How Do I Manage My Friends After a Promotion?
You may have been recently promoted to a management role, where you are now managing your former peers and friends.
Consequently, there has been a shift in your work-relationships, since now you are their manager; their boss.
- Don't try to manage by courting popularity.
- Don't try to manage by demanding respect.
- Strive to EARN respect.
- Earn their respect by treating all people REASONABLY.
Some in your group won't like the idea of you suddenly becoming their boss.
You too, may feel awkward when you need to give them corrective feedback on their performance.
You find that you are caught between two opposing desires: You want to be an effective manager and you want to be their best buddy.
Here are the key points to handling this tricky situation:
1. Don't try to manage by courting popularity.
The biggest mistake you can make is to try to manage a team by attempting to be popular, all the time.
Recognise that the right thing is not always the popular thing.
The role of manager means that you sometimes must do things that are NOT popular.
And if you would prefer to court popularity, then management may not by your cup of tea.
Put your desire to be a crowd-pleaser on hold.
2. Strive to earn respect.
Your role as a manager requires that you earn their respect, not necessarily their agreement.
As a manager there will be many times when you must do things, they won't like, nor agree with.
This is a fact of life and it comes with the territory.
3. Remember too that you cannot demand respect.
Your management title does not give you automatic right to demand respect from the team.
Don't suddenly turn into a tyrant and try to lord it over the underlings.
It never works out well.
4. Always treat people reasonably.
The key word for you to think about is REASON. "Treat all people and all problems according to the principles of reason".
Reason is what Aristotle called, The Common Sense.
Reason means:
- Perceiving the facts clearly
- Making decisions logically
- Treating people with a consistent sense of justice
- Apply the same laws to everyone, irrespective of whether you like them or not
- Being consistent, no matter how you feel on any particular day.
Reason also means that you:
- Do not treat people unjustly,
- Nor are you ever disrespectful,
- Nor do you play to your own whimsical emotional preferences or unreasonable prejudices.
If you will use REASON as your guide, then you will always do the RIGHT thing, even if it is not popular.
When you treat all people and all problems according to the principles of reason, then they will have every reason to respect you and NO reason to dislike you, even if they don't agree with everything you have to do.
"Fix reason firmly in her seat,
and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion.
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one,
he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blindfolded fear." Thomas Jefferson
Earned Respect
In business, earned respect is the rule that a manager gains regard from the team only by acting fair, able, clear and humble each day. It never comes from the job title alone and will vanish the moment the manager stops showing these sound habits.
CG4D Definition
Context: Business
Genus: Principle
- Arises from steady, fair treatment of every team member
- Depends on visible skill and good choices that help the group
- Builds through open talk, clear aims and real listening
- Is given freely by others and fails if the manager tries to force it
Article Summary
When you manage friends after promotion, lead former peers by setting clear lines, treating everyone with calm reason and giving fair feedback; respect follows, even when choices are not popular.