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Where can I Find a Good Assertiveness Training Course?

Where can I find a good assertiveness training course?

Where can I find a good assertiveness training course?

A good assertiveness training course will be able to help you to tread the middle ground between being, "too meek," on one side, and being, "too pushy", on the other side. You need to be able to stand your ground and make your point heard, and yet not come on too strong and trigger a negative emotional response in the mind of your listener. This is the art of mastering assertive communication skills.

Assertiveness skills are important to you in work. At work, you often have to deal with difficult people. These difficult people cause you to fall into one of the two traps mentioned above.

Certain people may make you feel intimidated, so that you don't feel, that you can say-enough to make your point clear. You are too meek and mild and a bit of a push over.

Certain other people may make you lose your cool and you come on too strong; you say too much and you say the wrong things. You trigger an equal and opposite, re-action, in the mind of your listener.

A good assertiveness training course should be able to explain to you exactly what to say and exactly what to do, and what not to say and what not to do, in order for you to come across as polite, firm, strong, articulate and clear. I.e. assertive.

What are the proper specific contents of an assertiveness course?

There are certain fundamentals that your course should give you.

Here is what you should be looking to find on a good assertiveness training course:

  1. The need for you to make a firm decision to change.
  2. The ability to be able to explain exactly what you want.
  3. The ability to be able to give constructive criticism.
  4. The ability to be able to take constructive criticism.
  5. The ability to be able to give (and take) praise and appreciation.

Let us look at each of these five items, in turn.

1. The need for you to make a firm decision to change

If you don't commit to making a change in your current methods of thinking, speaking, and acting, then additional time spent in training will be of no benefit to you. You must first be very clear that you will and must use the information that will be covered in the training.

Make a decision to improve your performance and use the knowledge. You have heard the phrase; knowledge is power. It is power, only if you use it.

2. The ability to be able to explain exactly what you want

Assertiveness means being able to express exactly what you want. That ability, in turn, depends upon two other abilities;

You have to know what it is you do want.

You have to be able to find the words to express what you want.

So assertiveness means making decisions and deciding what you want; (as opposed to knowing only what you don't want).

Assertiveness means finding exactly the right words to give voice to your desires and expectations.

This means that you must learn two distinct models:

  1. A model for Goal setting.
  2. A model for Defining your key ideas, words, and concepts.

Elaborating on the above point; you need to be able to find the exact words you want to express your thoughts. Many people who lack assertiveness are unable to express themselves verbally. They say to themselves, "I know what I mean, but I can't explain it."

So we need to work hard on methods that will allow you to express your meaning in both the spoken, and the written form.

3. The ability to be able to give constructive criticism

At work, and at home, you need to be able to give constructive criticism to others who are not doing what you want, or who are doing things that you don't want.
But how do most people take criticism from others?

Answer: badly

So you must learn to give criticism in a constructive, not destructive way.

Question: What is the nature of constructive criticism and how does it differ from destructive insult?

Assertive constructive criticism is objective, specific, non-emotionalised, well timed and does suggest a specific corrective action.
On the other hand; bad, destructive criticism is the opposite: destructive criticism is;
Subjective, vague, emotionalised, poorly timed, and does not suggest a specific corrective action.
On your assertiveness training you need time to learn and practice a method of providing objective, specific, non-emotionalised, well timed and constructive criticism.

4. The ability to be able to take constructive criticism

In addition to being able to dish out criticism, you must be able to take it.
Many people who lack assertiveness are themselves, oversensitive to criticism.
Some are too easily offended and come out fighting.
Others are too easily offended and lose all their confidence.
So you do need to be able to absorb criticism and to analyse the feedback to check to see if it is true.
If someone criticises you, then you should, at least, listen to it and then analyse it to see if it is true.

You will discover that the criticism is either:
True
Partially true
Not true

If you think the feedback is true, or partially true, then you should make a change.
If you think the feedback is not true, then you should not change.

You should always judge criticism accurately and objectively, and react to it properly in an intelligent, logical, (not emotional) manner.

5. The ability to be able to give (and take) praise and appreciation

In addition to being able to take criticism, you must be able to take compliments and praise.
Many people who lack assertiveness skills, also lack self-esteem; they lack self-confidence.
So they feel uncomfortable with accepting praise. Some people are suspicious of praise. They think the other person is only trying "to butter me up".
It is important to be able to accept praise.

The best way to accept praise is simply to say:
"Thank you".

In addition; it is important to be able to give praise and appreciation for the achievements and hard work of others.

The rules for appreciation and praise are:

Praise should be:

  • Well timed
  • Specific
  • Clear
  • Not exaggerated
  • and linked with a request for more of the same

Example of good praise:
"Sue; your layout for the newsletter was just what I wanted; I loved the use of colour and the photographs you picked were excellent. Keep up the good work. I appreciate it."

This is the proper specific contents of a good assertiveness training course.

Here they are one more time:
The need for you to make a firm decision to change.
The ability to be able to explain exactly what you want; to be able to give constructive criticism; to be able to take constructive criticism.
And the ability to be able to give (and take) praise and appreciation.

If you want to attend the course that covers this material please call us and we will book you on to the next course. Thank you.

For more information about assertiveness training courses visit the Corporate Coach Group website

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