Leadership training: Self-reliance

Leadership Training: Self-Reliance

The distinguishing characteristic that is shared by all leaders, is self-reliance.

Self-reliance means emotional self-sufficiency.

1. Leaders don't feel the emotional NEED to gain other people's approval. And...
2. Leaders don't FEAR the disapproval of others.

Let us look at each.

1. Leaders do not feel the need for people's approval.

Leaders are self-sufficient; self-motivated. Leaders are their own source of motivation and validation. They are not dependent on others to "give them motivation".

Leaders do not need the approval of others, or to be "psyched up" by others. The source of a leader's motivation and self-esteem comes from within.

Psychologists say that this type of person has an "Internal locus of control". They find their primary motivation from within themselves.

Many non-leaders have the opposite; they have an "External locus of control"; meaning they find their motivation only in the external environment.

Non-leaders need to be motivated by external forces, such as their boss, or their mother, or their partner, or their friends, or by pain, or by poverty.

If no such motivating force is present, then the person lapses into a demotivated, lethargic and fearful state of mind.

Question: To what degree do you have an internal locus of control? Are you a self-motivated individual? Do you generate your own motivation from the inside out?

Or do you tend to need the support and encouragement of others to keep you moving?

2. Leaders do not fear the disapproval of others.

Leaders do not need others approval and they don't fear the disapproval of others. Almost everyone fears the disapproval of others.

Many people cannot handle criticism.

As a result, many people take criticism of their performance very badly. They get upset and annoyed whenever anyone criticises them or contradicts their views. Many people are afraid to state their opinion, for fear of rejection.

Many people won't enter the competition for fear of losing; and thus attracting the disapproval of friends or family. The fear of disapproval and criticism is sometimes called, "the fear of failure" and "the fear of rejection".

1. Leaders don't fear failure.
2. Leaders fear NOT trying to succeed.

Leaders are not psyched out by criticism and rejection.

Leaders recognise that often; massive amounts of failure and rejection are necessary precursors to ultimate success.

So, leaders are not dispirited by failure; nor by the criticism of others.

On the other hand; non-leaders are too easily dispirited by criticism and rejection.

Question: To what degree are you over-sensitive to criticism, rejection and failure? If someone criticises your performance, do you get angry, upset or dispirited?

Or, do you regard criticism, rejection and failure simply as feedback information, which needs to be analysed and used to build improved plans for a better future?

Points to ponder to be a leader.

1. Develop self-reliance.

2. Develop an internal locus of control.

3. Be the source of your own self-confidence.

4. Don't become reliant on others to motivate you; or praise you.

5. Toughen up a little.

6. Don't be oversensitive to criticism.

7. Don't allow fear of rejection, or failure to haunt you.

8. Accept the fact that usually, massive rejection and failure are necessary precursors to success.

9. Treat all failure and all rejection as "feedback information", that needs to be analysed, and then used to build improved plans for a better future.

[elm Banner]