Communication Skills: Listen-Out for What is Not Being Said
Listen-Out for What is NOT Being Said
When listening to another person who is trying to convince you to accept an idea, or opinion, it is often very important to listen out for what is NOT being said, ie you need to be concerned with what the other person is taking for granted, or assuming to be true, but not stating explicitly.
It is important because, what is left-out is often crucial to the argument and the missing statement may be dubious or false. You need therefore, to identify any missing, but dubious or false information that the other is leaving out of his argument.
Let me explain. Reasoning is based on three line arguments. Two starting premises leading to a conclusion.
For example:
- Everyone who wants to succeed needs good ideas.
- You are a person who wants to succeed.
- Therefore, you need good ideas.
- The first line is the major premise.
- The second line is the minor premise.
- The third line is the conclusion.
In conversation, and in writing, most people do not give all three statements, because it would be tedious and annoying to do so. BUT that does not mean that the three lines don't matter. They do.
It is simply that most people assume, or take for granted one (or two) of the lines and leave the other(s) unstated and assumed.
I could say, "You need good ideas, because everyone who wants to succeed needs them". (I miss out line 2)
I could say, "You are a person who wants to succeed, so you need good ideas" ( I have missed out line 1).
I could say, "If you want to succeed, you need good ideas." (Missing out line 1 again).
I could simply say, "You need good ideas!" (Missing out lines 1 and 2).
I would be assuming lines 1 and 2.
The same thing happens all the time. So, you need to become sensitive to what is being missed out.
Exercise:
Have a look at the following and tell me what you think is not being said, but is assumed.
"You must follow the speed limit, because it is the law". (What is the missing major premise?)
"You are a man so you can't multi-task". (What is the missing premise?)
"It is the right thing to do, my feelings tell me so". (What is the missing premise?)
Do you get the idea? Listen carefully to what people are saying; try to figure out the missing premises that the person is NOT saying.
Then test the missing premise to see if it makes sense to you.
Then you would be an intelligent listener. How to be a good listener.
Communication Skills Training
Do you ever think to yourself, "I know what I mean, but I can't explain it"? You need to be able communicate facts, feelings, information and ideas, in a clear, professional and confident manner. If you want to learn more about our communication skills training, please click here.
Answers to Exercise:
1 All laws must be obeyed.
2 No man can multi-task.
3 The assumption is that feelings (emotions) are a reliable guide to correct action.
About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
Blogs by Email
Do you want to receive an email whenever we post a new blog? The blogs contain article 5-10 minutes long - ideal for reading during your coffee break!
Further Reading in Communication - Listening Skills
-
Three Levels of Listening
Listening is one aspect of communication, and which can be categorised into 3 different levels. How do you listen? Do you pretend to listen, or do you listen with intent to criticise or disapprove, or do you listen to understand?
Read Article > -
How to ask the right questions
How to ask the right questions Communication skills training includes how to ask the right questions. In any conversation, there is always the danger of some misinterpretation of the meaning of the message. The causes of the misinterpretation are many and each cause can be averted by asking the right question...
Read Article > -
How to Improve Active Listening Skills
Active listening is a useful skill to master, not only you will gain a more in-depth understanding of what is being talked about, but Managers who are active listeners will develop a better working relationship with their team.
Read Article > -
How to Ask Good Questions
People are judged by their questions rather than by their answers. Are you stuck in a rut, not progressing in your career? Learning to ask good questions is key to your learning and understanding. Here are some great questions you can use.
Read Article > -
Leadership Listening Skills
Learn the four essential steps to improve leadership listening skills and build trust. Understand without bias, evaluate carefully, and respond with meaningful action. Elevate team communication and decision-making by mastering active listening.
Read Article >
Looking for Communication Skills Training?
If you're looking to develop your Listening Skills, you may find this Communication Skills Training Course beneficial:
Open Training Course Pricing and Availability
Next Open Course Starts in 23 days, Preston, places available