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Conflict Communication Skills

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Posted 10 June 2009 by Chris FarmerChris Farmer

Personal Development Courses

We offer both:
• Bespoke in-house training.
These can be tailored to your specific needs.
• Open training courses at locations near you.
You may find the following will help with the training of your team leaders and managers.

Conflict communication skills


You have to manage different character types.
Some people are easy to manage and some people are not easy.
You may find some people difficult to manage; especially in a conflict situation.

Let us think of a continuum with extremes of character on each end.

  1. On one end are the "toughies".
  2. On the other end are the "softies".

The toughies are:

  • More confident
  • More articulate
  • Old hands
  • Know the ropes
  • Strong characters

Softies are:

  • Less confident
  • Introverted
  • Less sure of themselves
  • Inexperienced

Conflict Management

Conflict Management Training

Conflict is inevitable, because people disagree. Therefore, you must be able to handle conflict situations effectively. You must know how to be assertive, clear and professional (not emotional, upset and angry) whilst in conflict. If you want to learn more on how to achieve this, please click here to see our conflict management training.

You need to deliver the same type of message to varying types

So in some ways:
Your message must be THE SAME.

In other ways:
Your message must NOT BE THE SAME- it must be variable.

Your message must be THE SAME because the content will be the same for everyone.
Everyone is treated according to the same rules and principles.

Everyone is treated by you:

  • Fairly
  • In accordance with the law
  • In accordance with company policy
  • In accordance with the principles of professional politeness

That said, you need to be able to vary your delivery according to the nature of the person.
So, in some ways your message must NOT BE THE SAME- it must be variable.

How to talk to a" toughie"

Vary your Body language.


Be upright. Either standing or seated.

Eye contact

Reflective of theirs levels of eye contact.
If they do look at your eyes, you should look back into their eyes.

If they do not look into your eyes; do not glare into theirs.


  • No pointing
  • Don't point your finger
  • Don't point your pen

If you want to gesture: Use open hand- palm down gestures to make emphasis.

Voice tone

More volume than normal

More intensity than normal

How to talk to a "softy"
Vary your Body language


Be sat down, and or have a relaxed posture

Eye contact:

Less direct eye contact: Intermittent eye contact


Use not many hand gestures
Adopt a more muted style

Voice tone:

Volume: Use a low volume
Intensity: Use low intensity voice tones

The Key points to remember:

The way you deliver your message must be:

  1. The same in terms of content.
  2. Variable in terms of style.

The style should vary NOT according to your mood.
The style should vary according to the nature of the person you are talking to.

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