How to Overcome the Fear of Failure
How to Overcome the Fear of Failure
There are three primary emotions that motivate us;
- Desire. You are motivated to achieve your desires.
- Anger. Some people don't get out of their chair, until they are angry enough.
- Fear. Your fears will motivate you to fight or flight.
The "fight or flight" fear response
We tend run away from things we find fearful.
This is a natural and often beneficial response.
If you find yourself confronted by a real danger, such as a forest fire, then running away would seem to be; the correct response.
BUT life is more complicated than that, because we are often faced by situations that are not a physical threat; but are only social threat.
These social threats include:
- Making a public speech to a large audience.
- Presenting yourself in a job interview.
- Talking to a person whom you find attractive.
- Entering a competition where your friends will be in the audience.
- Starting a new business that you know may end in failure.
- Singing in a karaoke.
These situations are not actually physically dangerous, but they are psychologically dangerous, because we know we may fail, and we are afraid that we will look stupid or incompetent in front of our friends.
This is the commonest error in the world.
The commonest error in the world is to overestimate the significance of what other people may think of us.
The solution to the commonest error in the world.
The solution is simple.
Train yourself to NOT WORRY about what other people think if you try, but do not succeed.
Train yourself to be afraid only of those things that are physically dangerous, (eg forest fires).
And train yourself to be NOT afraid of those events that are only psychologically dangerous, (fluffing your lines at an audition).
Why it is essential that you don't pay much heed to your social fears.
It is important that you refuse to pay too much attention to these types of fears, because fear itself is enough to cause you to fail.
- If you are fearful, then you are more likely to fail.
- If you are not fearful, then you are more likely to succeed.
How to reduce your social fears.
Keep repeating to yourself the phrase... "I don't really care what they think".
- If you are making a speech, then say to yourself, "I don't really care what the audience thinks".
- If you are going on a job interview, say to yourself, "I will do my best and I don't really care what my friends might say, if I don't get it".
- If you are thinking of singing in a karaoke, then sing your heart out, all the time thinking, "I don't really care what they think, the fact is, I'm having a great time".
Your fears will diminish if you refuse to give too much weight to what other people think of you.
Do your best in every situation, focus on your performance, and forget what others think.
Then fear evaporates.
About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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