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Four Personal Effectiveness Training Skills

Four Personal effectiveness training skills

In order to get the best from yourself and others what are the skills and knowledge you need to develop?
There are many skills relating to personal effectiveness.
But we will focus on four essential skills.

Four essential personal effectiveness skills.

There are four major skills sets:

  1. The ability to set and achieve specific goals.
  2. The ability to communicate with accurate language.
  3. The ability to handle conflict rationally, not emotionally.
  4. The ability to create a positive mental attitude, especially during tough times.

Four more ways to fail

There are four corresponding potential points of failure.

  1. Instead being driven by your goals, you are driven by the environment.
  2. Instead of using accurate language, you use ambiguous language which leads to misunderstandings and avoidable errors.
  3. Instead of handling conflict situations rationally, you become emotional: either you become angry, upset or you evade the conflict and run away.
  4. During tough times, instead of becoming stronger and more determined, you become more depressed, dispirited and defeated.

Let us look at each of the positive skills in turn.

1. The ability to set and achieve specific goals

What is the difference between a legitimate goal and a delusional fantasy?
Discussion of the differences between a wish and a goal.

Goals need to be:

  • Specific.
  • Numerically defined.
  • Have all their major terms clearly expressed.
  • Goals need to be tracked.
  • Goals need to be planned for.
  • Goals require an increase in skills and knowledge.
  • The obstacles to your goals need to be identified and countermeasures put in place.
  • Goals need to have deadlines.

2. The ability to communicate with accurate language

Communication is the transfer of information and emotion.

  • How to transfer information without error.
  • Talk about what you want, rather than what you don't want.
  • Talk about what you can do, rather than what you cannot do.
  • Talk about what you support, not what you oppose.
  • Learn to listen for conclusions and reasons.
  • Listen for their conclusions, (i.e. what they believe to be true, good or right).
  • Listen for their reasons, (i.e. why they believe it to be true, good or right).

3. The ability to handle conflict rationally, not emotionally

Because each of us has our own ideas, conflict is inevitable.
Conflict is inevitable and must be managed rationally.
Emotionalised conflict means; getting angry, upset or tearful when in conflict situations.

How to be rational. When in conflict situations:

  • Use only objective, not subjective, language.
  • State objectively what is wrong.
  • State objectively what would be a corrective action.
  • Ask for commitment.
  • Distinguish between reasons and excuses.
  • Give concessions to reasons.
  • Don't give concessions to excuses.
  • Be more aware of your voice tones and body language.
  • Verbally appreciate any change towards your ideal solution.

4. The ability to create a positive mental attitude, especially during tough times.

During tough times it is important to become stronger, not weaker.
When faced by a series of setbacks or defeats, many people do become weaker, despondent or depressed.

When faced by a series of setbacks or defeats, it is important to become more determined more focused and more positive that you can still win. This is mental toughness. This is a positive mental attitude.

A positive mental attitude can be cultivated.
A positive mental attitude can be developed purposefully.

  1. Control your mind.
  2. Control your conversation.
  3. Control what you expose yourself to.
  4. Control the focus of your mind and direct it towards visions of a better future.
  5. Control the focus of their conversation and keep it off visions of a fearful future.

Develop the Four essential personal effectiveness skills.

  1. Develop The ability to set and achieve specific goals.
  2. Develop The ability to communicate with accurate language.
  3. Develop The ability to handle conflict rationally, not emotionally.
  4. Develop The ability to create a positive mental attitude, especially during tough times.

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