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Communication - Persuasive Communication · 3 min read

The Way You Speak to People

Learn how polite speech, positive language and respectful communication draw people to you, lift trust and help you gain cooperation at work and home.

Chris Farmer, Founder of Corporate Coach Group

“Polite speech turns strangers into allies; when you speak with respect, cheer and real interest, you draw people closer, earn their trust and gain the cooperation that drives success.”

Chris Farmer — Founder, Corporate Coach Group

The Way You Speak to People

The Way You Speak to People

One of the most important things about you, is the way you speak to other people.

If you want to improve on your current situation, you will be better able to do that if you improve the way you speak to people. For best results, you'll need to gain the willing cooperation of others, and you can do that most easily, only if you speak to people properly.

Speaking to people in a rude, angry, impolite, offensive, pessimistic, or cynical manner, are probably the most common mistakes that people make.

Have you ever been spoken to by another person in ways that could be described as angry, rude, or impolite?

Have you ever heard a person at work talking in ways that may be described as pessimistic, cynical or depressed? Probably yes.

What is the effect on the mind of the listener, when the speaker is rude or offensive?

It does not inspire a willingness to work eagerly to make the world a better place. Instead, such negative talk tends to repel people.

You Need to Attract People

In order to get more of what you want, you need to attract people to you. Therefore, you need to speak to people in ways that can be described as: Polite, cheerful, friendly, respectful, interested.

Be Polite

Always remain polite, under all circumstances. Get out of the habit of issuing orders. Instead of saying, "I want you to do X". Instead, use the phrase, "Would you please, do X?" Would you please, (plus a polite request) is a great phrase to memorise and use daily.

Be cheerful

Remember. Nobody likes a grump. So present a lighter side to the outside world. Try to laugh a little. Or at least smile a little more often. Since, everyone wants to be happy, people are drawn towards happy people. If you want to attract others, appear as if you are enjoying life. Be cheerful.

Be friendly

In a similar way, everyone wants to feel loved, and appreciated and liked. So if you are friendly to people then, mostly, the other people will warm to you and will want to be friendly in return. You don't have to be sycophantic. Just try to come across as if you care a little bit about how the other person is doing today. Try asking this question to people: "How is your day going?" Be friendly and the world will respond accordingly.

Be respectful

Treat everyone as if they were a person of high intellect. Don't talk down to anyone. Don't judge a person by reference to their skin colour, or economic class, or gender, or job description or personal appearance.

To do that I find it helpful to look into the eyes of the other and I try to talk to their brain, and I try to ignore the distraction of their personal appearance. I imagine I am talking to a brain: an intellect. And I try to treat people as intellects of a high order. If you did that too, then you won't make the rookie mistake of underestimating a person, simply because you don't like the way they appear. Be respectful.

Be Interested

If you want others to make your life better by helping you, you need to reciprocate, first!

Ask yourself, how you can help the other person. If you are interested in others, they will interest themselves with you. If you are not interested in helping others, then you should not expect others to help you. Its simple economics.

Be careful how you speak.

Speak Properly to People

Would you please be polite: Be friendly, be respectful and be Interested in others.

If you do, you will attract people.

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Polite speech

Polite speech is a business way of talking that shows respect and wins help. It uses calm, friendly words, never rude or angry ones. It keeps a positive tone, even under strain, and seeks to build good will so people choose to work with you.

CG4D Definition

Context: Business
Genus: Communication style

  • Uses respectful, courteous words and tone
  • Avoids rude, angry or negative language
  • Aims to build trust and willing cooperation
  • Stays calm and cheerful, even under pressure

Article Summary

Polite speech turns strangers into allies; when you speak with respect, cheer and real interest, you draw people closer, earn their trust and gain the cooperation that drives success.

Chris Farmer, Founder of Corporate Coach Group

Written by Chris Farmer

Founder & Lead Trainer, Corporate Coach Group

Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has over 25 years experience designing and delivering leadership and management training across both the public and private sectors. His programmes are structured, practical and built around real-world performance. Read more about Chris and the story of how the Corporate Coach Group was founded.

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Key Statistics

Gallup State of the Global Workplace 2024 shows that teams whose leaders speak with clear and polite words post 27% higher work effort and 21% more profit than teams led by rude talk.

The 2023 CIPD Good Work study finds that 85% of UK staff say kind and respectful talk from managers lifts their trust and makes them more likely to stay in the role.

Frequently Asked Questions

Common questions about this topic

Polite speech shows respect, lowers tension and invites goodwill. People feel valued, so they choose to support your aims and work harder with you.
It repels people, drains their mood, and makes them less willing to help. Cooperation falls because nobody enjoys working with anger or cynicism.
Use a friendly tone, add 'Would you please' before the task and end with thanks. The phrase turns a command into respectful communication.
Smile while you talk. A real smile lifts your voice pitch and helps listeners hear warmth, making your cheerful speaking feel natural.
Ask open questions like 'How is your day going?', listen fully, and respond to their words. This proves you value them and invites rapport.
Imagine you are speaking to a senior you admire. If the words would offend them, adjust. This mental check keeps communication polite.
Yes. A warm 'hello' with eye contact signals respect and friendly intent. It lowers barriers and starts positive language from the first moment.

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