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A Simple Way to Gain Confidence

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Posted 14 September 2012 by Chris FarmerChris Farmer

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You may find the following will help with your Assertiveness skills training.

A simple way to gain confidence

How to gain more confidence

Most people would benefit from having more confidence and less fear.

What you may not know is that there is a simple two-word phrase that you can use to be the source of strength and more confidence.

The same phrase can also be the source of fear.

  • If you use this two-word phrase positively-then it can breed confidence, pleasure, success and happiness.
  • If you misuse this two-word phrase - it will cause you fear, pain, failure and unhappiness.

The phrase in question is:

"WHAT IF.....?"

Let us see how "what if" can be used to create fear.

Fear is a negative emotion that clouds the brain and causes people to act in ways that are often counterproductive.

The cause of fear is a specific thought process.

Thoughts of a dangerous or threatening or bad future will always trigger emotions of fear.

Such thoughts are easily created by the misuse of the phrase "WHAT IF....".

By using the phrase "What if........." one can bring to mind any conceivable but arbitrary disastrous scenario.

Then, that scenario will form, in the imagination, a series of mental pictures.

The mental pictures of disaster will be of:

  1. Loss
  2. Pain
  3. Failure
  4. Defeat

As a result, the emotion of fear is triggered and it feels real!


False Evidence Appearing Real

Examples of "WHAT IF............?" statements that you have heard recently, that are likely to induce fear, include:

What if the ice caps melt?
What if the Greece exits the euro?
What if Germany does not bail out the Euro?
What if the amazon forest is cut down?
What if I lose my job?
What if it all goes wrong?

Fear thoughts are a powerful stimulant.

Fear thoughts stimulate the body to produce stress hormones that interfere with your digestion and your brain function.

Fear thoughts can make you sick!
Fear is the cause of much sickness.

Fear it is fed to you by a continuous flow of negative suggestions in the form of "WHAT IF" statements.

(By the way there are an infinite number of possible "what if scenarios" and the press media make up new ones every day in order to create good selling copy).


The press noticed that Fear-threat messages sell more than any other type of message. Be careful of an overdose of fear by the over use of the phrase "WHAT IF .. (Plus any arbitrary statement)?"

Keep your negative imagination under control.

Let us look at how WHAT IF statements can be a force for good!

Did you know that you can you can use WHAT IF statements as a positive stimulant instead of a negative one?

You can trigger creative thinking, strength and confidence by asking positively charged WHAT IF questions about any situation.

For example, try these:

  • What if I asked her and she said YES?
  • What if we tried it a different way?
  • What if we looked at this from their frame of reference, instead of ours?
  • What if I asked them for a chance and they agreed?
  • What if I put my plan into operation and it worked?
  • What if I tried one more time, and this time I succeeded?

Positive emotions and practical plans of action can be stimulated by the phrase WHAT IF.. (Plus any positive suggestion).

Your brain creates emotions that are consistent with the pictures in the mind

Positive "what if" statements create positive pictures in the mind

Your brain reacts to these pictures as if they are real and generates the emotions that are consistent with the pictures on the mental screen.

1. What if I were to train myself up to the point where I must have a great chance of winning?

2. What if I learned all there was to know about the subject before I went into the exam?

3. What if I found my perfect love?

Then, by the same process, but in a positive direction, the mind makes mental pictures that could be the start of something unique and exciting.

The least that will happen is that you will feel a surge of confidence and optimism.

Remember that your imagination can make you sick, weak and miserable!

So keep fear in its place by the proper use of your positive imagination.

Your positive imagination can make you happier, healthier and wealthier

Switch "Positivity" on by using the correct form of "WHAT IF"?

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