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What is Effective Communication

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Posted 06 May 2011 by Chris FarmerChris Farmer

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• Bespoke in-house training.
These can be tailored to your specific needs.
• Open training courses at locations near you.
You may find the following will help with the development of your communication skills training.

What is Effective Communication

You would benefit greatly if you were to improve your communication skills.

How do I know that you would benefit from some communication skills training?
Because: Everyone would

Why?
You need to gain the cooperative efforts of others.

i.e. You need other people to help you: Why?

Because you can't do it all on your own. You don't have sufficient knowledge to allow you to get by without other peoples experience, knowledge and skill.

Even if you have knowledge, you don't have sufficient time to do everything that needs to be done.

So, you need to gain the cooperation of others.
So you need to develop your communication skills.

Gaining the cooperation of others requires good communication skills.

Some people don't have those skills and as a result, antagonise others.

They create more resistance than they should.
Their communication style is contrary to their own long term best interests.
They would benefit more if they could attract others, rather than repel them.

We all would benefit be developing a more attractive style.

I want to help you by giving you a simple yet powerful idea.

If you take the following idea seriously, you will gain tremendous advantage and improve your communication skills immediately: and it requires NO hard work!

That idea is this:
DON'T SAY everything you feel like saying. Imagine that you have the following message tattooed on the back of your left hand.

DON'T SAY IT!

Much of what you say, you would be better served, if you DID NOT say it.
Much of what people say falls into one of the following categories:

I call these the "BAD BUNCH",

  1. Complaining about circumstances Example: It's too cold today: when is the summer coming?
  2. Complaining about other people Example: That stupid idiot couldn't find his way out of a bag.
  3. Blame Example: It was her fault, not mine!
  4. Fear /worry messages Example: Where's it all going to end....?
  5. Self-doubt messages Example: I don't think I'll be able to do it....what if I fail?
  6. Anger messages Example: He makes me so angry...You made me so mad!
  7. Talking about yourself without asking about the other person

The most commonly spoken pronoun is "I".

In order to improve your effectiveness, the simple trick is to minimise the amount of time you spend talking about these categories of speech.

That means:

  1. Less time complaining about circumstances
  2. Less time complaining about other people
  3. Less time blaming others for things that go wrong.
  4. Fewer expressions of fear and worry
  5. Fewer self-doubt s
  6. Less anger
  7. Fewer references to yourself and your own Holidays, your own children and your own opinions

What should you talk about instead?

If you're not going to talk about the BAD BUNCH above, what are you going to replace it with?

Answer:
Any one or combination of the following three kinds of communication:

  1. Silence
  2. Questions
  3. Positive speech

Silence Silence is often better than moaning about things you can't change to people who don't want to hear it.

Questions
Ask questions: get others talking by asking them questions about themselves.

When other people are talking you are gaining advantages: 1. You are gaining information 2. You are showing an interest in them 3. You can't put your foot in it, by listening

Positive speech replace the bad bunch list (from above) with their opposites:

  1. More praise
  2. Greater expressions of hope
  3. Clear goals
  4. High expectations
  5. Expressions of personal responsibility
  6. Big ambition
  7. A degree of courage

We can call this list "The magnificent seven"

Summary

  1. Employ the Magnificent seven
  2. DON'T employ the BAD BUNCH

For more information about communication skills training visit the Corporate Coach Group website

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