How to Motivate Someone to Change
To motivate people to change, use the Pleasure / Pain Questioning Technique (PPQT).
In order to motivate change in someone, ask these two questions and try to get multiple answers to each. The more answers to each question you can get, the better this technique will work to persuade others to change.
- What are the LONG-TERM painful consequences you will suffer if you don't change (ie keep doing it)?
- What are the LONG-TERM pleasurable benefits you will enjoy if you do change?
Ask these questions, in the order given, (PAIN then PLEASURE) and get as many answers as you can for both questions.
Here are some examples of how you might use this technique:
Imagine you want someone to stop over-spending.
What are the LONG-TERM painful consequences you will suffer if you keep spending more money than you earn?
What are the LONG-TERM pleasurable benefits you will enjoy if you spent slightly LESS than you earned, and invested a little, every month?
Imagine you want someone to stop over-eating.
What are the LONG-TERM painful consequences you will suffer if you keep overeating; consuming more calories than you need?
What are the LONG-TERM pleasurable benefits you would enjoy if you controlled your intake, so you were consuming slightly fewer calories than you need?
Imagine you want someone to stop talking too harshly.
What are the LONG-TERM painful consequences you will suffer if you keep talking to people so harshly that they don't want to work with you?
What are the LONG-TERM pleasurable benefits you would enjoy if you moderated your communication style, softened your approach, so that people would be very happy to work with you?
The pleasure pain principle.
The important thing to remember about people, is they tend to avoid pain and move towards pleasure.
So, you need to associate PAIN with not changing, and associate PLEASURE with making the change.
But you cannot tell them, you must ASK them.
- If you TELL them, they will fight you.
- If you ASK them the right questions, they will persuade themselves.
The moral of the story is: Learn and apply the Pleasure Pain Questioning Technique.
Pleasure–Pain Questioning Technique
The Pleasure–Pain Questioning Technique is a way for managers and coaches to spark change. In business, it works by asking a person first about the long-term hurt they will face if they do not change and then about the long-term joy they will gain if they do. The person lists the answers, so the drive to act comes from inside.
CG4D Definition
Context: Business
Genus: Technique
- Uses two questions: long-term pain of not changing and long-term pleasure of changing
- Always asks the pain question before the pleasure question
- Requires the person to give their own answers, not receive advice
- Links those answers to the basic drive to avoid pain and seek pleasure to spark action
Article Summary
To motivate someone, stop giving orders and start asking: What long-term pain will you face if you stay the same, and what long-term pleasure will you gain if you change? This Pleasure–Pain Questioning Technique lets people list their own reasons, switch fear into drive, and commit to lasting behaviour change.