Coaching and Mentoring Training Course - 1 Day

The first step to wisdom is to gain a clear understanding of what we are talking about: to give clear and distinct definitions of the terms we are using.

We offer the definition of coaching as “a form of teaching/training, based upon giving individualised instruction designed to improve the learner’s skills, knowledge, technique and confidence”.

On the other hand, mentoring is “a (different) form of training based upon demonstrating and exemplifying the specific skills and attributes that the mentor wants to inspire in the learner". This is often called, role modelling.

In order to act as an effective coach and mentor, we must possess a range of specialist skills, knowledge and attitudes. Which skills, knowledge and attitudes are required for each?

We will formulate a theoretical-ideal, which we will use as a template against which to judge our own performance as coach and mentor. Then we assess exactly where we currently deviate from the ideal, and where our actions more closely correspond to the ideal.

Coaching and mentoring have a twofold aim; to play to and extend the range of strengths, and to simultaneously identify and eliminate errors.

Of the two aims, the elimination of error is by far the most important. Everyone is happy to show off their strengths (which is great for the ego, but does not produce much growth).

A smaller number of people take time to identify their flaws and work diligently to eradicate error. But remember it takes only one obvious flaw in a performance, to destroy all chances of success.

So, we start by identifying our strengths and more importantly we identify where we are not as strong, but need to be. This becomes the major focus of training; to assess the current condition, play to strengths and work like crazy to bring up the weak points.

Nobody can achieve a goal they never set. Therefore, the first step to achievement is to set a goal. We need to learn about goal setting.

We will cover the whats, whys and hows of setting goals.

We will present an eight-part system of goal setting, which will allow us to define targets; and begin to assemble the mental, emotional, tangible and intangible resources needed to achieve goals.

Now we focus our attention on the specific skills associated to coaching, as distinct from mentoring. There are seven skills we will draw your attention to: clear communication, reasoning skills, emotional intelligence, suggestive questioning, constructive feedback, performance management, confidence building.

One of the biggest obstacles to effective coaching is the inherent ambiguity of language. People often use ambiguous language; words and phrases that have multiple possible meanings. This leads to misunderstandings, and misunderstandings cause problems.

The solution is to use words and phrases that have only one possible meaning. Good coaching relies on clear communication. We will show you three ways to help you to express your exact meaning.

Everything a coach does, should be for a good reason. Nothing should be arbitrary. Nothing is random. We do not guess. As a coach you should not only explain what to do, but you should also explain the reasons for it.

If the learner knows what to do, but not why, then their motivation and understanding is undermined, and thus weakened. We will explain how to best describe your reasoning.

Everyone is affected by emotions. So, all good coaches know how to use emotions to their best advantage. Every emotion has its uses and they are subtle.

For instance, not all negative emotions are bad, since for some people, anger can be a powerful motivator to improve. And not all positive emotions are good, overconfidence can be the cause of failure.

So, a good coach understands how to use the right emotion, at the right time, in order to get the performance needed from their trainees.
We will teach you the almost magical art of emotional management.

Most people don’t like to be told! So, it is often better to frame your guidance in the form of suggestive questions.

Salespeople have a phrase: “If I tell them, they fight me. But if I ask them the right questions, their answers convince them”.

Therefore, what does a good coach try to do? A good coach uses questions to guide the learner in the right direction by means of suggestion.

Performance management and constructive feedback go together, like twins. To improve a persons performance means you need to give them constructive, (not destructive) feedback.

We will examine the difference between constructive, helpful feedback and destructive. We never use words in destructive ways. We use words only in constructive ways. You will find this skill is a game changer.

The self-concept is “the beliefs people hold about themselves, in terms of their native ability and potential”.

If the person thinks badly of themselves (they have a weak self-concept), then that alone, is enough to destroy their chances of high achievement.
If a person thinks well of themselves (strong self-concept), then that opens the door to the possibility of future growth.

All good coaches know about the role of the self-concept and its effects on self-confidence and performance. This session will teach you everything you need to know.

Now we turn our focus onto the more profound form of teaching: Mentoring.

You have heard it said, “Talk’s cheap” and “Actions speak louder than words”. It is true.

If Mr Mentor tells others to “Do X”, but then they later see him do the exact opposite, then all Mr Mentor's earlier words and future pronouncements are rendered worthless.

Good mentors exemplify their highest ideals.

Mentors’ motto: BE what you want to SEE.

Social learning theory says that people learn how to behave by watching and mimicking others. Babies do it, kids do it and grownups do it too.

If we are to be successful mentors then we must not only "talk the talk", we must also "walk the walk", because our actions speak louder than our words.

Integrity means that a person’s words and actions are fully integrated, which means they do what they say they will do. That is, they don’t say one thing and then do the opposite.

If they say they believe in justice, their actions demonstrate that.
If they say they believe in reason, their actions demonstrate that.

A good mentor will always have integrity. If you want to be a good mentor, then act in accordance with your best words.

Integrity is a moral / ethical principle which is applicable to mentoring.
But there are many more ethical / moral principles, mentors should embody.

Here are a few of the most important ethical, moral principles applicable to good mentors:

1. Honesty
2. Justice
3. Industry (hard work)
4. Kindness
5. Respect

Any breach of these ethical principles will cause failure:

1. Dishonesty
2. Injustice
3. Laziness, laxity
4. Unkindness
5. Disrespect. Rudeness

Mentors do well by doing good.

Let us finish our course by looking at some real-life examples of what we would consider to be excellent coaches/mentors.

You can pick a coach from any field of human endeavour: sport, business, the arts, military history, social politics, economics, philosophy or your own personal story.

We will ask you to tell us who we could use, to exemplify the concept of excellent coach and mentor.