Established, since 1997, leading UK based training provider.

How Do I Manage My Friends After a Promotion?

How Do I Manage My Friends After a Promotion?

How Do I Manage My Friends After a Promotion?

You may have been recently promoted to a management role, where you are now managing your former peers and friends.

Consequently, there has been a shift in your work-relationships, since now you are their manager; their boss.

  1. Don't try to manage by courting popularity.
  2. Don't try to manage by demanding respect.
  3. Strive to EARN respect.
  4. Earn their respect by treating all people REASONABLY.

Some in your group won't like the idea of you suddenly becoming their boss.

You too, may feel awkward when you need to give them corrective feedback on their performance.

You find that you are caught between two opposing desires: You want to be an effective manager and you want to be their best buddy.

Here are the key points to handling this tricky situation:

1. Don't try to manage by courting popularity.

The biggest mistake you can make is to try to manage a team by attempting to be popular, all the time.

Recognise that the right thing is not always the popular thing.

The role of manager means that you sometimes must do things that are NOT popular.

And if you would prefer to court popularity, then management may not by your cup of tea.

Put your desire to be a crowd-pleaser on hold.

2. Strive to earn respect.

Your role as a manager requires that you earn their respect, not necessarily their agreement.

As a manager there will be many times when you must do things, they won't like, nor agree with.

This is a fact of life and it comes with the territory.

3. Remember too that you cannot demand respect.

Your management title does not give you automatic right to demand respect from the team.

Don't suddenly turn into a tyrant and try to lord it over the underlings.

It never works out well.

4. Always treat people reasonably.

The key word for you to think about is REASON.

"Treat all people and all problems according to the principles of reason".

Reason is what Aristotle called, The Common Sense.

Reason means:

  • Perceiving the facts clearly
  • Making decisions logically
  • Treating people with a consistent sense of justice
  • Apply the same laws to everyone, irrespective of whether you like them or not
  • Being consistent, no matter how you feel on any particular day.

Reason also means that you:

  • Do not treat people unjustly,
  • Nor are you ever disrespectful,
  • Nor do you play to your own whimsical emotional preferences or unreasonable prejudices.

If you will use REASON as your guide, then you will always do the RIGHT thing, even if it is not popular.

When you treat all people and all problems according to the principles of reason, then they will have every reason to respect you and NO reason to dislike you, even if they don't agree with everything you have to do.

"Fix reason firmly in her seat,

and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion.

Question with boldness even the existence of a God;

because, if there be one,

he must more approve of the homage of reason,

than that of blindfolded fear." Thomas Jefferson

Blogs by Email

Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!

Your Comments

Further Reading in Leadership and Management

  • How Managers Can Gain Confidence Through Training
    Confidence comes through competence. To be a confident manager you need to know how to deal with a variety of situations successfully. You can do this by learning successful and proven formulae, on one of our popular management training courses.
    Read Article >
  • What are Negotiation Skills?
    Not everyone is a born negotiator, but negotiation skills can be learned. Being an effective negotiator requires good communication skills, the ability to persuade, together with planning and tactical skills.
    Read Article >
  • Management Problems
    The three major reasons for management problems are: other people, poor systems and mother nature. In order to manage effectively, we need to develop our management skills.
    Read Article >
  • Creating More Motivation
    We only have a certain amount of motivation. So knowing how to create more motivation, when you need it most, is important knowledge.
    Read Article >
  • How to make the impossible, possible
    Do you realise that your level of success is shaped by your dominant thoughts? Leaders can influence results by introducing new ideas and visions of a better future, in the minds of their followers. Be a better leader by being an influential leader.
    Read Article >