The Nlp Meta Model

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The NLP Meta Model: Clear Thinking, Clear Communication.

The NLP Meta Model is a tool used in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) to help us understand and clarify the way we think and talk. In daily conversations, people often make mistakes that can lead to confusion or misunderstandings. These mistakes fall into three main categories: Deletions, Distortions, and Generalisations. The Meta Model helps us identify these mistakes and ask the right questions to get to the root of what someone truly means.

The beauty of the Meta Model is that it is a systematic and learnable way to ask probing questions.

By learning how to ask these probing questions, we can uncover missing information, correct misleading thoughts, and break down assumptions. Let's dive into these three areas-Deletions, Distortions, and Generalisations-and see how the Meta Model can improve how we communicate.

Deletions: Filling in the Missing Gaps

In conversations, people often leave out important details, either because they think it's obvious or they want to keep things short. This is where deletions come in. When we delete parts of information, we create gaps that need to be filled.

• How do you know? - If someone says, "Germans lack a sense of humour," you can ask, "How do you know?"
• Challenge Comparisons - "It is very small," → "Compared to what?"
• Unspecified Subjects - "They always mess up the order," → "Who is 'they'?"
• Unspecified Verbs - "I need to improve my results," → "Exactly how will you improve them?"

Distortions: Correcting Faulty Thinking

Distortions happen when our mind changes its description of reality without us realising it. We may exaggerate or oversimplify situations. By spotting distortions, we can correct our thinking and find the truth.

• Nominalisations - "There's a lot of anger." → "Who is angry about what?"
• Cause and Effect - "I failed because I'm not smart enough." → "What else could have caused the failure?"
• Mind Reading - "You think I'm lazy." → "How do you know what I'm thinking?"
• Complex Equivalence - "You didn't answer my call, so you must be angry with me." → "How does not answering mean I'm angry?"
• Passive Voice - "Mistakes were made." → "Who made the mistakes?"

Generalisations: Breaking Down Personal Rules

Generalisations are when people create broad rules based on limited experiences. These rules are often unfair or untrue but are treated as if they apply to every situation.

• Universal Statements - "You always forget everything!" → "Always?"
• Necessity and Impossibility - "I must finish by 3 PM." → "What would happen if you didn't?" or "I can't do it." → "What if you could?"
• Questioning Assumptions - "Why am I so unlucky?" → "Who says you're unlucky?"
• Belief Challenge - "This place is supposed to be haunted." → "Do you believe in ghosts?"

The Power of the Meta Model in Daily Life

By understanding these common errors in thinking and communication, you can use the Meta Model to improve both how you speak and how you listen.

When you ask the right Meta Model questions, you challenge assumptions, clarify thoughts, uncover missing elements, and challenge presumptions which may not be valid.

Meta Model helps us to think more critically. This tool is powerful because it cuts through vague or misleading language, bringing more information to any conversation.

Meta Model Summary Table

About the Author: Chris Farmer

Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.

Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.

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Further Reading in Communication - Clear Communication

• How to Prevent Misunderstandings
  Not everyone is on the same wavelength as you, and therefore misunderstandings can occur when you speak to people. Whether your message is complex or your audience reluctant to listen, read our great tips to prevent misunderstandings happening.
  Read Article >
• Communication Skills: Clear, Rational and Positive
  Do people always understand what you mean, or do you leave ambiguities in your message? Empower yourself by making your communication clear, rational and positive, in order to engage people and get your ideas across and accepted.
  Read Article >
• Virtual Presenting Skills
  With more presentations than ever being held online, Presenters have had to adjust their presentation styles in order to keep and maintain the interest of their virtual audience. Join us for our FREE webinar on Virtual Presenting Skills.
  Read Article >
• The Six Barriers of Successful Communication
  In order to be successful, we need to be able to communicate well with others. There are many barriers that can cause breakdowns in communication, which you need to be aware of and deal with effectively.
  Read Article >
• How Language Causes Confusion
  Ambiguity in business can be damaging both for your reputation and your finances. To avoid potential confusion when communicating with colleagues and customers, take a look at these five ways where ambiguous language should be avoided.
  Read Article >

Looking for Communication Skills Training?

If you're looking to develop your Clear Communication Skills, you may find this Communication Skills Training Course beneficial:

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Next Open Course Starts in 11 days, London - Central, places available Book Now >