Posted 30 January 2015 by Chris Farmer
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How to be Respected at Work
Do you want to know how to be more respected?
Everyone wants to be respected at work. Nobody likes being disrespected. The thing to remember about respect is that it is not something you can demand; you sometimes hear people mistakenly say, "I demand respect!"
Respect is something you have to earn. It is something that people choose to give you, (or not).
Although you cannot force someone to give you respect, you can consciously set about creating the right emotional conditions for you to earn their respect.
You can consciously earn respect by taking three approaches.
- You can do things that tend to cause others to respect you.
- You can STOP doing things that tend to cause others to DIS-respect you.
- You can do both at the same time.
What things can you do that will tend to build respect?
Here is a good list of things to do more consciously and more systematically.
- Keep to all your commitments. If you say you will be there at 9am, and then be there at 9. (Or before). If you say you will do something, then do it. Keep your commitments.
- Prepare for every important event. Show up in a prepared state. Have the documents you need. Have the information to hand. Don't waste people's time by being ill prepared.
- At all times, be polite. Especially when you are asking people to do something, or issuing an instruction, please be polite at all times. Please learn to use the phrase, "Would you please" rather than saying, "I want you to...... do BLANK".
If you say, "I want you to go to Birmingham and pick up the materials" then you seem abrupt.
If you say, "Would you please go to Birmingham and pick up the materials", then you seem polite.
"Would you please........ (plus a polite request)," is a great speech habit to use.
Would you please, use it.
How to lose respect
Let us talk about how to lose respect:
1. Top of my list. The best method to lose respect is to dis-respect other people. You can disrespect people by breaking the above rules: by breaking your promises to them, by wasting their time by not being prepared, and by talking to them in an abrupt or rude manner.
In addition you can disrespect people who are absent by badmouthing or criticising them behind their back. This is extremely common but not a good practice. Humans tend to enjoy criticising people who are not there. As soon as the boss leaves the office, the team start talking about him (or her). This is dangerous because if you spend too much time criticising other people, behind their backs, then your own reputation suffers too.
2. Any form of dishonesty. If you prove to be dishonest in any form, then you lose respect: dishonest in what you say, dishonest in respect to your actions, dishonest in terms of property. Honesty is a high value commodity. Dishonesty is quite common and anyone who is dishonest loses the trust and respect of others.
3. Laziness. Being lazy is a great way to lose respect. If you don't pull your weight, if you don't do your fair share, then you will undoubtedly lose the respect of your colleagues. Make sure you are ready to work and do your fair share. Even better, try and go the extra mile and do a bit more than what others would expect and you will gain their added respect as a good worker.
Nobody wants to work with a slacker.
Everyone wants to work with a good worker.
- Don't demand respect. Instead, earn it.
- Keep your commitments.
- Be on time.
- Be prepared.
- Be polite at all times.
- Don't disrespect others.
- Don't bad-mouth the others who are not there.
- Don't be lazy. Do your fair share. And if you can, go the extra mile and do a little extra.
Then you will earn their respect.
First impressions really do count. Try our Do You Make a Good First Impression quiz to discover how do you rate when meeting a new acquaintance.