How to Build More Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is important. Self-esteem is a measure of how good you feel about yourself.
If you believe you are a valuable person, then you will have a healthy level of self-esteem. People who enjoy high levels of self-esteem, are those who feel at ease with themselves, and as a result, they perform better in all areas. They enjoy greater levels of success and experience a better quality of life, so they are happier and have a greater peace of mind.
If you don't think you are valuable, then you will have a low level of self-esteem.
People who suffer with low levels of self-esteem, don't feel good about themselves, and as a result, they under-perform in all areas; socially, economically, professionally and intellectually. In addition, their subjective experience of life is diminished, so they lack peace of mind.
How to Develop Self-Esteem
Clearly, it is important to know how to raise your self-esteem. To improve your self-esteem and feel good about yourself:
1. Judge yourself against a reasonable standard.
People with low self-esteem, tend to measure themselves and their performance against unrealistic standards. Some people (unconsciously) compare themselves against the standard of an idealised vision of perfection.
If you compare yourself against an unreasonable standard, then you can never win, and you will never feel good enough, which will lead tolow self-esteem.
Therefore, to improve your self-esteem, measure yourself against how you were yesterday and set yourself the goal of improving a little bit on yesterday's performance.
Self-esteem is built upon the principle of progress. If you feel that you are progressing, even by a tiny margin, then you will begin to feel better about yourself.
2. Specialise in something.
People with low self-esteem don't feel they are good at anything. As a result, they find it harder to feel good about themselves.
If you specialise in something (anything!), then that specialised knowledge makes you stand-out and sets you apart; it gives you something to be justly proud of.
3. Present yourself well.
People with low self-esteem tend to neglect their dress code and sometimes their grooming. As a result, they look less than their best, other people respond to their lackadaisical appearance, and they may respond poorly. These poor responses from others adds to their feeling of low self-esteem.
Therefore, make an effort and dress as if you were feeling good about yourself. Make yourself the best you can be, or at least, better than yesterday. Then, people will pick up on your positive stimulus and they will respond more positively. This positive response will give you a higher level of self-esteem.
Pride Comes Before a Fall
Some people are reluctant to give themselves praise, since it would amount to arrogance or pride. This feeling stems from certain moral teachings that pride is one of the seven deadly sins; that "Pride comes before a fall". We are taught not to have self-pride, but instead to have humility.
There is a tension between two opposing demands. There is a tension between the demands of a healthy psychology, which needs a certain level of self-esteem and pride, and the needs of our moral teaching which demands that we are not prideful, and that we should instead be humble.
We need to resolve this tension between the two ideologies. We need to find the middle ground between developing a healthy self-respect, and yet not being immodest or arrogant.
Develop a Healthy Self-respect
The way to do that, is to make sure that you acknowledge you to yourself, whenever you have done something good. There is no need to brag about how good you are to others.
By acknowledging yourself you will begin to develop a good level of self-confidence and a healthy level of self-esteem. This healthy level of self-esteem will show up in all your relationships and interactions as a positive element in your personality. And a healthy level of self-esteem will allow you to enjoy greater levels of peace of mind.
However, if you continually tell everyone else how great you are, then you run the risk of triggering a negative response in others. Some people will be impressed by your show of confidence and will respond positively. But there are many people who are turned off by that type of overt self-confidence and they label it arrogance.
Recognise your achievements, skills and abilities to yourself, in the privacy of your own mind, and you will build a wonderful feeling of self-confidence and a healthy level of self-esteem.
Self-esteem
Self-esteem is the feeling that you matter and can cope. In personal development it is a mental state marked by four traits: you judge your own worth from inside, you feel calm and sure of yourself, you check progress against fair goals, and this belief guides how you act and perform in every area of life.
CG4D Definition
Context: Personal development
Genus: Mental state
- Internal measure of your own worth
- Creates steady sense of confidence and calm
- Grows from checking progress against fair self-set goals
- Shapes actions and results in work, social and private life
Article Summary
Self-esteem rises when you measure today against yesterday, master a skill, and look your best; praise yourself quietly, share results not boasts, and you build calm, lasting confidence without slipping into pride.