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5 Steps to More Confidence

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Posted 08 May 2012 by Chris FarmerChris Farmer

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You may find the following will help with your Assertiveness skills training.

Five steps to help you gain more confidence

Confidence is a positive emotion based on the thought that you are able to master the problems that face you.

Example:
Mohamed Ali always controls his mind so that he projects the idea that he is able to master the problems and challenges that face him.

You will probably agree that Mohamed Ali is a supreme example of confidence: not only in his days fighting opponents inside the boxing ring but also in his on-going fight against racism in the '60s and '70s America and more recently, against Parkinson's disease.

Muhammad Ali says

"Impossible is just a word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given rather than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion.

Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare.

Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary.

Impossible is nothing."

Arnold Schwarzenegger is another athlete-politician who understands the importance of the mind and its effect on confident action.

"Strength does not come from winning.

Your struggles develop your strength.

When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

The mind is the limit. Only if the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, then you can do it.

"We all have great inner power. That power is self-confidence"

Contrast confidence with the negative: fear

Example:
A lack of confidence is the opposite: a negative emotion based on the thought that you are going to take a beating at the hands of the problems that face you.

By contrast what does Muhammad Ali say about the lack of confidence?

He says this:
"The person who is not courageous enough to take risks, will accomplish nothing in life".

George Shultz says:
"The minute you start talking about what you're going to do if you lose, you have lost."

Gandhi said- "The enemy is fear."

By what steps can you gain more confidence?

In order to gain confidence, take the following steps:

  1. Prepare your material
  2. Model excellence
  3. Practice your performance in advance
  4. Believe you can win
  5. Talk as if you are a winner

1. Prepare your material

Preparation is the act of identifying and gathering your resources, both mental and physical, and putting them into the right order.

Preparation is the key to confidence.

  1. If you know that you are well prepared, then you feel strong.
  2. If you know you're not - you don't.

Confidence requires preparation of resources.

If you want more confidence, then prepare in advance.

2. Model excellence

"Modelling excellence" means by observation others who are winning, find what works. If the other person is doing better than you, it is because of three reasons:

  1. He is doing some good things- that you are NOT doing.
  2. He is not doing some bad things that you ARE doing.
  3. Both 1 and 2 above!

Find a person who is doing better than you, and by observing her, find what works.

Find out by observation:

  1. What are the good things she is doing - that you are NOT doing.
  2. What are the bad things that you ARE doing - that she is not doing?
  3. Then change your actions to coincide with the model.

3. Practice your performance in advance

Remember that you get only what you train for.

If you can't do something it is only because you have done insufficient training and practice.

Findings from K. Anders Ericsson and his team at Florida State University:

"We agree that expert performance is different from normal performance.

However, we deny that these differences are due to innate talent.

With only a few exceptions, most notably height, we argue that the difference between expert performers and normal performance reflect a life-long period of deliberate effort to improve performance in a specific domain".

If you want more confidence, then practice your skills until you develop more competence. o Confidence comes from more competence.

  • More competence comes from practice.
  • Therefore, confidence comes from more practice.

4. Believe you can win

If confidence is "a positive emotion based on the thought that you are able to master the problems that face you", then you must practice the act of thinking this thought:

"I am capable of mastering the problems that face me".

Write that statement on your arm (or even get a tattoo).

Say it over and over to yourself - 200 times per day.

"I am capable of mastering the problems that face me".

A James Allen quote:

"Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful and pure thoughts.

By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later, discovers that he is the master gardener of his soul, the director of his life."

Realising that our actions, feelings and behaviour are the result of our own thoughts gives us the right psychology to create more confidence.

Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.

Therefore, say "I am capable of mastering the problems that face me" - to yourself, 200 times per day.

Simple.

But not easy.

5. Talk as if you are a winner

The above point refers to self-talk.

But it is important to tell others that you think that you are "capable of mastering the problems that face you".

If you don't believe in yourself, then nobody else will.

So, get into the habit of exhibiting confidence even if you don't feel it too strongly.

Arnold is not an American: Yet he went to America and became a world class athlete and property millionaire before the age of 25 years.

Arnold cannot act: Yet in the '80's he became the highest paid actor in the world.

Arnold is not always politically correct: Yet became a successful politician, the governor of California.

His secret is his attitude: Hear him:

"The secret is to make your mind work for you, not against you. That means constantly being positive, constantly setting up challenges that you can meet; either today, next week or next year".

You should see yourself always as expanding, of improving, of getting higher and higher to the top.

"I can't" should be stricken permanently from your vocabulary.

If you want more confidence, then - speak like a winner!

Let us give the last word to Muhammad Ali

"At home I am a nice guy:

But I don't want the world to know that!

Why?

Because I've found that Humble people, don't get very far.

"I am the greatest!"

I said that even before I knew I was.

I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was!

Muhammad Ali

It's simple! But not easy.

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