Give your listener reasons to believe that your message is true. Tell the other person why your message it true.

How you validate your message depends on what the message is.

Sometimes the validation will be from your own experience. So you may say, "In my experience, I have always found that, in order to gain the willing cooperation of others, it is important to explain to them the reasons for my ideas".

Sometimes your validation will be from common experience: So you could say, "Everyone knows how hard it is to get anyone to change their minds. So it is important to provide good reasons for everything you say."

Sometimes your validation will come from quoting an external source, or expert, or scientific law; or you may quote an authority.

You might say, "The Greek Philosopher Aristotle, defined humans as, "The rational animal". People do things only if there is a reason to do them. So if you want to get someone to believe you, then you must provide some good reasons; otherwise, they won't believe you."

Sometimes your reasoning will be strong and sometimes not, but you should try to show at least some logic; reason; evidence or proof that there is something to back up your original statement.

Remember that everyone already has a flock of opinions. So they don't need any of yours. UNLESS your point is not a mere-opinion; you have good reasons to back it up.

So: Give your reasons.

Then take step three.

Step three: Give importance to your message.

Make your message important.

If you have done steps one and two correctly you have reached the position that they understand and agree that what you say is true,

It may be true but it may be trivial. Your message may be true but of no importance.

So the third step is to add a meaning to your message.

Explain why your message is important.

Depending on the message, you should try to make the message important to your listener's own self-interest. Appeal to the listener's self-interest and you will tend to gain their attention.

If your message it unimportant, they won't be interested and won't listen.

And if they won't listen to you, you are not communicating very well.

Give them a reason to believe your message is important.

For example, I started this blog with this sentence.

"Communication skills training is important for your future".

If you are still reading, I have managed to hold your attention for about five minutes.

Summary

If you want to improve your communication skills remember these three steps:

1. State your message clearly.
2. Give your reasons.
3. Give importance to your message.

In addition, as a listener, ask others to do the same.

• Ask the other for their main message in clear and distinct terms
• Ask them how they know their point is true?
• Ask them why it is important?

See if you can illicit good answers from the other person.

To discover where your communication skills are strongest, and where they are not so strong, try our quick quiz:

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