Don’T Argue Against People, Argue for What you Believe In
Don't Argue Against People, Argue For What You Believe In
There is a natural tendency for many of us to argue against an opponent's view when we do not agree with it, but this approach often leads us astray. When you argue against the other person's view, you spend most of your time talking about their position rather than explaining your own.
There is another problem too. When you argue against someone's view, they will usually argue in favour of it. As they repeat their own arguments, they strengthen their belief in them. Each time they defend their position, they attach more of their reputation, ego, and pride to it, which makes it harder for them to walk away from that belief.
This is why trying to dismantle the other person's view is tactically weak. Instead, take a different route. Ignore their view and focus fully on your own. State and restate your position, with the reasons that support it. Do not refer back to their view. Stay on your ground and build your case.
When the other person says, "XYZ is true", you can reply, "I understand that you think XYZ is true, but the reality is ABC", then return straight to your argument for ABC. Now the conversation is happening on your territory, and ABC becomes the centre of the discussion rather than XYZ.
If ABC is true, then in time the other person will see it.
To sum up, when you are in a disagreement, it is tempting to argue against their view, XYZ, while also arguing for your own, ABC. But splitting your focus weakens your position. Spend all your effort explaining why ABC is true. Do not mention XYZ. Let them move towards you, and the conversation will unfold on your terms. This is a far stronger way to handle argumentation.
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Definition: argue for your belief
In work talk, “argue for your belief” is a method where you keep your own view at the centre. You give clear, steady reasons for it, hold the talk on ground you set, do not attack the other side, and so cut ego fights and let sound ideas shine.
Show CG4D Definition
- Keeps your belief as the sole focus, not the rival view
- Presents repeated, clear reasons that back your belief
- Holds the talk within ground you choose and control
- Avoids personal attack, which lowers ego clash and invites agreement
Article Summary
When a debate starts, do not take apart the other person’s view; instead use every word to set out your own. By calmly repeating clear reasons for what you believe, you keep the stage, reduce ego fights and guide people to your side.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some questions that frequently get asked about this topic during our training sessions.
Why is arguing against someone seen as weak?
How does repeating an opponent’s view strengthen their belief?
What does "argue for your belief" mean in practice?
How can I keep a debate on my ground?
What role does ego play in heated arguments?
How do I reply when someone states a view I reject?
Will ignoring the other view ever seem rude?
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Did You Know: Key Statistics
The 2024 Edelman Trust Barometer found that 68% of respondents are more receptive to leaders who clearly state their own position instead of criticising the opposition. A 2023 McKinsey Global Survey on team collaboration showed that teams using solution-focused language reach agreement 35% faster than those engaging in fault-focused debate.About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years' experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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