Posted 10 June 2009 by Chris Farmer
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Conflict communication skills
You have to manage different character types.
Some people are easy to manage and some people are not easy.
You may find some people difficult to manage; especially in a conflict situation.
Let us think of a continuum with extremes of character on each end.
- On one end are the "toughies".
- On the other end are the "softies".
The toughies are:
- More confident
- More articulate
- Old hands
- Know the ropes
- Strong characters
- Less confident
- Less sure of themselves
You need to deliver the same type of message to varying types
So in some ways:
Your message must be THE SAME.
In other ways:
Your message must NOT BE THE SAME- it must be variable.
Your message must be THE SAME because the content will be the same for everyone.
Everyone is treated according to the same rules and principles.
Everyone is treated by you:
- In accordance with the law
- In accordance with company policy
- In accordance with the principles of professional politeness
That said, you need to be able to vary your delivery according to the nature of the person.
So, in some ways your message must NOT BE THE SAME- it must be variable.
How to talk to a" toughie"
Vary your Body language.
Be upright. Either standing or seated.
Reflective of theirs levels of eye contact.
If they do look at your eyes, you should look back into their eyes.
If they do not look into your eyes; do not glare into theirs.
- No pointing
- Don't point your finger
- Don't point your pen
If you want to gesture: Use open hand- palm down gestures to make emphasis.
More volume than normal
More intensity than normal
How to talk to a "softy"
Vary your Body language
Be sat down, and or have a relaxed posture
Less direct eye contact: Intermittent eye contact
Use not many hand gestures
Adopt a more muted style
Volume: Use a low volume
Intensity: Use low intensity voice tones
The Key points to remember:
The way you deliver your message must be:
- The same in terms of content.
- Variable in terms of style.
The style should vary NOT according to your mood.
The style should vary according to the nature of the person you are talking to.