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How to Build More Self-Esteem

How to Build More Self-Esteem

How to Build More Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a measure of how good you feel about yourself.

People who suffer with low levels of self-esteem, don't feel good about themselves, and as a result, they under-perform in all areas; socially, economically, professionally and intellectually. In addition, their subjective experience of life is diminished, so they lack peace of mind.

On the other hand, those people who enjoy high levels of self-esteem, are those who feel at ease with themselves, and as a result, they perform better in all areas. They enjoy greater levels of success and they experience a better quality of life, so they are happier and have greater peace of mind.

Clearly, it is important to know how to raise your self-esteem.

Here is a list of things that will improve your levels of self-esteem:

  1. Don't hold yourself up against unreasonable standards of perfection.
  2. Compare yourself against a more reasonable standard.
  3. The "more reasonable standard" is "yourself, as you were yesterday".
  4. Self-esteem is built, step by step; by progressing and improving upon your performance yesterday.
  5. Learn something new, every day.
  6. Specialise in an activity, so you become known for being a relative expert in, at least, one thing.
  7. Be like an actor, who is playing the role of a person with high levels of self-esteem.
  8. Dress for the part.
  9. Act the part.
  10. Over time, you will develop the self-esteem of the character you are portraying.

Judge yourself against a reasonable standard.

People with low self esteem, tend to measure themselves and their performance against unrealistic standards.

For example, some people (unconsciously) compare themselves and / or their physical appearance against the standard of an idealised vision of perfection. Or against the standard of a Hollywood movie star, or against the standard of a person much younger or much older than themselves.

If you compare yourself against an unreasonable standard, then you can never win, and you will never feel good enough.

And not feeling good enough is the foundation of a low self-esteem.

Antidote: If you want to improve your self-esteem, only measure yourself against how YOU were, yesterday and set yourself the goal of improving a little bit on yesterday's performance.

Self-esteem is built upon the principle of progress. If you feel that you are progressing, even by just a tiny margin, then you will begin to feel better about yourself.

Specialise in something and become more knowledgeable and skilled, in at least, one thing.

People with low self-esteem don't feel they are good at anything. As a result, they find it harder to feel good about themselves.

Antidote: Become more knowledgeable in one thing. (ie relative to the other people in your circle of associates).

If you specialise in something, (anything!) and learn a lot about it, then that specialised knowledge makes you stand-out and sets you apart; it gives you something to be justly proud of.

You need to give yourself reasons to assess yourself as being "good at something" (as opposed to being "good for nothing").

People with low levels of self-esteem feel as if they are good for nothing.

The antidote is specialised knowledge and skill.

Present yourself well, in terms of your dress code and grooming.

People with low self esteem tend to neglect their dress code and sometimes even their grooming. They don't shave, don't wear make-up, don't wear flattering clothes. As a result, they look less than their best, other people respond to their lackadaisical appearance, and they may respond poorly.

These poor responses from other people rebound on the sender and the person of low self-esteem feels even worse.

Antidote. Dress the part. Make an effort and dress as if you were feeling good about yourself. Make yourself the best you can be, or at least, better than yesterday.

Again, take your time, and bit by bit improve your dress code and grooming.

Then, people will pick up on your positive stimulus and they will respond more positively. This new improved response will rebound on you and you will feel a higher level of self-esteem.

Feel good about yourself

Improve your self-esteem and feel good about yourself:

  • Don't hold yourself up against unreasonable standards of perfection.
  • Hold yourself up against a more reasonable standard. The "more reasonable standard" is "yourself, as you were yesterday".
  • Self-esteem is built, step by step; by progressing and improving upon your performance yesterday.
  • Learn something new, every day.
  • Specialise in an activity, so you become known for being a relative expert in, at least, one thing.
  • Be like an actor, who is playing the role of a person with high levels of self-esteem. Dress well. Act the part.
  • Over time, you will develop the self-esteem of the character you are portraying.

About the Author: Chris Farmer

Chris

Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.

Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.

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