How can I Feel Better About Myself?
How can I feel better about myself?
Here are nine ways you can feel better about yourself:
- Figure out who (or what) you are measuring yourself up against.
- Dress well and keep yourself well-groomed and looking your best.
- Never say derogatory things about yourself to others.
- Instead, tell people you feel great and that today will be a great day.
- Learn to like yourself; so never do anything that you know to be morally wrong.
- Do everything you can to help others achieve their goals.
- Set some personal achievement goals and do everything you can to achieve them.
- Eat well. Keep off alcohol and any other drug. Normalise your weight.
- Exercise three times per week. (Healthy body = healthy mind.)
1. Figure out who (or what) you are measuring yourself up against.
Ensure you are NOT measuring yourself up against an impossible standard.
Many people feel bad about themselves, because they are measuring themselves against an impossible standard.
- Some people measure themselves up against perfection.
- Some people measure themselves up against the world champion.
- You may measure yourself up against somebody else's expectation of you. For example, your parent's expectation and what THEY think you should be.
Whether you feel good about yourself, depends partly on what you are using as the standard against which to measure yourself.
There is not ONE correct answer to which standard you should measure yourself against.
It depends on you: but make sure you have chosen the standard consciously, and NOT feeling bad about yourself because you are subconsciously measuring yourself up against perfection and finding that you don't measure up.
Pick your standard carefully and consciously.
2. Dress well and keep yourself well-groomed and looking your best.
People who feel bad about themselves often don't bother with their appearance.
People with a good self-image present themselves to the world in a positive manner. If you want to affect how you feel about yourself, ensure you are always well groomed. Wash, (shave?), clean your teeth, keep your fingernails clean, polish your shoes, wear fresh clothes. Even if you not rich, you should still be clean. People with mental health problems, often manifest that by a reduction in personal appearance.
There is a reciprocal relationship between the inside of you and the outside of you. One affects the other.
If you feel bad on the inside, you will begin to show that on the outside.
If you feel good on the inside, you will want to show that to the world on the outside.
And that relationship works the other way around: If you show the world "the best you got", then you will begin to feel better on the inside.
3. Never say derogatory things about yourself to others.
What we said about appearance applies to language. There is a reciprocal relationship between language and how you feel about yourself.
If you feel bad about yourself, you will likely say self-depreciating things to others.
If you feel good about yourself, you will tend to say self-confident things to others.
And the relationship works the other way too: So, if you want to feel good about yourself, FORCE yourself to say self-confident things to others.
If you do it for long enough, your brain state will begin to change, to align itself with its own language.
Your brain will not accept self-contradiction forever.
If you insist on talking in positive terms, (even if you don't feel it) then your brain will eventually come into line with your language and will re-configure itself to be coherent with your public statements.
4. Tell people you feel great and that today will be a great day.
You must have heard the idea that if a person repeats a story for long enough, he/she can no longer tell whether the story is true or not. The repeated story seems true because your brain accepts the "truth" to be whatever it has encoded in its memory-banks. The world "is" what your memory tells you it is.
You can use this principle of AUTO -SUGGESTION to your own advantage. Many people use the principle of auto suggestion to their disadvantage.
Note the following: You become whatever you think you are.
5. Never do anything that you know to be morally wrong. (You must learn to like yourself).
Presumably, you have a sense of morality; a sense of Right and Wrong, Good and Evil.
Everyone has a code of ethics. The point I want to make is: Always live within the boundaries set by your code of ethics. Never do anything which you know to be morally wrong. Don't cheat or steal. Be a good person. You can only feel good about yourself if you honestly believe yourself to BE a good person, morally.
If you lie on your bed at night and you KNOW deep down that you have acted dishonourably, or dishonestly, then you won't feel good about yourself.
If you want to feel good about yourself, decide to BE good.
If you feel bad about yourself because of something you did, (or failed to do) in the past, then decide today that you will learn the moral lessons and turn over a new leaf. The "NEW YOU" will be born-again tomorrow and you will go into the future with your moral-compass guiding the way.
Then you will feel good about yourself.
6. Do everything you can to help others achieve their goals.
People who feel bad about themselves often turn inwards. They become self-absorbed. They talk about all the things that are upsetting them, how they don't measure up, how other people treat them badly, and how the system is working against them.
If you want to feel good about yourself, spend your time thinking about how you can help others to achieve their goals.
Humans are social animals. We derive pleasure and self esteem by helping other human beings.
If you want to feel good about yourself and if you want other people to feel good about you, then spend vast amounts of your time helping others to achieve their goals. Help other people to feel good about themselves.
Life is weird sometimes: in the emotional world, you gain positive emotions by giving them away.
The more positive emotions you give away, the more you get back.
Think of yourself as a farmer scattering seeds. The more positive emotion seeds you plant, the greater your potential harvest.
The fewer positive emotion seeds you plant, the greater you risk starving yourself and your family of positive emotions.
In the emotional realm, to get you must first give.
7. Set some personal achievement goals and do everything you can to achieve them.
Like all humans you are a goal striving organism. All living things are goal striving. A plant strives to face the sun and bury its roots towards the damp soil. Animals strive to find a mate and build a nest. You too need goals. You need to be striving towards some goal that will inspire you to give your best efforts.
People without goals are literally aimless. They drift through their days without purpose. That is no way to live. Aimless, drifter-mentalities do not feel good.
If you want to live happily, then decide upon a worthwhile and challenging goal and set you mind to achieve it.
8. Eat well. Keep off alcohol and any other drug. Normalise your weight.
You are a combination of two factors. Mind and body. To feel right in your mind, your body must be right. That means you need to look after your physical state. You need to tend towards the normal. Not too heavy. Not too light. Just right.
If your body weight is not right, then you need to make the necessary changes to your habits.
9. Exercise three times per week. (Healthy body = healthy mind.)
You will probably have heard the phrase: Healthy mind, healthy body.
That is true. If you want a healthy mind, then one way to do that is to work to achieve a healthy body.
One way to achieve a healthy body is to exercise regularly, at least three times a week.
Definition: self-esteem
Self-esteem is a mental state in personal development that shows how much value you give to yourself. It grows from your daily thoughts, words and past wins, steers your mood and choices, and it can rise or fall as you change your habits, set goals, help others and care for your body.
Show CG4D Definition
- Shows the level of worth a person assigns to oneself
- Forms from ongoing self-talk, feelings and past results
- Guides mood, drive and how one acts toward others
- Rises or falls in line with chosen habits, goals and health
Article Summary
Self-esteem rises when you pair kind thoughts with kind acts: choose a fair standard, look sharp, speak hope, act within your morals, lift others, set clear goals, eat well and move often; each small promise kept proves you can trust and like yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some questions that frequently get asked about this topic during our training sessions.
Which standard should I measure myself against?
How can dressing well improve my self-esteem?
Does positive self-talk really change how I feel?
Why does living by my morals boost self-respect?
How does helping others make me feel better?
What kind of goals raise self-esteem quickly?
How often should I exercise to lift my mood?
Thought of something that's not been answered? Ask Us Today!
Did You Know: Key Statistics
Sport England’s Active Lives Adult Survey 2023/24 reports that 58% of UK adults who achieve the recommended 150 minutes of weekly exercise rate their life satisfaction as “high”, compared with 34% of inactive adults. A May 2024 YouGov poll for Mental Health Awareness Week found that 64% of British adults saw a measurable rise in self-esteem after completing a small personal goal each day for four weeks.About the Author: Chris Farmer
Chris Farmer is the founder of the Corporate Coach Group and has many years' experience in training leaders and managers, in both the public and private sectors, to achieve their organisational goals, especially during tough economic times. He is also well aware of the disciplines and problems associated with running a business.
Over the years, Chris has designed and delivered thousands of training programmes and has coached and motivated many management teams, groups and individuals. His training programmes are both structured and clear, designed to help delegates organise their thinking and, wherever necessary, to improve their techniques and skills.
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