The Way you Speak to People
The Way You Speak to People
One of the most important things about you, is the way you speak to other people.
If you want to improve on your current situation, you will be better able to do that if you improve the way you speak to people. For best results, you'll need to gain the willing cooperation of others, and you can do that most easily, only if you speak to people properly.
Speaking to people in a rude, angry, impolite, offensive, pessimistic, or cynical manner, are probably the most common mistakes that people make.
Have you ever been spoken to by another person in ways that could be described as angry, rude, or impolite?
Have you ever heard a person at work talking in ways that may be described as pessimistic, cynical or depressed? Probably yes.
What is the effect on the mind of the listener, when the speaker is rude or offensive?
It does not inspire a willingness to work eagerly to make the world a better place. Instead, such negative talk tends to repel people.
You Need to Attract People
In order to get more of what you want, you need to attract people to you. Therefore, you need to speak to people in ways that can be described as: Polite, cheerful, friendly, respectful, interested.
Be Polite
Always remain polite, under all circumstances. Get out of the habit of issuing orders. Instead of saying, "I want you to do X". Instead, use the phrase, "Would you please, do X?" Would you please, (plus a polite request) is a great phrase to memorise and use daily.
Be cheerful
Remember. Nobody likes a grump. So present a lighter side to the outside world. Try to laugh a little. Or at least smile a little more often. Since, everyone wants to be happy, people are drawn towards happy people. If you want to attract others, appear as if you are enjoying life. Be cheerful.
Be friendly
In a similar way, everyone wants to feel loved, and appreciated and liked. So if you are friendly to people then, mostly, the other people will warm to you and will want to be friendly in return. You don't have to be sycophantic. Just try to come across as if you care a little bit about how the other person is doing today. Try asking this question to people: "How is your day going?" Be friendly and the world will respond accordingly.
Be respectful
Treat everyone as if they were a person of high intellect. Don't talk down to anyone. Don't judge a person by reference to their skin colour, or economic class, or gender, or job description or personal appearance.
To do that I find it helpful to look into the eyes of the other and I try to talk to their brain, and I try to ignore the distraction of their personal appearance. I imagine I am talking to a brain: an intellect. And I try to treat people as intellects of a high order. If you did that too, then you won't make the rookie mistake of underestimating a person, simply because you don't like the way they appear. Be respectful.
Be Interested
If you want others to make your life better by helping you, you need to reciprocate, first!
Ask yourself, how you can help the other person. If you are interested in others, they will interest themselves with you. If you are not interested in helping others, then you should not expect others to help you. Its simple economics.
Be careful how you speak.
Speak Properly to People
Would you please be polite: Be friendly, be respectful and be Interested in others.
If you do, you will attract people.
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Definition: Polite speech
Polite speech is a business way of talking that shows respect and wins help. It uses calm, friendly words, never rude or angry ones. It keeps a positive tone, even under strain, and seeks to build good will so people choose to work with you.
Show CG4D Definition
- Uses respectful, courteous words and tone
- Avoids rude, angry or negative language
- Aims to build trust and willing cooperation
- Stays calm and cheerful, even under pressure
Article Summary
Polite speech turns strangers into allies; when you speak with respect, cheer and real interest, you draw people closer, earn their trust and gain the cooperation that drives success.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some questions that frequently get asked about this topic during our training sessions.
Why does polite speech help me gain cooperation at work?
What effect does rude or negative language have on listeners?
How can I swap orders for polite requests?
What is one simple way to sound more cheerful when speaking?
How do I show genuine interest in another person during conversation?
What quick test can I use to check if my tone is respectful?
Does greeting people warmly really help build rapport?
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Did You Know: Key Statistics
Gallup State of the Global Workplace 2024 shows that teams whose leaders speak with clear and polite words post 27% higher work effort and 21% more profit than teams led by rude talk. The 2023 CIPD Good Work study finds that 85% of UK staff say kind and respectful talk from managers lifts their trust and makes them more likely to stay in the role.About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years' experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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Further Reading in Communication - Persuasive Communication
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How to be a More Confident Communicator
Learn five ways to build confident communication: plan your message, slow your pace, watch cues, share talk and use friendly body language to engage any group.
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Communication skills - Your words have an awesome power
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The Way You Speak to People
Learn how polite speech, positive language and respectful communication draw people to you, lift trust and help you gain cooperation at work and home.
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Communication Skills: Etiquette and Politeness
Learn the clear difference between etiquette and politeness, why respectful communication boosts trust, and simple steps to improve your social manners today.
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How to Negotiate Properly
Boost your negotiation skills: learn the 3-set model, avoid common mistakes, list must-haves and trade-offs, and create a clear win-win deal every time you meet
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