Take Pride In Yourself
Take Pride in Yourself
We have mixed associations to the idea of being proud. Many people think that to be proud of yourself, is not a good thing, and yet think badly of someone who seems to have no pride in themselves.
We don't like people who seem to "like themselves too much" yet we are taught that it is good to have "high levels of self-esteem", a "healthy ego".
You should strive to develop pride in yourself by developing the qualities that justify the pride.
Pride should not be confused with arrogance. The arrogant man is too self-centred and seeks to gain self-esteem by bragging, or boasting.
By contrast, a person with true pride, does not feel the need to boast. A proud person always does their fair share of the work. They never steal, cheat and they take care of their appearance. A proud person would feel good about themselves, not because they are big-headed, but because they believe that they have the right to hold themselves up. A proud person would not be overly humble. They would regard too much humility as a sign of a lack of self-esteem.
You Can Redefine Yourself
Your personality is defined by your self-image. Your self-image is the sum of all your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about who you are. What you were told as you grew up, you accepted as true about yourself, and it became a part of your self-image. Now you are an adult, you speak, dress, act and react only in ways that are consistent with your self-image.
You succeed in life only as far as your self-image will allow you to succeed. Therefore, your self-image is something that you should consciously work to improve.
You can discover your self-image, by listening to what descriptive words you would feel comfortable putting after the words, "I am....." Which of these statements would you be happy attaching? "I am lucky", "I am a good public speaker", "I am a good driver", "I am a confident person."
These are examples of good self-image statements.
On the other hand, "I am rubbish at maths", "I am unlucky", "I am not very good looking," "I am shy", are examples of poor self-image statements.
Don't be too quick to say derogatory things about yourself to anyone, especially to yourself. People will tend to estimate you no higher than you estimate yourself.
If you think you'll lose, you will. If you say you are outclassed, you are. Self-doubt become a self-reinforcing system
Each time you hear yourself expressing a negative self-image, then consider challenging it.
If you say "I am unlucky"; just reverse it. Say "Sometimes I am very lucky". If you say, "I'm no good at maths", instead say, "I need to improve my maths".
In other words, don't accept the limitations that were imposed upon you by others and by yourself as you grew up. You can, and should, consciously be rewiring your subconscious mind to build into it more progressive thoughts about who you are and what you are capable of.
Then you will be happier, healthier, and more productive.
A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Every action you take, or fail to take, is a cause-set-in-motion. Every action you take is preceded by a thought.
- Your thoughts influence your actions.
- Your actions influence your external results.
- Therefore, your thoughts influence your external results.
As a leader manager you become what you think about! All great leaders are aware of the power they have to direct their thoughts.
- If you think you will lose, then you are lost.
- If you think you will win, then you gain confidence.
- If you think he will reject your proposal, then he probably will.
- You don't always get what you want: but you do tend to get what you expect.
- If you keep thinking about food, you will be motivated to eat.
- If you think that you are incapable of making a good public speech, you will feel nervous and full of self-doubt. If you are full of self-doubt and nerves, then you will be incapable of making a good speech.
This is called the self-fulfilling prophecy. The self-fulfilling prophecy can work for you, or against you.
Make it work for you, by controlling the thoughts that you allow to remain in your mind. If you choose your thoughts wisely and maintain that control, then you will gain mastery over your environment. If you don't take control over your own mind, then you will become the puppet of your environment.
So, choose what you think about because your thoughts will determine your levels of confidence, levels of motivation, the direction of your actions, and ultimately your destiny.
Strive to use the power of the self-fulfilling prophecy to your own advantage.
There is Nothing to Fear, But Fear Itself
There are three primary emotions that motivate the human mind:
1. Fear is a motivator.
If you are filled with enough fear, then you will be motivated to run away or fight off a threat (fight or flight response). But fear is a NEGATIVE motivator; negative in the sense that it upsets the soul, wrecks relationships and undermines peace of mind.
2. Anger is a motivator.
If you are angry enough, that will spur you into taking action to retaliate or seek revenge. Anger is a NEGATIVE motivator. You don't function well when you are angry. Anger negatively affects your judgement and your relationships with others.
3. Desire is a motivator.
Desire is a positive motivator. When you are looking forward to something, then you feel hopeful, excited, encouraged, enthusiastic and energetic. This is the kind of motivation that one should cultivate.
Fear is the most pernicious because it is the most common. Your mental and emotional health depends upon your ability to limit the damage done by negative emotions of fear and anger. Don't allow advertisers, politicians, insurance salesmen, friends or relatives to dump too many fears into your mind.
Instead, think about good things you want to happen, and think about those instead. Do not fill your mind with fear. Instead, develop your desires; feel excited by your plans for a better future for you and your family.
What is self-determination?
Is your life determined by forces beyond your control? The truth is that your life is determined BOTH by yourself AND by forces beyond your control. Your life is determined by four factors.
1. Yourself.
You are the prime mover in your life. You decide what to think, what to say, what to do, or what to neglect to do. And you are the main determining factor in how it turns out. In addition, you are the ONLY person you can control.
Sadly, many people do not control themselves; they think, say and do the wrong things, and neglect to do the right things. When things go wrong, they are shocked, and like to blame other people.
2. Other people.
Other people certainly can affect you, and they do. You are affected by decisions made by other people. You are affected by actions committed by other people.
Other people can be the source of pleasure and pain. That is why it is important that you treat other people with great respect.
3. The system.
The third element is the system in which you and the others are operating.
If you are all on the Titanic, then it may not matter how you behave, it is NOT going to be a good day. Sometimes, the circumstances do NOT serve your interests.
4. Mother Nature.
The ultimate system is Mother Nature. Mother Nature includes your genetic code, the weather, deadly viruses, storms, floods, droughts, earthquakes and tsunamis. Any one of these natural events can have to power to ruin your day.
On the other hand, Mother Nature includes sandy shores, sunshine, summer breeze and flowers. So, you must make of life what you can.
"All you have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to you." Gandalf, Lord of the Rings
How to Empower Yourself
Every day, ask and answer three key questions that have the power to change the course of your life.
Q1. What should I focus on?
A1. I will focus upon whatever is in the environment that corresponds to the achievement of my goal.
Q2. What does it mean?
A2. Everything that I see that relates to my goal, I regard as a resource I can use to achieve my goal.
Q3. What should I do about it?
A3. I will integrate resources into a practical plan of action that I will use to make another step forward towards a better future.
Empowered people answer the key questions differently to dis-empowered people.
About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years’ experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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