How to Stop People Complaining
How to Stop People Complaining
To stop people complaining, use this four-step formula:
- Listen without interruption for a while.
- Empathise with how they feel.
- Ask them, "What are you going to do about it?"
- Keep asking what THEY intend to do about it, until they stop complaining and start doing something to make it better.
To stop people complaining, take these simple steps.
1. For a while, listen without interruption.
For a while at least, you need to let people talk about how they feel. Give them a chance to express their thoughts and feelings.
But not forever. After a definite point, more complaining is not adding any value to anyone. Not even to the complainer.
So, now it is time to take step 2.
2. Empathise with how they feel.
Empathise with how they feel. Don't make them out to be wrong. Just empathise with them. Use the following words, "I understand you are feeling, BLANK (Angry, upset, annoyed, etc) and I can understand why: But let me ASK YOU A QUESTION..."
3. Ask them this fantastic question.
Say to them "What are you going to do about it?" or "What do you intend to do to make the situation better?
When you ask them what they intend to do to make the situation better, you are taking the conversation out of the negative state and putting into the positive state.
You are changing it into talking about plans of action, rather than talking about what's wrong.
You are changing the conversation from the problem to the solution.
Some complainers hate to have positive conversations.
When you change the focus of the complainers' conversation from the problem to talking about solutions, you will see complainers take one of two responses.
1. They will respond positively and will gladly talk about ways to improve the situation.
2. They will not respond positively and they will resist the invitation to improve the situation. They will try to keep on complaining by saying either; "I don't know what to do," or "There is nothing I can do".
In either case, they will avoid talking about plans for a better future and revert to complaining.
If they revert to complaining, then repeat the process.
- Listen for a while, then
- Empathise, then
- Ask them "What do you intend to do about it?"
After a few rounds, they will do one of two things,
- Stop complaining and talk about what can be done about it, or
- Leave you and go and find someone else to whom they can continue complaining; someone who won't keep asking them, "What are you going to do about it?"
Either way, you won't have to hear them complaining any more!
Leadership Training - The Effective Leader Manager
As the team leader or manager, you know that, on the technical level, you are very good. In your role as an effective and inspirational leader-manager, you recognise that there may be some gaps. Now you are searching for a method to help you to improve your skills as a team-leader and manager - click here to find out more!
About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
Blogs by Email
Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!
Further Reading in Leadership and Management
-
How to think logically
Learn to solve your problems quickly. Logical thinking uses reasoning to solve a problem. It involves deconstructing the elements of a problem and then constructing logical solutions to come to a suitable conclusion.
Read Article > -
Management training course
Management Training Course Management training is important because managing tasks and managing people, is itself, a difficult task. Good management skills are difficult to develop. If you can find a person who has developed all the major management skills to a high degree, then you have found a person who is...
Read Article > -
What is the Power Interest Matrix?
The Matrix is based on the amount of information and interest all the different stakeholders in a project have, and consequently the correct amount of communication each of these groups should receive. How can this be achieved?
Read Article > -
Common Characteristics of Leadership and Management
Leaders and managers share some common characteristics It is these characteristics that mark them out as leaders and managers. Two of these distinguishing characteristics are: 1. T...
Read Article > -
How to tell Truth from Falsehood
More on how to tell truth from falsehood - Part Two I previously posted a blog where I suggested that the practice of "keeping an open mind" is not a good practice. Since there is only one reality, there is, and there can only be, one true idea about any aspect...
Read Article >
Looking for Leadership and Management Training?
Do your team leaders need to attend any leadership and management training courses? If so, you may find this Leadership and Management Training Course beneficial:
Open Training Course Pricing and Availability
Next Open Course Starts in 22 days, Preston, places available