The Way you Speak to People
The Way You Speak to People
One of the most important things about you, is the way you speak to other people.
If you want to improve on your current situation, you will be better able to do that if you improve the way you speak to people. For best results, you'll need to gain the willing cooperation of others, and you can do that most easily, only if you speak to people properly.
Speaking to people in a rude, angry, impolite, offensive, pessimistic, or cynical manner, are probably the most common mistakes that people make.
Have you ever been spoken to by another person in ways that could be described as angry, rude, or impolite?
Have you ever heard a person at work talking in ways that may be described as pessimistic, cynical or depressed? Probably yes.
What is the effect on the mind of the listener, when the speaker is rude or offensive?
It does not inspire a willingness to work eagerly to make the world a better place. Instead, such negative talk tends to repel people.
You Need to Attract People
In order to get more of what you want, you need to attract people to you. Therefore, you need to speak to people in ways that can be described as: Polite, cheerful, friendly, respectful, interested.
Be Polite
Always remain polite, under all circumstances. Get out of the habit of issuing orders. Instead of saying, "I want you to do X". Instead, use the phrase, "Would you please, do X?" Would you please, (plus a polite request) is a great phrase to memorise and use daily.
Be cheerful
Remember. Nobody likes a grump. So present a lighter side to the outside world. Try to laugh a little. Or at least smile a little more often. Since, everyone wants to be happy, people are drawn towards happy people. If you want to attract others, appear as if you are enjoying life. Be cheerful.
Be friendly
In a similar way, everyone wants to feel loved, and appreciated and liked. So if you are friendly to people then, mostly, the other people will warm to you and will want to be friendly in return. You don't have to be sycophantic. Just try to come across as if you care a little bit about how the other person is doing today. Try asking this question to people: "How is your day going?" Be friendly and the world will respond accordingly.
Be respectful
Treat everyone as if they were a person of high intellect. Don't talk down to anyone. Don't judge a person by reference to their skin colour, or economic class, or gender, or job description or personal appearance.
To do that I find it helpful to look into the eyes of the other and I try to talk to their brain, and I try to ignore the distraction of their personal appearance. I imagine I am talking to a brain: an intellect. And I try to treat people as intellects of a high order. If you did that too, then you won't make the rookie mistake of underestimating a person, simply because you don't like the way they appear. Be respectful.
Be Interested
If you want others to make your life better by helping you, you need to reciprocate, first!
Ask yourself, how you can help the other person. If you are interested in others, they will interest themselves with you. If you are not interested in helping others, then you should not expect others to help you. Its simple economics.
Be careful how you speak.
Speak Properly to People
Would you please be polite: Be friendly, be respectful and be Interested in others.
If you do, you will attract people.
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About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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Further Reading in Communication - Persuasive Communication
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How to Persuade People to Act on Your Ideas
Having a great idea is not enough. You need to be able to get other people on board! Persuasive communication is essential if you want to take your idea off the drawing board and put it into practice. Here is how to do that.
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How to be more persuasive
How to make yourself more persuasive, by working on refining the communication of your message.
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The Power of Evaluative Questions
Our emotional responses are largely dictated by our evaluation of situations. By asking the right type of questions you can cultivate a confident and problem-solving mind set.
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The Rhetorical Triangle
Persuasive communication is a useful skill, and the rhetorical triangle method will help you express yourself and get your message across to your audience.
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Influencing skills - Being right is not enough to win
Influencing Skills Being right is not enough to win. You can be right and still lose if you use the wrong tactics. If you are right, but you word your message carelessly then you could easily lose-out to a person with a weaker idea, but who can explain it properly. So...
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