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The Way you Speak to People

The Way You Speak to People

The Way You Speak to People

One of the most important things about you, is the way you speak to other people.

If you want to improve on your current situation, you will be better able to do that if you improve the way you speak to people. For best results, you'll need to gain the willing cooperation of others, and you can do that most easily, only if you speak to people properly.

Speaking to people in a rude, angry, impolite, offensive, pessimistic, or cynical manner, are probably the most common mistakes that people make.

Have you ever been spoken to by another person in ways that could be described as angry, rude, or impolite?

Have you ever heard a person at work talking in ways that may be described as pessimistic, cynical or depressed? Probably yes.

What is the effect on the mind of the listener, when the speaker is rude or offensive?

It does not inspire a willingness to work eagerly to make the world a better place. Instead, such negative talk tends to repel people.

You Need to Attract People

In order to get more of what you want, you need to attract people to you. Therefore, you need to speak to people in ways that can be described as: Polite, cheerful, friendly, respectful, interested.

Be Polite

Always remain polite, under all circumstances. Get out of the habit of issuing orders. Instead of saying, "I want you to do X". Instead, use the phrase, "Would you please, do X?" Would you please, (plus a polite request) is a great phrase to memorise and use daily.

Be cheerful

Remember. Nobody likes a grump. So present a lighter side to the outside world. Try to laugh a little. Or at least smile a little more often. Since, everyone wants to be happy, people are drawn towards happy people. If you want to attract others, appear as if you are enjoying life. Be cheerful.

Be friendly

In a similar way, everyone wants to feel loved, and appreciated and liked. So if you are friendly to people then, mostly, the other people will warm to you and will want to be friendly in return. You don't have to be sycophantic. Just try to come across as if you care a little bit about how the other person is doing today. Try asking this question to people: "How is your day going?" Be friendly and the world will respond accordingly.

Be respectful

Treat everyone as if they were a person of high intellect. Don't talk down to anyone. Don't judge a person by reference to their skin colour, or economic class, or gender, or job description or personal appearance.

To do that I find it helpful to look into the eyes of the other and I try to talk to their brain, and I try to ignore the distraction of their personal appearance. I imagine I am talking to a brain: an intellect. And I try to treat people as intellects of a high order. If you did that too, then you won't make the rookie mistake of underestimating a person, simply because you don't like the way they appear. Be respectful.

Be Interested

If you want others to make your life better by helping you, you need to reciprocate, first!

Ask yourself, how you can help the other person. If you are interested in others, they will interest themselves with you. If you are not interested in helping others, then you should not expect others to help you. Its simple economics.

Be careful how you speak.

Speak Properly to People

Would you please be polite: Be friendly, be respectful and be Interested in others.

If you do, you will attract people.

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Communication Skills Training

Do you ever think to yourself, "I know what I mean, but I can't explain it"? You need to be able communicate facts, feelings, information and ideas, in a clear, professional and confident manner. If you want to learn more about our communication skills training, please click here.

About the Author: Chris Farmer

Chris

Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.

Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.

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Further Reading in Communication - Persuasive Communication

  • How to gain more confidence when speaking
    Self confidence: Do you want to know how to gain more self confidence when speaking? Last week, I received a phone call from a man who wanted to know if I could help him with his low levels of self-confidence. The conversation went on for over an hour and it was...
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  • How to be a More Confident Communicator
    Learn to be a confident communicator by preparing your message, speaking at a reasonable pace, observing reactions, avoiding excessive talking, and maintaining a friendly demeanour. These tips will help you express yourself effectively.
    Read Article >
  • Tips to Improve your communication skills
    Tips to improve your communication skills It's true, isn't it, that almost everyone would benefit if they improved their ability to communicate? Since, in order to achieve your goals, you need to gain the cooperative assistance of others, and since you are not telepathic, then you rely on your ability to...
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  • How to Negotiate Properly
    Successful negotiation needs careful thought and proper preparation. Take a look at the common negotiation errors that people make and learn to avoid them. Careful analysis and a logical approach will allow you to become a successful negotiator.
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  • How to Persuade People to Act on Your Ideas
    Having a great idea is not enough. You need to be able to get other people on board! Persuasive communication is essential if you want to take your idea off the drawing board and put it into practice. Here is how to do that.
    Read Article >

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