Top Ten Conflict Management Techniques
Conflict is inevitable, since people each have their own ideas about what is good, right, and fair. And their ideas don't always correspond with yours.
If you are in a conflict situation and trying to resolve it, use the following top ten conflict management techniques.
- Use reason to resolve conflict: NOT high emotion.
- Distinguish between their personality and their behaviour.
- Decide what the corrective action should be.
- Don't argue about the past: you can't change the past.
- Be very aware of your voice tones and body language.
- Control your voice tone.
- Never swear or make threats.
- Distinguish between reasons and excuses for not doing something.
- Give immediate recognition and praise for any positive move, on their part.
- Don't linger. Leave.
1. Use reason to resolve conflict: NOT high emotion.
Express yourself in rational, calm language.
Keep away from highly charged, over emotional, opinionated and accusative language.
2. Distinguish between their personality and their behaviour.
Criticise their behaviour: not their personality or character.
3. Talk about what they did or said.
"You parked in the disabled parking space". Is better language than, "You are selfish".
Distinguish between factual, specific language and vague, emotional, opinionated language.
Use factual, objective language, to describe the conflict situation.
4. Figure out what the corrective action should be.
Think about what you should ask for, as a corrective action.
The corrective action should be very explicit. The example might be:
"You parked in the disabled parking space. Next time, would you please, park in the proper place and leave the disabled parking bays free for disabled people".
5. Don't argue about the past: you can't change the past.
Don't spend too much time asking why someone did something.
It is pointless arguing over what has already happened.
If you are going to argue, then argue over what will happen in the future.
Don't argue over the past: argue over the future:
What happens now? You need to agree a way forward, into the future.
6. Be very aware of your voice tones and body language.
Just as you control your language, please control your body language. Never point your finger or pen at anyone.
7. Control your voice tone.
Never shout. Instead, speak slowly and calmly.
8. Never swear or make threats.
It never works well to swear.
Swearing inflames an already bad situation.
Instead of swearing, THINK! And make suggestions as to the best way out of the conflict situation.
9. Distinguish between reasons and excuses for not doing something.
Don't give concessions to people who offer excuses.
Give concessions only to people who offer reasons.
10. Give immediate recognition and praise for any positive move, on their part.
Give immediate positive feedback for any movement or concession given by the other person, towards your preferred outcome.
Give positive feedback on every comment you like.
11. Don't linger. Leave.
As soon as you have an agreement, get away from the conversation.
Once you have gained an agreement. Don't keep talking about it.
Learn Conflict Management Techniques
It is important to learn conflict management techniques, because conflicts are both costly, and inevitable.
- They are inevitable, because people each have their own ideas about what is good, right, and fair. And their ideas don't always correspond with yours.
- They are costly because disputes often cause bad feelings. These bad feelings interfere with the principle of "cooperative working" that all organisations need, if they are to be effective.
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If you want to know more about the proper handling of conflict situations, please attend our one-day Conflict Management course.
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Conflict management technique
A conflict management technique is a workplace method used to settle a dispute. It uses calm, rational talk, looks at actions not character, agrees a clear next step, and keeps working ties strong. If any one of these parts is missing, it is not a true conflict management technique.
CG4D Definition
Context: Business
Genus: Technique
- Resolves workplace disputes quickly
- Uses calm, rational communication instead of emotion
- Agrees explicit corrective action for the future
- Protects ongoing cooperative working relationships
Article Summary
Resolve disputes with reason, not rage. Use clear facts, calm voice, fair body language and swift praise to guide people from clash to cooperation. These ten conflict management techniques cut stress, save time and lift team results.