How to Manage your Emotions
How to Manage Your Emotions
Your emotions are created by two things: your current thinking and your fundamental beliefs.
- Your current thinking is whatever you are thinking about right now. Your current thoughts are constantly changing, moment by moment.
- Your fundamental beliefs are your unchanging assumptions that you make about the way the world really works, and where you fit in. Your beliefs are resistant to change.
Your emotions are the product of both your conscious thoughts, combined with your subconscious beliefs.
If you want to manage your emotions, then you need to "take back control" of your conscious thoughts and your subconscious beliefs.
Let us discuss the effects of your changing thoughts and your unchanging beliefs.
Controlling your conscious thoughts.
On a moment by moment basis, your emotions are governed by the content of your conscious mind.
Remember this phrase: "You feel whatever you think about."
- If you think about food, you'll feel hungry.
- If you think about your problems, you'll feel stressed.
- If you think that you will win, you'll feel confident.
- If you think you won't win, you won't feel confident.
You don't feel what IS, you feel what you THINK is.
Therefore, if you want to change how you feel, then you need to become more conscious of the thoughts that occupy your mind.
Pay attention to the content of your conscious mind. Strive to fill your mind with thoughts about how you could make your future better than the past.
- Strive to NOT think about the past.
- Strive to NOT think about the future as a fearful place.
In relation to your subconscious mind.
We know that your feelings are affected by your conscious mind and your current thinking, but on a more fundamental level, your emotions are founded on the content of your subconscious mind.
Your emotional programming is your underlying belief system about yourself and how you fit in to the social setting.
Your belief systems are more fundamental than your momentary thoughts. Your belief systems are designed to help you make sense of the world. Your belief system answers fundamental questions such as:
- Who am I?
- Where do I fit in?
- What am I capable of?
- What am I not capable of?
- Who is in charge?
- Is the world essentially a good or a bad place?
- Are other people an asset or a liability?
- Is my life governed by my own choices, or is it governed by other people, or by fate?
These questions, and many others, form the basis of your levels of confidence, optimism, motivation and happiness.
In relation to your belief systems.
If you believe yourself to be an intelligent, capable and morally good person, then you will feel positive emotions.
If you believe yourself to be unintelligent, incapable or morally deficient, then you will feel negative emotions.
Therefore, if you want to be happy, check the subconscious assumptions that you hold about the kind of person you think you are.
You are not what you think you are, but rather, what you THINK, you are!
In relation to your beliefs about the way the world works, and where you fit in.
If you believe the world to be a dangerous place and that you have no power to influence the events that affect you, then you will tend to feel negative.
If you believe that the world is a place full of wonderful opportunities and that you have the power to determine your own destiny, then you will tend to feel positive.
Therefore, if you want to be happy, check your subconscious assumptions about the way the world works. Try to build beliefs, that amplify your power to influence the events that shape your destiny.
To paraphrase Ayn Rand: "You have no choice about the fact that you need to believe in something. Your only choice is whether you choose your beliefs by a conscious, rational, disciplined process of thought, or let your subconscious accumulate a heap of falsehoods, contradictions, wishes, doubts and fears, that are thrown together by chance, but integrated by your subconscious mind to form a kind of mongrel mind-set which creates self-doubt, like a ball and chain, in the place where your mind's wings of confidence should have grown."
Definition: Emotion management
Context: Personal development. Genus: skill. Differentia: 1. Tracks and guides present thoughts. 2. Reviews long-held deep beliefs. 3. Replaces harmful ideas with helpful ones. 4. Directs feelings to support chosen aims.
Show CG4D Definition
- Tracks and guides present thoughts
- Reviews long-held deep beliefs
- Replaces harmful ideas with helpful ones
- Directs feelings to support chosen aims
Article Summary
Your feelings are not random; they rise from the thoughts you hold in the moment and the beliefs you keep beneath them. When you steer your mind toward helpful ideas and strengthen positive beliefs about yourself and the world, you take charge of every emotion that follows.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some questions that frequently get asked about this topic during our training sessions.
What creates emotions and how can I manage them?
How do conscious thoughts control feelings?
Can switching focus really lower stress quickly?
Why do deep beliefs affect my mood?
How do I spot and change a harmful belief?
What daily habit helps build confidence and self belief?
How can I keep a positive mindset all day?
Thought of something that's not been answered? Ask Us Today!
Did You Know: Key Statistics
In the UK, 60% of adults said they felt anxious at least some of the time during the previous two weeks, with worry about the future as the top cause (Mental Health Foundation, 2023). A 2024 University of Cambridge trial found that people who practised daily cognitive reframing for four weeks cut their self-reported stress by 30% compared with a control group.About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years' experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
Blogs by Email
Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!
Further Reading in Personal Effectiveness
-
How to get the best performance from yourself and others.
Learn how clarity in communication, rational decision making and a positive mindset help you get the best performance from yourself and others to achieve goals.
Read Article > -
How to Develop More Motivation
Use this four-step method to build motivation: set clear goals, list strong reasons, craft an action plan and act despite uncertainty. Stay motivated every day.
Read Article > -
How to cut costs and become more efficient
Learn five proven steps for cost reduction: simplify processes, separate goals, ask 'what for?', and align your team to increase efficiency and cut waste.
Read Article > -
Having the Last Word
Learn how to end an argument by letting others have the last word. This simple communication skill stops a row, avoids push-back, and plants ideas that grow.
Read Article > -
Don't be afraid to ask for help
Learn why asking for help at work boosts teamwork, cuts errors and lifts results, plus simple tips to give and receive support for shared success every day.
Read Article >
Looking for Personal Development Training?
If you're looking to develop your Personal Effectiveness Skills, you may find this Personal Development Training Course beneficial:
Open Training Course Pricing and Availability
Next Open Course Starts in 11 days, Birmingham, places available