How to Motivate Someone to Change
How to Motivate Someone to Change
To motivate people to change, use the Pleasure / Pain Questioning Technique (PPQT).
In order to motivate change in someone, ask these two questions and try to get multiple answers to each. The more answers to each question you can get, the better this technique will work to persuade others to change.
- What are the LONG-TERM painful consequences you will suffer if you don't change (ie keep doing it)?
- What are the LONG-TERM pleasurable benefits you will enjoy if you do change?
Ask these questions, in the order given, (PAIN then PLEASURE) and get as many answers as you can for both questions.
Here are some examples of how you might use this technique:
Imagine you want someone to stop over-spending.
What are the LONG-TERM painful consequences you will suffer if you keep spending more money than you earn?
What are the LONG-TERM pleasurable benefits you will enjoy if you spent slightly LESS than you earned, and invested a little, every month?
Imagine you want someone to stop over-eating.
What are the LONG-TERM painful consequences you will suffer if you keep overeating; consuming more calories than you need?
What are the LONG-TERM pleasurable benefits you would enjoy if you controlled your intake, so you were consuming slightly fewer calories than you need?
Imagine you want someone to stop talking too harshly.
What are the LONG-TERM painful consequences you will suffer if you keep talking to people so harshly that they don't want to work with you?
What are the LONG-TERM pleasurable benefits you would enjoy if you moderated your communication style, softened your approach, so that people would be very happy to work with you?
The pleasure pain principle.
The important thing to remember about people, is they tend to avoid pain and move towards pleasure.
So, you need to associate PAIN with not changing, and associate PLEASURE with making the change.
But you cannot tell them, you must ASK them.
- If you TELL them, they will fight you.
- If you ASK them the right questions, they will persuade themselves.
The moral of the story is: Learn and apply the Pleasure Pain Questioning Technique.
Definition: Pleasure–Pain Questioning Technique
The Pleasure–Pain Questioning Technique is a way for managers and coaches to spark change. In business, it works by asking a person first about the long-term hurt they will face if they do not change and then about the long-term joy they will gain if they do. The person lists the answers, so the drive to act comes from inside.
Show CG4D Definition
- Uses two questions: long-term pain of not changing and long-term pleasure of changing
- Always asks the pain question before the pleasure question
- Requires the person to give their own answers, not receive advice
- Links those answers to the basic drive to avoid pain and seek pleasure to spark action
Article Summary
To motivate someone, stop giving orders and start asking: What long-term pain will you face if you stay the same, and what long-term pleasure will you gain if you change? This Pleasure–Pain Questioning Technique lets people list their own reasons, switch fear into drive, and commit to lasting behaviour change.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some questions that frequently get asked about this topic during our training sessions.
What does the Pleasure–Pain Questioning Technique involve?
Why do we mention long-term pain before long-term pleasure?
How many answers should I aim for when using PPQT?
Can I motivate myself with the same questioning technique?
What if the person refuses to discuss painful outcomes?
Will PPQT help a manager change harsh communication at work?
How far ahead should I frame the long-term benefits and costs?
Thought of something that's not been answered? Ask Us Today!
Did You Know: Key Statistics
A 2024 Behavioural Insights Team experiment found that asking loss-framed questions raised commitment to a new habit by 27% compared with giving direct advice. The 2025 Deloitte Human Capital Trends survey reports that 68% of organisations see higher staff engagement when managers use coaching questions rather than commands.About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years' experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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