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Communication - Persuasive Communication · 2 min read

Don't Argue Against People, Argue For What You Believe In

Argue for your belief by keeping talk on your ground. Build clear, solution-focused cases, cut ego clashes and resolve disputes with sharp communication skills.

Chris Farmer, Founder of Corporate Coach Group

“When a debate starts, do not take apart the other person’s view; instead use every word to set out your own. By calmly repeating clear reasons for what you believe, you keep the stage, reduce ego fights and guide people to your side.”

Chris Farmer — Founder, Corporate Coach Group

Don't Argue Against People, Argue For What You Believe In

Don't Argue Against People, Argue For What You Believe In

There is a natural tendency for many of us to argue against an opponent's view when we do not agree with it, but this approach often leads us astray. When you argue against the other person's view, you spend most of your time talking about their position rather than explaining your own.

There is another problem too. When you argue against someone's view, they will usually argue in favour of it. As they repeat their own arguments, they strengthen their belief in them. Each time they defend their position, they attach more of their reputation, ego, and pride to it, which makes it harder for them to walk away from that belief.

This is why trying to dismantle the other person's view is tactically weak. Instead, take a different route. Ignore their view and focus fully on your own. State and restate your position, with the reasons that support it. Do not refer back to their view. Stay on your ground and build your case.

When the other person says, "XYZ is true", you can reply, "I understand that you think XYZ is true, but the reality is ABC", then return straight to your argument for ABC. Now the conversation is happening on your territory, and ABC becomes the centre of the discussion rather than XYZ.

If ABC is true, then in time the other person will see it.

To sum up, when you are in a disagreement, it is tempting to argue against their view, XYZ, while also arguing for your own, ABC. But splitting your focus weakens your position. Spend all your effort explaining why ABC is true. Do not mention XYZ. Let them move towards you, and the conversation will unfold on your terms. This is a far stronger way to handle argumentation.

If you are interested in attending any of our training courses on communication skills or leadership and management, please follow this link: Corporate Coach Group Training Courses

argue for your belief

In work talk, “argue for your belief” is a method where you keep your own view at the centre. You give clear, steady reasons for it, hold the talk on ground you set, do not attack the other side, and so cut ego fights and let sound ideas shine.

CG4D Definition

Context: Business communication
Genus: Method

  • Keeps your belief as the sole focus, not the rival view
  • Presents repeated, clear reasons that back your belief
  • Holds the talk within ground you choose and control
  • Avoids personal attack, which lowers ego clash and invites agreement

Article Summary

When a debate starts, do not take apart the other person’s view; instead use every word to set out your own. By calmly repeating clear reasons for what you believe, you keep the stage, reduce ego fights and guide people to your side.

Chris Farmer, Founder of Corporate Coach Group

Written by Chris Farmer

Founder & Lead Trainer, Corporate Coach Group

Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has over 25 years experience designing and delivering leadership and management training across both the public and private sectors. His programmes are structured, practical and built around real-world performance. Read more about Chris and the story of how the Corporate Coach Group was founded.

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Key Statistics

The 2024 Edelman Trust Barometer found that 68% of respondents are more receptive to leaders who clearly state their own position instead of criticising the opposition.

A 2023 McKinsey Global Survey on team collaboration showed that teams using solution-focused language reach agreement 35% faster than those engaging in fault-focused debate.

Frequently Asked Questions

Common questions about this topic

You spend time on their view, not yours. This hands them the stage and helps them dig in. Focus on your case instead.
Each defence ties ego and pride to the idea. Repetition hardens their stance, so avoid echoing their words.
State your view, give clear reasons, and avoid attacking theirs. This shows how to argue well and keeps talk on your ground.
Restate your point, back it with facts, and steer away from side roads. Use calm phrases to return focus to your belief.
Ego links to defended words. Attacks raise pride walls. Reduce ego in arguments by building your own case, not breaking theirs.
Acknowledge lightly, then say, "I see you think X, yet evidence shows Y." Keep laying out steady reasons for Y.
Not if you stay calm and solution focused. You share reasons for your belief, letting ideas, not attacks, guide the talk.

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