The Nlp Meta Model
The NLP Meta Model: Clear Thinking, Clear Communication.
The NLP Meta Model is a tool used in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) to help us understand and clarify the way we think and talk. In daily conversations, people often make mistakes that can lead to confusion or misunderstandings. These mistakes fall into three main categories: Deletions, Distortions, and Generalisations. The Meta Model helps us identify these mistakes and ask the right questions to get to the root of what someone truly means.
The beauty of the Meta Model is that it is a systematic and learnable way to ask probing questions.
By learning how to ask these probing questions, we can uncover missing information, correct misleading thoughts, and break down assumptions. Let's dive into these three areas-Deletions, Distortions, and Generalisations-and see how the Meta Model can improve how we communicate.
Deletions: Filling in the Missing Gaps
In conversations, people often leave out important details, either because they think it's obvious or they want to keep things short. This is where deletions come in. When we delete parts of information, we create gaps that need to be filled.
- How do you know? - If someone says, "Germans lack a sense of humour," you can ask, "How do you know?"
- Challenge Comparisons - "It is very small," → "Compared to what?"
- Unspecified Subjects - "They always mess up the order," → "Who is 'they'?"
- Unspecified Verbs - "I need to improve my results," → "Exactly how will you improve them?"
Distortions: Correcting Faulty Thinking
Distortions happen when our mind changes its description of reality without us realising it. We may exaggerate or oversimplify situations. By spotting distortions, we can correct our thinking and find the truth.
- Nominalisations - "There's a lot of anger." → "Who is angry about what?"
- Cause and Effect - "I failed because I'm not smart enough." → "What else could have caused the failure?"
- Mind Reading - "You think I'm lazy." → "How do you know what I'm thinking?"
- Complex Equivalence - "You didn't answer my call, so you must be angry with me." → "How does not answering mean I'm angry?"
- Passive Voice - "Mistakes were made." → "Who made the mistakes?"
Generalisations: Breaking Down Personal Rules
Generalisations are when people create broad rules based on limited experiences. These rules are often unfair or untrue but are treated as if they apply to every situation.
- Universal Statements - "You always forget everything!" → "Always?"
- Necessity and Impossibility - "I must finish by 3 PM." → "What would happen if you didn't?" or "I can't do it." → "What if you could?"
- Questioning Assumptions - "Why am I so unlucky?" → "Who says you're unlucky?"
- Belief Challenge - "This place is supposed to be haunted." → "Do you believe in ghosts?"
The Power of the Meta Model in Daily Life
By understanding these common errors in thinking and communication, you can use the Meta Model to improve both how you speak and how you listen.
When you ask the right Meta Model questions, you challenge assumptions, clarify thoughts, uncover missing elements, and challenge presumptions which may not be valid.
Meta Model helps us to think more critically. This tool is powerful because it cuts through vague or misleading language, bringing more information to any conversation.
Meta Model Summary Table
| Category | Characteristic | Example | Meta Model Question |
|---|---|---|---|
| Deletion | How do you know? | "Germans lack a sense of humour." | "How do you know Germans lack a sense of humour?" |
| Comparisons | "It's a bit small." | "Smaller than what?" | |
| Unspecified Subjects | "They always mess up the order." | "Who is 'they'?" | |
| Unspecified Verbs | "I need to improve my results." | "How will you improve the results?" | |
| Distortion | Nominalisations | "There's a lot of anger." | "Who is angry about what?" |
| Cause and Effect | "I failed because I'm not smart enough." | "I'm not convinced you're not smart enough, what else could have caused the failure?" | |
| Mind Reading | "You think I'm lazy." | "Since you can't read my mind, how can you say that?" | |
| Complex Equivalence | "You didn't invite me, so you must be angry at me." | "How does not inviting you mean I'm angry?" | |
| Passive Voice | "Mistakes were made." | "Who made the mistakes?" | |
| Generalisation | Universal Statements | "You always forget." | "Always?" |
| Necessity/Impossibility | "I can't do it." | "What if you could?" | |
| Questioning Assumptions | "Why am I so unlucky?" | "Who says you're unlucky?" |
About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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